Grace Like Rain
by chicabonita51983
Summary: Bella, the youth minister at Carlisle's church, had been best friends with his children, including Edward, since she arrived in Forks. However, one mistake can turn the tables on the lives both Bella and Edward were so sure of. AU Human
1. Chapter 1: One Girl Revolution

_**Author's Note:**_

_Even though this story has an obvious religious theme, above that is a story about personal struggles within relationships. _

_This is also posted on _

_The song is "One Girl Revolution" by Superchic(k)_

_I do not own any of Stephanie Meyer's characters. _

**Chapter 1 – One Girl Revolution**

_BPOV_

"It's a big, big house with lots and lots of room; a big, big table with lots and lots of food; a big, big yard where we can play football; a big, big house; it's my Father's house."

I laughed as I sang along with the kids and did the movements to the Audio Adrenaline song. It was my favorite part of the weekly meetings. After some praise and worship, a game, and a Bible study, we always let loose with fun songs that often had movements to go along with them. The kids enjoyed it, too. Seventh and eighth graders couldn't exactly sit still for a long time, so we always had to do an energetic activity after the study to let them get the energy out.

"Okay!" I grinned as the song finished. "Who wants to lead us out in prayer?" I glanced around the room at all the eager and not-so-eager faces. I always tried to draw out somebody who didn't like to volunteer for the out-loud prayers, especially for the closing prayer. It was usually the shortest one of the meeting and a lot of times, no matter who said it, it would sound the same week to week. At this age, kids are so self-conscious that they think that their prayer would be bad. Honestly, is there truly a heart-felt prayer that is _bad?_

"Samantha!" The shy girl turned red as she heard me call out her name, so I grinned and nodded to give her some confidence. Samantha bowed her head and the others took the cue to do so as well.

"Lord, we thank you for this evening together and the lesson we learned today. I pray that we have confidence in your gift of grace. Please bless this evening and the rest of the week. In your Son's precious name we pray."

"Amen!" Everybody concluded with a clap of the hands.

"All right! I will see you all later!" I watched as the kids got up to gather their things and said good-bye to my friends and me. Some of the girls always came up to me to give a hug as well.

As the kids left, I walked around the room gathering my things as well. I was _hungry_ and couldn't wait to get home to settle my stomach.

"You know those kids love you."

I jumped at the familiar musical voice of one of my best friends. I turned towards the doorway and exclaimed, "Edward!"

"Scared you, didn't I?" he winked.

"Yeah, but don't get too full of yourself. I'll get back at you someday."

"You always say that and you never manage to scare me. I'm too aware of my surroundings," he smirked.

"Yeah, yeah." I rolled my eyes. "What's up?"

"Jasper, Emmett, and Rose are coming over to our place for some pizza and a movie. We wondered if you wanted to come with." By "our" place he meant his and his sister, Alice's house.

_Mmm. Pizza._ "Sure. I was just thinking about going home to dinner anyway."

"Yeah, we'll have none of that," Edward replied, throwing an arm around my shoulders as we headed to our cars. "Why go home to an empty apartment when you can spend some time with friends?"

I shook my head, "I don't really mind living alone, you know that." I truly didn't. I was barely home anyway. I spent my days at the church working on youth ministry and many days I either went out with my friends for some shopping or a movie. Other days, the days when I have youth meetings in the evening, I am so exhausted I barely know I'm living alone before collapsing on my bed and falling asleep. "Besides, Alice is moving out in a couple of months anyway. You remember, right? She's getting married."

"How could I forget? There are bridal magazines, fabric swatches, sample invitations, and who knows what else lying around everywhere. Not to mention all the phone calls she has where she ends up squealing in excitement."

I laughed. That was just like Alice. She was such a ball of energy, and it seemed like she never even slept. Now that she has the wedding to plan for, she was in over-drive. I couldn't really blame her. She has one wedding in her life and she wanted to make it special. When she wasn't at work at the spa where she cut and styled hair, she put all her creativity and energy into her Big Day.

"Well, I'll race you to my place," Edward grinned as we reached our cars and he opened his Volvo.

"Oh yeah. Race you," I rolled my eyes again at him. By "racing" he meant he would speed back to his place while I went a modest five over the speed limit.

I got into my Jeep and immediately plugged my ipod into the radio and pressed shuffle. As my friends knew, my ipod went everywhere with me. I lived on music, and not just one type. I loved everything from classical to country to classic rock to Christian contemporary and rock. I was always musical. At the age of five, I started piano lessons. At ten, I started guitar, and at thirteen my choir director at church noticed my voice.

I laughed again as one of my favorite Superchick songs blared on my speakers. I immediately started singing along.

_I wear a disguise  
I'm just your average jane  
The super doesn't stand for model  
But that doesn't mean I'm plain  
If all you see is how I look  
You miss the superchick within  
And I christen you titanic underestimate and swim  
I've got the rifle gonna be myself  
_

I laughed because this was the song that was playing when I first met Edward. It was two years ago and I had just been hired by his father, Pastor Carlisle, and the elders of the church to be the next youth minister. Edward was visiting his father when he heard the blaring music coming from my office.

_I'll be everything that I want to be  
I am confidence in insecurity  
I am a voice yet waiting to be heard  
I'll shoot the shot, bang, that you hear round the world_

And I'm a one girl revolution

I must have been a sight, dancing around the office singing at the top of my lungs. To add to the picture, I actually had my electric guitar hanging from my neck.

_Some people see the revolution but most only see the girl  
I can lose my hard earned freedom if my fear defines my world  
I declare my independence from the critics and their stones  
I can find my revolution I can learn to stand alone..._

_"Ahem."_

_I heard a masculine voice coming from my doorway. I automatically stopped what I was doing to turn around to see the most gorgeous man staring at me with a smirk on his face. I immediately felt all my blood rise to my face._

_"Hi."_

_I wasn't exactly the most eloquent when speaking to strangers._

_"Hi," he gave a crooked smile. "I am guessing you are Bella."_

_I nodded and took a step closer to the bronze-haired man and offered him my hand. "Yes I am. And you are…?"_

_"Edward Cullen. Carlisle's son."_

_I'll be everything that I want to be  
I am confidence in insecurity  
I am a voice yet waiting to be heard  
I'll shoot the shot, bang, that you hear round the world_

That was the day I got acquainted with the first of the Cullen triplets. I couldn't believe it when I found out that Edward was part of a trio. Carlisle's wife, Esme, although having the soft curves of a woman, is also very slight. I couldn't imagine her small body carrying three babies at a time.

As time passed, Edward and I became good friends. He had helped with the youth ministry in years past, and he was a good teacher the first couple of months. I appreciated all that he did for me. He worked 12-hour shifts at a hospital as a pediatrician, and often, he would come directly to the church to help me, even though he was exhausted.

I did get over my lack of eloquence around him in no time at all. Our friendly bond grew stronger than any attraction I might have held for him.

If people went solely on appearances, they would never believe that Edward and I could be friends. He was what I like to call a "pretty boy." He was always dressed in trousers and a polo or a button-up shirt. On the rare occasions that he wore jeans, they were designer jeans that Alice picked out.

Then there was me. Alice considered me a fashion disaster. The only thing she liked about my style was my hair, and that's only because I let her style it into the short, spiky style that it is now. Oh… she also liked my trendy black thick-framed glasses that I always wore.

It was the rest of me that she disliked. She called it my signature style, though. By that I mean my wide leg jeans that were often frayed on the bottom with my converses peeking out from the hem. Then there was the studded belt I always wore. Alice was all right with that, but she couldn't understand how the only change I made in my day-to-day style was which t-shirt I decided to wear. As far as the t-shirts go, she was glad that I at least wore fitted shirts and didn't go around in baggy jeans _and_ shirts.

Hey, in my defense, sometimes I wore a button-up blouse. It kind of changed how I looked.

If people couldn't believe that Edward and I were friends, they probably could hardly believe that Edward and his siblings were 29-year-old triplets, or siblings for that matter. It's as if each child received a completely different strand of DNA.

Edward was tall, over six feet, with bronze hair that always looked perfectly messy and green eyes. He was lean, but very strong. Emmett, his brother, was a good four inches taller than Edward with brown curly hair and hazel eyes. He was _huge_ as well. I wouldn't want to witness anybody getting in his way.

Emmett was a physical education teacher at an elementary school where he met his now-wife, Rosalie. They have been married for just over a year.

Where Emmett and Edward were tall, Alice topped the cake at being short. Under five feet, she was pixie-like in the way she moved. Like me, she had black hair cut into a style that flared out at the ends. At least she had green eyes like Edward.

Alice was engaged to Jasper. They met a year ago when he came in to get his hair trimmed. They clicked immediately and began dating later that week. Jasper is the store manager to a family-owned department store. Thus, Alice was able to plan the wedding of her dreams without money being an issue.

The siblings were inseparable. They were each other's best friends, and it still amazed me that I finagled my way into their group. It wasn't as if they were closed-off. They all had friends outside of their family, but when they accepted me, they accepted me as if I were family. Alice said that we all were just meant to be together.

Even their parents accepted me as just one of the family. My parents were in two different states across the continent from me, and Carlisle and Esme just took me under their wings to be my adoptive parents when my own couldn't always be there for me.

It was their acceptance and love that made living in Forks, Washington so tolerable. Otherwise, I would have been lost in the rainy town I now called home. I was so home-sick for Arizona when I arrived in Forks, but somehow I knew when I was offered the job, it was where God wanted me. The leap of faith I took along with my new friends gave me a new prospective on life; what we want isn't always what we need.

For what must have been the hundredth time that night, I grinned as I got out of my car to join the rest of my "family" in Edward's and Alice's house.

_And I'm a one girl revolution_


	2. Chapter 2: Between Raising Hell and

_**Author's Note:**_

_Thanks to those who reviewed ___

_The song here is "Between Raising Hell and Amazing Grace" by Big & Rich_

**Chapter 2: Between Raising Hell and Amazing Grace**

_I was raised by the good book  
learned to work hard every day  
Thought that if you can't say something good  
there's nothing good to say  
And I caught on pretty early it's no use to work  
no harder than you play  
So I guess that's how I ended up this way_

_EPOV_

As I pulled into the driveway, I saw two cars that let me know that everybody besides Bella was already gathered at my house. I sighed as I got out of my car; it had been a long week, and finally it was Friday. For once in a long time, I had the weekend off at the hospital. I planned on spending it relaxing with my siblings and friends with no stress what-so-ever.

"Edward!" I laughed as I saw my sister yelling out the front door. "Will you hurry up? We're starving and want to order the pizza!"

I jogged up to the front door. "I'm coming, but we have to wait for Bella, anyway."

"Oh, yay! She's coming. I needed to see her; she and Rose need to decide on the bridesmaids' gown."

I rolled my eyes. "You know you'd probably see her tomorrow, anyway."

Alice pouted, "But this way I can sleep better tonight."

"You always astound me, little sister."

"Hey! I'm only younger by fifteen minutes!"

"I wasn't referring to your age," I smirked. Her eyes narrowed when she realized that I was talking about her height.

Any retort that she had for me was interrupted when Emmett pulled her out of the way to greet me. "Hey bro." He gave me a slap on the back. "How are the kids treating you?"

"Okay, except when I have to give them their shots. How about you?" We started walking towards the living room.

"Besides getting hit three times in the head by basketballs, not bad."

"Ah. The occupational hazards of teaching children."

"At least you didn't get told to Ef-off," Rosalie joined in the conversation about our days.

"What did you do to him?" Jasper entered the room from the kitchen with a couple of beers. He looked at me with his eyebrows raised, silently asking if I wanted one. I raised my hand to catch the bottle he threw at me and sat down on the couch.

Rosealie smirked, "I told _her_ to spit out his gum."

"You know, that is something I never got," Jasper commented. "It seems like when we were in school, we didn't dare talk back to the teacher. Now, all I hear from you two are ways that kids find to disrespect rules and authority."

"Tell me about it," Rose responded. "I swear, teachers are not paid enough these days."

"Knock, knock." We all turned around to see Bella's head peaking through the door.

Alice squealed and ran to hug her friend. "I'm so excited! We can finally decide on the bridesmaids' dresses!"

Bella blushed and laughed her laugh that I loved so much. Bella was something else. I don't know how else to put it. When I first saw her dancing around the office with her guitar, I thought my father had to be crazy to hire somebody like her for the youth minister position. But something hooked me to her and I pursued a friendship with her. It wasn't long that I realized that she was perfect for the job. She was young enough that the kids would respond to her as well, and her love for God overflowed.

True, some of the older regular church-goers cringed at her style, but even Bella was able to win over the most obstinate member. The youth program expanded ten-fold in the two years that she was in Forks.

"Hey slow-poke," I teased as she walked past me to get to another chair. She turned to greet me back, but as she did, her foot caught on the coffee table and started to fall. Immediately, I reached out to stop her falling and ending up pulling her on my lap. Her face was tomato red now. I never understood how she still could get red with all the times that she fell around us.

"Really, Bella," I shook my head, "you really need to watch your step."

My teasing must have released her tension because she turned around to stick out her tongue at me before sliding off my lap into the space next to me on the couch.

I secretly loved it when she stuck out her tongue at me. It made me think about other ways she could…

I mentally slapped myself in the head. _Stop it, Edward. Seriously, you know it would be impractical to be with her._

So the truth is, I had a crush on Bella.

No, that's a lie. I was in love with her. Besides my family, and lately, Jasper, I was closer to her than anybody else. We talked about everything from movies and books, music and politics, faith and our favorite pizza place. She has seen me angry, sad, stressed, joyful; every emotion under the sun. I have nearly seen all of hers as well.

When she blushed, I wanted to kiss her senseless. When she laughed, I wanted to kiss her senseless. When she cried, I wanted to kiss her senseless. When she frowned… Okay, you get the point.

Alice has yelled at me too many times to make my move, but my rational side argued with my emotions. I was practically starting my career; I didn't have time for a relationship right now. Furthermore, we were both prominent in the church. It would be awkward if things didn't end well. Not to mention, I was scared of losing our friendship. I'd rather have her as just a friend than not at all.

"Earth to Edward." Several pillows hitting me pulled me out of my reverie. By the looks on their faces, I knew it was the three women who were trying to get my attention. Alice looked especially amused.

"What do you want on your pizza?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Whatever."

"Anchovies it is then!" Bella laughed.

"Eww. Just pepperoni would be fine with me."

When all of us were together, we ended up getting three pizzas. Emmett needed on for himself; Jasper and I shared one, and then the girls ate about half of the last one. Emmett usually finished the other half off.

As soon as the pizza was ordered, things went back to normal between all of us. The girls went into a corner to look at wedding plans, and us guys started talking about sports, video games, cars, or politics. Once in a while the conversation would turn to the upcoming wedding, but since Jasper was letting Alice take the reigns, the conversation didn't stay there for long.

When the pizza finally arrived, we all settled down to watch Rose's choice of a movie: _Gone in 60 Seconds_. Her hobby was all things cars, and if she had a chance to watch a movie featuring awesome cars, she was in.

Movie nights were always the hardest for me to be around Bella. The trouble was, we were so comfortable together, she thought nothing of it to cuddle next to me to rest her head on my shoulder. Sometimes, she would even lay down with her head on my lap. These were the times that I had to practically hold my breath and use all my strength not to do anything rash… like make out with her in front of everybody. I'm pretty sure that she wouldn't want the making out; never mind the "in front of everybody" part of it.

Okay, so before you think I'm such a sex-crazed freak, I have a good reason. I haven't dated anybody in several years. I was never one for even going as far as kissing a girl I had just met, even when I went through my rebel anti-religion phase. To me, every touch was special and needed to be earned by the man.

So imagine my surprise the first time we watched a scary movie and Bella's face was in my shoulder the whole time.

That was the first time I realized I loved Bella Swan.

Several hours later, Alice had gone up to bed since she had to be at the salon early, and Jasper had left soon after. Emmett and Rosalie had just left and it was just Bella and me picking up the paper plates, pizza boxes, and beer bottles from the living room.

"Seriously, I know Emmett is huge," Bella said as she picked up the bottles from the floor, "But _five?_"

I laughed, "That's nothing. Besides, look who's talking. You have to make sure that you eat a full three course meal before opening a bottle or you'd be on the floor giggling like a school girl."

"Hey! A small tolerance just means I drink in moderation. And there's nothing wrong with that."

"You are absolutely right," I replied, as I took the garbage bag from her to put it by the door. I turned to her as she went to grab her keys and shoes. "Are you okay to drive home? It's pretty late."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I don't live far anyway."

"Watch out for deer on the road."

"Yeah, yeah," she rolled her eyes.

"Maybe I should follow you home. You never know who is waiting for you."

"Edward! I'm _fine._ I'm a big girl; I know how to take care of myself."

"Twenty-five isn't that big."

"Edward!"

"Okay, fine. But call me when you get home."

"Fine," she huffed.

I reached out to hug her and whispered, "Have a good night."

"You too," she squeezed back.

I don't know why that night was so different. Why this time, I couldn't pull myself out of the hug. Why this time I found my face going to the left so that are cheeks were together. Why this time, I went farther.

_Mayday! Mayday! Turn back now!_

But I couldn't. When I saw that her eyes were closed and enjoying the hug, I leaned in and touched my lips softly to hers.

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Stop this now!_

But I couldn't. She was responding and kissing back. Not only that, she had her hands in my hair, playing with the locks and gently pulling me down to her. I never felt like this before. It was as if I finally found what I was looking for.

So I did what any other man in my position would do: I tightened my hold the same time I deepened the kiss and pushed her back against the door.

_Please,_ I begged Bella silently, _stop this now. I can't on my own._

_Somewhere between raising hell and amazing grace  
Is a place I keep finding myself  
Yeah I get a little crazy trying to have a little fun  
Then I end up back where I started from  
Down on my knees, I pray  
Oh Lord let me see another day  
Somewhere between raising hell and amazing grace_

She let out a barely audible moan.

_Damn it all to Hell._


	3. Chapter 3: Collide

_**Author's Note:**_

_Thank you all for your reviews as always! I read and enjoy them all ___

_Here's a fair warning: Alice uses some choice words in this chapter. _

_The song is "Collide" by Howie Day_

**Chapter 3: Collide**

_The dawn is breaking  
A light shining through  
You're barely waking  
And I'm tangled up in you_

I awoke to a stream of light coming into my bedroom. It wasn't often that I awoke to that, seeing I lived in one of the rainiest places in the United States.

A movement beside me distracted me from the window and I looked beside me to see Bella curled next to me with a slight smile on her face. The instant I saw her and felt her warmth, the previous night's events came back to me in a flash.

_I'm open, you're closed  
Where I follow, you'll go  
I worry I won't see your face  
Light up again_

_Oh. My. God. Did that really happen?_

The proof that it did currently was lying by my side wrapped in several blankets. A wave of panic suddenly went through me, and I was just about to jump out of bed before a second wave, a wave of calm, quelled any thought of disturbing my Bella.

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find  
You and I collide_

_My Bella._ I couldn't help calling her that. My head couldn't stop berating me for what we did, but my heart swelled with the fact that maybe she returned some of my feelings for her. She had to. She definitely was not the type to fall into bed with the first guy that kissed her.

_I'm quiet you know  
You make a first impression  
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind_

Still, there was guilt. I truly believed that sex was sacred; it _was_ a gift given by God to share between a husband and a wife. But that was just it; it was so sacred, it was only to be shared with your spouse.

I wasn't a virgin by any means. During the most part of college, I had a long-time sexual relationship with my ex-girlfriend, Tanya. But after we had broken up, and I rediscovered my faith, I vowed to wait until marriage again.

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the stars refuse to shine  
Out of the back you fall in time  
I somehow find  
You and I collide_

But I _am_ a human, and a _man_ at that. Seven years of celibacy wasn't exactly the easiest thing to get through. I was doing great until now.

I wondered about Bella. We never really got into discussions about our past love lives, but she was so naïve in so many things, it must have been her first time. I took that from her.

_Don't stop here  
I lost my place  
I'm close behind_

This must never happen again.

I was scared, though. I knew we were going to have to talk about what happened. I was frightened that she didn't want a relationship with me, but I was absolutely petrified that she would be angry with me and accuse me of taking advantage of her.

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
You finally find  
You and I collide_

I couldn't really blame her. I did, and I felt horrible about it.

_Just stop, Edward. Enjoy the moment now, and worry about it when she awakes._

I took my own advice and fell back into a peaceful sleep, knowing that at least for now, Bella was in my arms.

_You finally find  
You and I collide  
You finally find  
You and I collide_

I awoke an hour later with a start. The bathroom door had been slammed and Bella was missing from my side.

I groaned. This was the moment of truth. I dreaded it with every fiber of my being.

Hesitantly, I got up from the bed and pulled on a pair of jeans and went over to the bathroom door. I knocked quietly. "Bella?"

"Go away!"

"Bella, we need to talk about this."

My heart broke when I heard a sob coming from behind the door. "Not now! Go away!"

"Please," I was practically on my knees begging her to come out of the bathroom.

"What is going on here? Why are you slamming doors? And are you on the phone with Bella?"

I groaned for the second time that morning. Alice, all bubbly as usual bounced into my room, but stopped short after all her questions. I saw as her eyes went from the bed, to me without a shirt leaning against the bathroom door. Her eyes went back and forth for a minute before anger clouded her eyes.

"YOU ASSHOLE!"

Alice never used bad language. She was angry. Very angry. Angry enough to keep hitting me in the chest.

"You seduced Bella? You better have a good explanation. When I'm done with you, you will bedridden not able to talk or ever have babies! Oh, I'm furious. I'm more than furious. I'm PISSED OFF." She kept hitting me in the chest. I'm definitely going to have bruises there later.

Apparently when she was really angry she like to emphasize the curse words.

"And wait until I tell Emmett! You will really be in it when he finds out! You know he loves Bella as much as the rest of us. He sees her as a little sister to protect. You would fare better with just me beating you up!"

I grabbed her wrists and stopped her from hitting me. "No, Alice! Nobody needs to know about this. This is between me, Bella, and now, unfortunately, you. _No one else._"

Alice let out a huff. "Fine. Bella is probably already embarrassed. I know how she is." She glared at me. "Hold on, I'm going to go call off work."

She took out her cell phone and dialed her work. I have to say that my sister was a very good actress. If I didn't know why she was calling off work, I would have really believed she was sick.

Just as she hung up the phone, the bathroom door opened and Bella, dressed in her clothes from last night, stepped out. Alice and I both turned and asked, "How are you?" at the same time.

She ignored the question from both of us, and she wouldn't even look at me. "Why are you calling off work, Alice?"

"Because, now I get to spend the day with you to comfort you for whatever this douche bag did to you."

I winced at the name she just called me. She was angrier than I thought. She had never called me a name out of anger.

"Alice," Bella looked at her with sad eyes. "It wasn't just his fault. I wasn't as if I was a non-willing participant in last night's… activities."

"That's just because he's a good persuader. I have no doubt in my mind that it was his fault."

It figures. Alice would always take Bella's side. Us men were just evil seducers and women were always the victims. Well, I couldn't blame her this time. I did feel as if I was the bad guy this time.

Bella shook her head, "No, Alice. He doesn't deserve this." She looked down at her feet before stating, "I have to go." With those words, she turned around and walked quickly out of my room.

I immediately turned to run after her. "Bella, wait!"

She kept running, ignoring my pleas. I finally caught up to her at the front door, and kept my hand firmly on the door, impeding her escape.

"Bella, we need to talk. We can't pretend like this never happened." I tried to catch her eyes, but she skillfully kept them from me. She knew that I could tell how she was feeling by looking into them.

"No we don't. And yes we can. We have to."

"Why?"

"Because… I…" Tears started coming down her cheeks. "Please, I just need to go."

The sadness in her voice broke my heart yet again, and I took my hand away from the door to let her open it. She was gone without another word or a look back.

I stood there, watching her leave from the window. I screwed up, and I knew it. She knew it, and Alice knew it.

"Get out of the way, douche." Alice pushed me out of her way.

"Where are you going?"

"To fix what you broke."


	4. Chapter 4: We All Fall

_**AN: **__Thanks all for the reviews ____ I am going back to school full-time tomorrow, so I do not know how often I will be posting. I do have several chapters written after this, but after that, I don't know when I'll post again._

_The song is "We All Fall" by Superchic(k)_

**Chapter 4: We All Fall**

Tears clouded my eyes all the way home. There were so many emotions flowing through my body, that I wasn't sure why I was crying.

Disbelief, for one. How could I be so weak? I didn't even love him like _that._ At least I didn't think so. Yeah, I was attracted to him, and yeah, he was one of my best friends, but it never crossed my mind that we could be anything more.

Well, it did from time to time; but I also knew that nothing would ever come from it. I thought he just saw me as a little sister.

Well, apparently not.

I was incredibly unsure of my feelings now. There had to some other hidden feelings within me if I so readily jumped in his arms.

And then under disbelief was pleasure. I blushed through my tears at thinking about it. I had to admit that it was good. Well, I didn't have much to go by, honestly. The only other man I slept with was my ex, Jacob, and that was back in high school. How could you really compare to a high school romance and two inexperienced teenagers?

It still pained me to think about Jacob, so I let my mind quickly move to the next emotion.

Guilt.

You know the saying, "Christians aren't perfect, they're just forgiven?" It has several implications: first, those Christians who claim that they don't sin anymore are full of it; second, we shouldn't let guilt impede our lives. We are forgiven. Always. No matter what we did. It was the gift of grace.

_We all fall sometimes  
We all let ourselves down  
Sometimes there's nothing left, but to live with what's been done  
And know you're not the only one who falls._

Unfortunately, I tended to feel guilt for many things that I do no matter if I meant to do them or not. I had this deep desire to please everybody, especially God. And if I let anyone down, I feel as if I had a lot of making-up to do.

This was one of the instances. I was deeply sorry for what I did. Since I became a Christian in college, one of the vows I made was to remain abstinent until marriage. So much for that.

I needed to be perfect. I needed to prove to me, to my family, to my friends, to God, that I could be perfect in all areas of my life so that I earned their love.

What kind of twisted theology is that, especially after I just had a lesson with the middle school and high school students about the special gift?

As I pulled into the parking lot for my apartment complex, I saw in my rear-view mirror that Alice had been following me. It didn't surprise me, and truthfully, I was glad. I didn't want to be alone now; I couldn't be alone now.

I silently waited by my car for Alice to park and walk towards me. Without a word, we walked to my apartment and entered my home. It wasn't often that neither Alice nor I didn't have anything to say, and honestly, it was rather awkward.

It wasn't until Alice and I had sat down on the couch and recliner, respectively, before Alice spoke up.

"What happened?"

"I don't know," I answered quietly.

"What do you mean you don't know? You said you were an active participant."

I shrugged. "Well, I know what happened. I guess I was answering the unspoken question of why."

"So why?"

I threw up my hands, "I don't know!"

Alice sighed, "Well start with what happened then."

"It was late, I was leaving, we hugged, he kissed me, and next thing I know we were in his bed." I blushed as I recounted the events of last night.

The next question shocked me. "How many times?"

My mouth dropped open. "Once!" She raised her eyebrows at me. Damn Alice for knowing when I was lying. "Three times," I bowed my head.

"What?!" Alice stood up, and seemed kind of, well, mad. "For a girl claimed that she was saving herself for marriage and doesn't know why she had sex, that's kind of a lot! It's not like it was one mistake. You must have made the subsequent decisions to do it again."

I saw the judgmental look on Alice's face, and I felt like I was about to sob again. _Not her. Not my best friend. _Out of all the people in my life, I would never expect Alice to be the one that judged me. This is why I was grateful that Alice followed me. I expected her to listen, to console, and mainly, remind me of the truth without being condescending.

"Don't judge me, Alice." Tears were starting to pour down my face again. "Please."

"I'm not judging."

"Yes you are, little miss 'I'm still a virgin even though I have been with my fiancé for a year.' I'm sorry that I'm not the pure soul you thought I was. That I practically jumped the first man that kissed me in three years." Above the hurt, I felt anger; anger at Alice and anger at myself. I expected Alice to be my best friend, and I was angry at myself because what Alice said was true. Last night, I must have made a conscious decision to not push Edward away; to not have allowed the second and third times to even happen.

Well, to be exact, to not have initiated the third.

I groaned as I held my head in my hands. _What is wrong with me?_

A few moments of silence passed before when suddenly I felt Alice climb into my lap and hug me.

"I'm sorry, Bella. You're right. I was judging. I have no right to, especially since it seems that you are beating yourself up more than I ever could." She paused before continuing, "I guess I'm just confused. I didn't think you thought of Edward like that."

_We all fail sometimes  
We all let someone down  
Sometimes there's nothing left but to promise to ourselves  
that next time we won't be the one to fail._

"I didn't think so, either. I'm confused, too."

There was silence between us again before Alice spoke again, "You know whatever you did is no worse than any sin anybody else commits."

I knew Alice would begin with the truth. A sin to God was a sin; it didn't matter if you killed somebody or told a fib. I admit, it seems unfair. When we live our lives devoid of any crime, I think we tend to think ourselves higher than a criminal. But we weren't.

Telling me what we knew to be true was always like Alice. That is why I went to her for help so often. I often felt almost inferior to her. After all, she was brought up in a Christian household with a pastor for a father. I, on the other hand, did not become a Christian until college.

Even though I know Alice was trying to help me, I, the devil's advocate, contradicted her. "But different sins have different effects on people, Alice. Last night has already affected Edward, me, and you, whether you realize it or not. This isn't a sin that only affects you a little. This has big repercussions for us individually and our relationships with each other."

_I wanna tell you can go on  
Life beginnings come from ends  
I still believe in you and so does God  
_

"True," she nodded. "I can't deny that. You just need to work through the issues. I will always be there for you. And you know God is always here, too, right?

I sniffled while I nodded my head.

"Well, the first thing to do is discuss any _physical_ implications."

I looked up, "What do you mean?"

I could have sworn that Alice's face turned red, and she wasn't one to blush. "Did you use protection?"

This time it was my turn to blush. I shook my head.

"Bella! That was stupid!"

I huffed, "Well, it isn't like we're both ready to have sex with anybody. It was a spur of the moment type of thing. Besides, if I were to see Edward reach into his drawer for readily available condoms, I think I would get out of there quickly." Okay, I wasn't exactly sure if that would be the case, but that was beside the point.

"Ugh. Please don't talk about my brother that way." Alice got off my lap to sit on the couch again.

"Sorry."

"So what are you going to do if you end up pregnant?"

"I'm on the pill. I've always been irregular, so my doctor put me on it."

Alice let out a sigh of relief. "Well, at least we don't have to worry about that."

Honestly, a baby was the last thing on my mind, but once Alice brought it up, I released a sigh of relief. A baby would only complicate matters.

"So what are you going to do?"

"About what?"

Alice rolled her eyes, "My brother, of course."

I shrugged, "I don't know. I'm afraid to talk to him."

"Why?" Alice's eyebrows furrowed together.

"I'm afraid that he won't ever want to speak to me again. He probably thinks I'm some kind of slut now." I just thought of something that made me worry even more, "You don't think he'll tell your dad, do you?"

"Geez, Bella. I thought you knew Edward better than that. First off, I know he thinks of you as one of his best friends, so he will want to speak to you again. Secondly, it sounds like he's the one who started this whole thing, so if he has the nerve to think _you're_ the slut, he's getting a thrashing from me, and lastly, if he wanted to be a dick and tell our dad, he would only incriminate himself. Besides, he loves you too much to do anything that would hurt you."

I didn't want to know what Alice meant by him loving me, so I didn't ask. I already had confusing feelings for him, and the last thing I needed was his feelings becoming entangled in my own.

"Bella, you should rest. Your mind is working a mile and a minute, and you need to relax."

"You're probably right," I nodded.

I suddenly saw Alice's eyes twinkle as if she was going to tease me for something, and I braced myself to hear what she had to say next.

"And not to mention you probably did not get much sleep at all last night. It seems that you were more…" Alice pretended to clear her throat, "_pleasantly _engaged."

For the first time that morning, I laughed and threw a pillow at Alice. "Get out."

_He's the one who still believes in those who fail  
He's the one who still believes in those who fall_

I woke up several hours later to the sound of Alice and Rosalie in my living room.

"So why do we need to cheer Bella up?" Rosalie asked with a slight of annoyance in her tone. That was just like Rosalie. It's not like I didn't like her; I do. It's just that she was very hesitant in accepting me in their little group. When I arrived in Forks, she and Emmett had just gotten engaged, and in her opinion, the family group was just that: for family. For the first few months, she was rather cold to me. Thankfully, she improved and lately has been actually trying to befriend me.

"I can't tell you. All I can say is that she just needs some time with friends. Why don't you relax? Girls' nights are always fun!"

"It's not that I mind cheering Bella up," Rosalie defended herself; "It's that I would like to know _why_ we are cheering her up."

"I know, but it is for her to tell you, not me. Now why don't we go in there and jump on her bed?"

_Oh no. _I braced myself for the two squealing women running into my bedroom and hopping on my bed.

"Come on sleepyhead!" Alice exclaimed. "It's time for some girly fun!"

I giggled when I notice that both Alice and Rosalie were wearing matching pajamas and that Alice was holding another pair.

"Get changed into these, and then meet us in the living room. We have Chinese food, girly movies, and stuff to make margaritas!" Alice jumped off the bed to exit the room.

"Margaritas and Chinese food?" I asked, perplexed.

Rosalie laughed, "That's Alice for you. We just won't drink the margaritas until after we're done with the food."

Two minutes later, I was in my pajamas and sitting on the couch with my friends. Alice was handing out the Chinese food cartons and talking about the movies we could watch. All she mentioned were love stories, and I definitely was not in the mood for those, so I kept refusing her choices.

"Sweet Home Alabama?"

"No."

"The Notebook?"

"No."

"Pride and Prejudice?"

"Tempting, but no."

Rosalie smirked, "Wow, she even refused Pride and Prejudice. What is wrong with her?"

Alice ignored her comment and continued. "Gone with the Wind?"

"No."

"Casanova?"

I shook my head and she threw up her hands. "I give up!"

That was when Rosalie held up a DVD case and suggested, "Beaches?"

"Yes!" I grinned.

"Ahh," Rosalie smiled knowingly. "It's a man problem. That's the only reason why you wouldn't want to watch any of those other movies."

I blushed and nodded, but didn't say anymore.

We spent the next two hours or so painting our nails, drinking margaritas, and watching the movie. All of us had tears at the end, of course, and it was a while after the ending credits until we spoke.

I had just enough tequila in my system that made me blurt out, "I slept with Edward."

Alice gasped and covered her mouth, but Rosalie didn't even blink while she leaned down to focus on painting her pinky toe.

"Is that all?"

I looked at her, perplexed. "What do you mean is that all?"

She shrugged, "Nothing, it's just that it was obvious it was going to happen one of these days. The only thing I am surprised at is that you weren't actually dating before doing it."

I knew from prior discussions that Rosalie was in a group of Christians that didn't necessarily think it was forbidden in the Bible to not have sex outside of marriage. I wasn't sure if it was expressly written, either, but I just knew that God would prefer it to be within marriage from other verses within both the Old and the New testament.

"Well, was it good?" Rosalie finally looked up at me.

Alice let out a fit of giggles before finally covering her mouth. Well, at least I knew she was over the shock.

"I… I…" _Damn it. I shouldn't have had that second margarita._ Rose raised her eyebrows at me.

"Come on, the guy is a freaking Adonis and you can't answer that question?"

I blushed even a deeper red.

Rose smirked, "I take that as a 'yes.'"

Finally I cried out, "Don't you see, Rose? We weren't even dating, never mind married!"

"You need to relax, Bella. Everybody makes mistakes. You're not going to Hell just because you had sex. You need to break out of your cocoon and realize you're not going to be perfect, and that nobody, especially God expects you to be perfect."

I stared wide-eyed at the last person I thought would ever hear those words from. She wasn't the person I went to for help, and she barely even opened her mouth to talk about her faith. Not to mention that she saw through me and knew what was really bothering me, besides the change in relationship between Edward and me.

It was Rose's succinct words that finally broke me out of my haze and made me decide to let this experience make me a stronger woman.


	5. Chapter 5: Gratitude

_**A/N: **__As always, thanks for the reviews ____ You guys are awesome._

_The song in here is "Gratitude" by Nichole Nordeman._

**Chapter 5: Gratitude**

_Send some rain, would You send some rain?  
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again  
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade  
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?  
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down  
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid  
But maybe not, not today  
Maybe You'll provide in other ways  
And if that's the case . . ._

Three weeks passed and I managed to go on with my life. There were times when I had nothing to distract me that I slipped back into my guilt-stricken state, but I got into the habit to start reciting memory verses when that happened. It helped me actually believe that I had God's forgiveness and that I could heal.

Meanwhile, I still was too much of a coward to face Edward. I couldn't avoid him altogether. At least once a week, his siblings and I did something together, and more often than not, he was there. I just made sure I sat away from him and only joined in a conversation with him when others were involved.

That didn't stop him from trying to corner me, though. I had to avoid him at church on Sunday and many days during the week when he was there to help. Whenever he spotted me, he would approach, but I made a quick exit or began a conversation with somebody nearby.

Alice would often try to leave me alone with him in a room, but I would always find an excuse to leave the room when she was trying to keep me in the same room as him. Of course, she let me know everyday what a child I was being, and that I better grow up and face it like an adult.

But I just wasn't ready to do that yet.

And then the unthinkable happened.

_We'll give thanks to You  
With gratitude  
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You  
How to bless the very sun that warms our face  
If You never send us rain_

I was sitting in my office one evening when Alice had called. She wanted to set a date for her bridal shower so that she could ask for off way in advance so nobody would schedule an appointment for that date. We set a date, and we were idly chatting as I stared up at the calendar.

_Wow. Already May 15__th__. Just five more months until her wedding._

_Wait. What?_

I began counting back furiously. There had to be something wrong. This could not be happening.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I heard Alice's worried voice on the phone.

I was shaken back to reality with her question and quickly sputtered, "Alice, can you meet me at my place in a half hour?"

"Yeah. Sure. What's going on?"

"I'll explain when I get there."

_Daily bread, give us daily bread  
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed  
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight  
Wrap us up and warm us through  
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs  
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time  
Or maybe not, not today  
Maybe You'll provide in other ways  
And if that's the case . . ._

I jumped out of my chair, grabbed my keys and ran out of my office just in time to literally bump into Edward.

He reached out to grab me before I fell down.

"Bella! Do you…"

"I can't talk now, Edward. I need to leave."

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing… I hope," I bit my bottom lip. "Please, just let me go."

"Not until you talk to me," Edward was blocking the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I can't!" I almost yelled.

"Why?"

"Look, Edward," I rubbed my forehead as a headache started forming. "Could you please just let me go if I promise to talk to you this week?"

"You promise?"

"Yes!" _Because if my suspicions are correct, I have no choice._

"Okay," he conceded. "I'll see you later." Before I could move he reached down to give me a lingering kiss on my cheek.

I closed my eyes as I felt the tingle where his lips touched my skin. I wanted so much to stay there, to be held by him, and to ask if we could start over… maybe even as more than friends. It took all my strength to force my legs to walk away from him and out into the parking lot.

I raced in my Jeep much faster than I usually did, stopping at Walmart on the way home. I made sure that I used the self-checkout lane. I didn't want any busy-body starting rumors about me.

Alice was already in my apartment when I got home. I had given her a copy of my key for emergencies, but she often used it to walk in whenever she wanted to.

As soon as she saw my worried face, her own became scared. "Bella, what's wrong?"

I took a slow deep breath.

"Alice, what day is it?"

"Thursday. Why?"

"I mean, what's the date?"

She stopped to think before answering, "May 15th, why?"

_We'll give thanks to You  
With gratitude  
A lesson learned to hunger after You  
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead _

_And if we never taste that bread_

"My period was supposed to start a week ago."

Alice's face turned even paler than it was normally. She shook her head slightly. "No, you said you were on the pill."

"I am."

"But isn't it 99.999% effective or something like that?" She was in a state of disbelief.

"I thought so!" I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands. "I don't know what to do!"

_Oh, the differences that often are between  
What we want and what we really need_

Alice sat down next to me. "First, calm down. There has to be a reasonable explanation for this."

"Yeah, like a miniature Edward growing inside of me?" I rolled my eyes.

"No. I mean, you've obviously been stressed, and that can be a factor. Because you have been stressed, you haven't been eating as well, and you've even been exercising more!"

I looked sideways at Alice. "By exercising do you mean me playing bowling on the Wii?"

"Well…" Alice looked desperate. "It does make you move more."

"Yeah, like my right arm."

Alice took another deep breath and stole a glance at the bag I was holding. "I suppose those are tests?"

"Yeah. I bought one of each."

Alice looked at me quizzically. "Why?"

"Just in case one is defective or something. Do you know how expensive these things are? I spent almost $100 on them all!"

Alice rolled her eyes, "You're crazy."

"I know."

_So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace  
Move our hearts to hear a single beat  
Between alibis and enemies tonight  
Or maybe not, not today  
Peace might be another world away  
And if that's the case . . ._

"We will do this together," Alice took my hand and squeezed. "Well, we'll read the results together. You can go to the bathroom by yourself. "

I gave Alice a small smile. Leave it to her to still say something amusing in a situation like this.

"While you're in there, I'm going to do an online search to research the pill's failure rate."

I stood up grudgingly and went to the bathroom. "Wish me luck."

"Luck," Alice said with a worried smile.

Once I was in the bathroom, it took me a full five minutes before I even had the nerve to open one of the boxes to read the instructions. Alice had knocked several times to make sure I was okay.

It took another three minutes to gather up the nerve to actually take the test.

I put the cap back on the end where I had peed on it, set at a timer, and left the bathroom to see what Alice had found out.

"Well?" I asked.

"All these sites say that if taken correctly, it is 99.9% effective. Of course, there's always the .1%." Alice turned to me. "Correctly means you take the pill at the exact same time everyday. Have you done that?"

"No," I answered quietly while I shook my head. "I never thought of it. To me, those pills were just to keep my periods coming every four weeks. Nothing more."

"How badly were you taking them?"

"Not terribly. I would take it when I went to sleep, but the problem is sometimes I fell asleep at eight o'clock, and on the weekends, it could be as late as two A.M; and I guess I have skipped one here and there."

Alice turned back to the computer and read. "By doing that, you dropped the effective rate to somewhere between eighty-five and ninety percent."

I closed my eyes. So I wasn't as protected as I thought I was.

Alice stood up to hug me. "Cheer up, we don't know anything yet. And even if you are pregnant, we will get through this."

"But Edward… What will he do when he finds out?"

Alice shrugged, "I can't say for sure, but if he is the same Edward that I have always known and loved, he will accept that child as his own and love him or her. He's always wanted to be a father."

"Yeah, but not out of wedlock."

As if on cue, the bell of the timer went off, a sharp shrill in my ear. Alice took my hand, and let me to the bathroom. "Here goes nothing."

_We'll give thanks to You  
With gratitude  
For lessons learned in how to trust in You  
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream  
In abundance or in need  
And if You never grant us peace_

I closed my eyes as Alice grabbed the test from the counter and held it up so we could both see. Slowly I opened my eyes…

…And saw the two pink lines.

_But Jesus, would You please . . ._

_**A/N2: **__In case you are unfamiliar with pregnancy tests, the two pink lines mean the test is positive with the First Response tests._


	6. Chapter 6: Want To

**A/N: **_Sorry this is so long in coming… I'm balancing full-time school, working part-time, and being a wife :-P _

_Thank you all for your reviews, and the song in this chapter is "Want to" by Sugarland._

**Chapter 6: Want To**

_EPOV_

The day after Bella promised me to call, she kept her word. I was sitting outside, enjoying my lunch break when my cell phone rang. When I saw the caller I.D., I smiled.

"Hey Bella."

"Hey Edward." There was a moment of silence before she asked, "How are you?"

"Better now that you called." I could just picture her turning red on the other end of the phone. "How about you?"

I noticed she completely ignored the question when she immediately asked, "Can I see you today?"

I nodded as if she could see me. "Yeah. My shift gets off at seven. How about I come over afterwards?"

"No!" The vehement tone of her voice surprised me. I wonder what was behind it. She cleared her voice and added, "Why don't we meet for dinner somewhere?"

"Sure. Where would you like to meet?"

"How about that new Italian place, Angilo's?"

"Sounds good. You better give me a half hour or so to get there, though. I'll let you know if I'm running late for some reason."

"Okay." Bella paused for a moment, and I smiled as I could picture her biting her lower lip. "Bye, Edward."

"Bye."

I was ecstatic. For three weeks, I had been trying to talk to Bella, and she always found a way to avoid me. I wanted to apologize badly, to let her know that that night wasn't planned. I wanted to make sure that she was all right, and I mostly wanted to know that our friendship was all right.

Until this moment, it seemed as if it wasn't.

I had made the decision several days after the night that changed everything that I didn't want to live without Bella in my life. I wanted her more than a friend. That was nothing new, but after that night, I felt as if I needed her. I was willing to risk our friendship if it meant knowing that I could have a future with her. Soon I was dreaming about a big church wedding and a baby in her arms. I wanted a life with her.

The only trouble is, I still didn't know if she wanted a relationship like that. As far as I could tell, she didn't even want to be friends with me anymore. I deserved that, but I also knew deep down that our friendship was stronger than a night's mistake could ever be. We could work through this; we _had_ to.

Luckily, after Alice spent the night at Bella's place, my sister seemed to have forgiven me. She didn't go into any details about what she and Bella discussed, but she did tell me that Bella was okay and she wasn't seriously hurt.

I wondered what the "seriously hurt" meant.

Alice also reamed me out for not using protections, but added, "You're lucky that Bella is on the pill for health reasons. The last thing we need around here is another you running around."

I was stupid not to realize what the consequences of not using protection were. Obviously, I wasn't thinking about that, and I didn't have anything to use anyway. I let a sigh of relief leave me when Alice said that Bella was on the pill.

After all, the consequences of us sleeping together are only between Bella, Alice and me. I couldn't imagine the scandal that would erupt if there was _physical_ evidence in the form of a baby. I could just imagine ladies from the church sitting around, drinking lemonade and talking about the pastor's crazy son and the slutty youth minister.

Oh yeah. That would go over real well.

All afternoon, when I didn't have to focus on a patient, I was debating in my mind what I should tell Bella tonight.

I definitely needed to apologize. That was a no-brainer.

But should I ask about dating? Did she need more time? My face paled when I pondered the chances that she wanted to talk to break our friendship. She wouldn't do that, would she?

I tried not to think about Bella wanting to "break-up" so I focused on the possible future we had together. At least that would keep me happy for a little while.

_The whole world could change in a minute  
Just one kiss could stop it spinning  
We could think it through  
But I don't want to if you don't want to  
_

When I arrived at the restaurant, I saw that Bella's car was already parked and I could see her sitting in a booth by the window. I saw that the restaurant was pretty busy, but Bella was in a section that didn't seem to be populated.

I made my way to the corner booth where Bella was seated, looking down at the menu. I knew by her facial expression that she was in deep thought and probably didn't even register any of the words on the menu.

"Hi." I must have startled her because she looked up in shock. I leaned down to kiss her on the cheek before taking my seat across from her.

"Hi."

As minutes of silence passed between us, I tried desperately to read Bella's emotions in her eyes, but she kept shifting her sight between me and the menu. Finally I spoke to ask a generic question.

"Did you order your drink yet?"

She shook her head, "No, I was waiting for you."

"Did you want some wine?" I knew from the past that she liked a small glass of red wine with an Italian meal.

"No, I think I'll just have some water today." Was that a faint blush on her cheeks?

For the first time since arriving, I actually took her in. She looked different. Although I couldn't tell if she was wearing her usual jeans and sneakers, but instead of her usual T-shirt, she was wearing a feminine blouse. It was deep blue and looked absolutely beautiful against her fair skin. Her glasses were also gone. She must have been wearing contacts; something that I didn't even know she owned.

"I love your eyes." I didn't mean to say that thought out loud. Bella looked more surprised than I was.

"What?"

I cleared my throat before explaining, "You usually wear glasses. Your glasses fit you, but without them you can see your eyes so much more clearly. They're beautiful."

She instantly turned as read as a tomato. "Thank you."

Just then, the waitress appeared, and we both ordered our drinks and dinners. I decided just to have some soda since I didn't want to have wine alone. I don't know what it was about wine, but it always seemed as if you should be sharing a glass with a good friend.

After the waitress left, I figured it was as good as time as any to start the conversation that we both were dreading.

I waited until she was looking at me to begin. "I'm sorry about that night, Bella."

She looked perplexed. "Sorry?"

"I didn't mean to start anything. I didn't want you to think I had planned it or anything."

She gave me a small smile, "I know you would never do that, Edward. And like I told Alice that morning, it wasn't your entire fault."

"Still…" I paused to gather my words. "I still want you to know that I respect you and value your friendship. And…" The next part was hard to express. "I apologize if I took… I mean, I don't know much about your past, but I figured you were a…"

Bella stopped me with a serious look. "I wasn't a virgin, Edward."

"Oh." I didn't know what more to say. Well, I wanted to ask her more, but I thought that may be a little presumptive to think she wanted to share that with me.

"I've only had sex with one other guy, and that was back in High School. He was my boyfriend for three years." She continued her explanation, "It was before I became a Christian as well."

I nodded. As far as I was concerned, she might as well have been a virgin with that explanation.

"How about you?"

It took me a moment to register what her question referred to. "Just one woman. It was back in college. I dated a girl named Tanya throughout most of college."

She nodded, biting her lower lip.

Once more, there was silence. I continued to contemplate whether or not to discuss our future when I realized that it was now or never. Just as I was to begin, the waitress interrupted us with our drinks.

After we said our thank you's, I took a deep breath, preparing myself to go out on a limb and expose my feelings. But Bella beat me to speaking first.

"I'm pregnant, Edward."

_We could keep things just the same  
Leave here the way we came  
with nothing to lose  
But I don't want to if you don't want to_

_But I want to._


	7. Chapter 7: Small Enough

_**A/N:**__ Thank you for your reviews. You guys rock!_

_This chapter has some innocent political talk. Nothing major. Please don't beat me if you don't agree with it._

_The song is "Small Enough" by Nichole Nordeman._

**Chapter 7: Small Enough**

_BPOV_

"I'm pregnant, Edward."

It took all my strength to be able to say those three words. They were just three little words, but they had a lifetime of consequences. Years of changing diapers and of saving money, followed by years of more savings, while dishing out money for clothes, food, school supplies. Years of my time being monopolized by your child and years of paying babysitters if I wanted to go do something as simple as see a movie. I felt as if my life was just stolen from me, but it was nobody's fault except my own.

I saw the next year of disapproving looks from the congregation, the disgust that was barely showing on their expressions. I was the youth minister that failed at the simplistic task of waiting until marriage, and now would have a swollen belly to prove it.

On the other hand, I kept seeing flashes of a baby smiling, laughing, taking his first steps, saying his first words. And that baby had the beautiful green eyes of his father.

My musings were cut short with the arrival of our meals. This time, there was silence from us as the waitress walked away.

"Edward?" I was frightened of the way that he hadn't said anything in the past two minutes.

"I'm sorry," Edward shook his head as if to clear it. "I'm just shocked. Alice said that you were on the pill."

"I was. Unfortunately, I didn't feel the need to take it exactly as directed because to me it was something to keep me regular, not to protect against pregnancy."

There was silence again before he asked, "So what do we do now?"

I shrugged, "I guess we have two choices."

"Isabella Marie Swan, you are not aborting my baby!" Edward's face look shocked.

I gave him an angry look, "I thought you knew me better, Edward. I think it's murder and shouldn't even be legal, never mind would I ever be able to kill my own."

Edward took in my words before making his crooked grin that I loved so much. "That's right, life-long Republican would never dream of being pro-choice."

I rolled my eyes, "You know you're one, too. Besides, don't say that dirty word around me."

"I'm sorry," Edward smirked. "Life long Regan conservative."

"That's better," I smiled. "I'm still seething that McCain was able to pull off the nomination. Mitt Romney would have been a better choice." I never understood why there was such a backlash against him because of him being Mormon. As far as I was concerned, his political beliefs aligned with my own. "All that we have left is the chance of McCain picking a conservative vice-president." Edward looked as if he was about to burst out laughing, but I continued, "Have you heard of that Palin chick up in Alaska? I heard rumors that she was in the running. She would be perfect."

This time, Edward did not hold it in. His mirth spilled out of his lips as if I hadn't just disclosed that I was having his baby. I was actually relieved that we were able to fall back into our usual camaraderie. Not to mention, he didn't go off screaming as soon as I said I was pregnant. That was a good sign.

"In all seriousness, though, we need to discuss this little complication."

Edward's face turned serious to mirror my own. "You're right. So what were your two choices?"

I cleared my throat before explaining, "I have the baby either way, but either I keep him or her, or put him up for adoption."

"Why would you want to put him up for adoption?" Edward looked genuinely confused.

"Well, we aren't married, and I'm not even sure I'm ready to have a baby. I mean, I would have to give up my life. I'm not too proud to say that I'm too selfish right now."

"What about what I want?" Edward looked a little annoyed.

"Well, what do you want?"

"I want him... or her."

The past day and a half, my mind had gone back and forth between the two choices. At first, I was opting for adoption, but as a baby with green eyes made his way into my imagination, I was leaning more towards keeping him, even though I wasn't sure I was ready for a baby yet.

"You didn't even have time to think about it, Edward." I always played devil's advocate.

"I don't need to." His face was stern and I could tell his decision was made. "I don't care if we're married or not; this baby is ours and I know we could be good parents. There has to be a reason for God giving nine months of pregnancy. It helps the parents prepare."

I nodded. I could never go against his wishes; after all, it was his baby too. Somehow, though, I felt comfort at his words. He had a point. We _could_ be great parents; we would love the baby with all our hearts, and at least Edward had a great job. We would have no problem supporting the baby.

And once again, I pictured the green-eyed child and smiled. We could do this. I started to feel the mothering instinct grow inside of me and knew I would gladly give up anything for this child growing inside of me. Subconsciously, I put my hand to my belly.

I saw the Edward noticed my action and he knew that I had made up my mind as well. He reached across the table and grabbed my free hand that was resting near my plate.

"We can do this, Bella. I'm here and would never dream of leaving you alone."

"So what do we do now?"

He pondered my question for a little while before speaking again. "It may be best to tell Mom and Dad first. They will probably have advice."

I nodded. It made sense.

"I think we should do it, tonight, too. I doubt I would be able to hide that something else was going on in my life. Mom can read me like a book."

"Tonight?" Suddenly I had butterflies in my stomach that had nothing to do with pregnancy nausea. This wasn't just Edward's parents we were going to talk to; this was the pastor of the church.

"It's best. You know, like ripping off a band-aid."

I laughed at his analogy. "Okay. Tonight."

_Oh, Great God, be small enough to hear me now.  
There were times when I was crying from the dark of Daniel's den;  
And I have asked you once or twice if You would part the sea again.  
But tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky.  
Just want to know you're gonna hold me if I start to cry.  
Oh great God, be small enough to hear me now._

As I followed Edward to his parents' house, I began over-thinking our situation again. The next months, and probably even some years after that, would be difficult in the church. Don't get me wrong, the congregation was wonderful. They were supportive in so many ways, but I knew the kind of judgment they would be thinking every time they would see me. I had the same thoughts myself whenever I saw a young, pregnant girl without a wedding ring.

It was a natural reaction, but I felt like a hypocrite. Who am I to judge others for what I ended up doing myself? And I was a lucky one, at that. Who knows if those girls had the fathers standing by their side, supporting them? I had a great man who wanted this baby, no matter how he was conceived. He would be facing the judgment of the congregation as well for being the pastor's son. Carlisle and Esme will probably, too. What kind of parents were they to raise a man to have a baby out of wedlock?

With a start, I realized that my actions had a ripple effect. It wasn't just me they affected; this went much farther than how I was affected. I also knew that I had no choice but to hand in my resignation for my job. Members of the church could be very forgiving, but I knew that having a pregnant non-married youth minister was a very bad idea. I was in a place to be a role model for the young members of our church, and my condition was not modeling the best behavior.

Silently, I relayed these thoughts to God. I don't actually remember a time since that night that I had a conversation with Him. I would say those little prayers during meetings with my kids, and I would say grace before my meals, but I hadn't actually sat down and _talked._

_Oh great God, be close enough to feel You now.  
(Oh great God be close to me)_  
_There have been moments when I could not face Goliath on my own.  
And how could I forget we've march around our share of Jerichos.  
But I will not be setting out a fleece for You tonight.  
Just want to know that everything will be alright.  
Oh, great God, be close enough to feel You now._

Instantly, I felt a wave of calm envelope me. I knew God never left me, even though over the past day I refused to believe that he was with me. What kind of god would let me go through this?

I had his answer. I wasn't alone. Not only did I have Him and Edward, but I realized I had Alice who was there to hug me as I took five more positive pregnancy tests and cried and cried at the test results. I knew in my heart that I would have Edward's whole family, and even my parents to support me… I mean _us._

_All praise and all the honor be;  
To the God of ancient mysteries.  
Whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history.  
But tonight my heart is heavy,  
And I cannot keep from whispering this prayer.  
Are You there?_

I also knew from life experiences that this calm would not always be with me. I will have those moments where I felt alone and abandoned. However, I took this calm and embraced it for the moment of time that I had it.

As I pulled into the Cullens' driveway, I saw that Edward was waiting for me. Their house was beautiful. It was three stories with a porch around it. It was actually left by a wealthy couple to the church as the parsonage. They were very lucky to have such a beautiful house to live in.

Edward came to meet me at my car, and taking my hand he led me to the house. A tingle went down my spine as he interlocked our fingers.

"I talked to Mom. They are having dinner with a couple from the church, but will be home soon."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say.

As he pulled me through the front door, he let me to the piano that was directly to the right of the door. "I want to try something," he explained as he sat me down next to him on the piano bench.

I patiently waited while he fiddled around, finding the right notes. Then all of a sudden, as was his talent, the notes developed into a beautiful melody in a minor key. Although in a minor key, I wouldn't call it melancholy; it had more of a bittersweet tone to it. Edward could play with so much emotion, and it seemed as if he was truly putting his heart into the song. I felt tears come to my eyes.

As the melody ended, I commented, "That was beautiful. What song was it?"

"I just composed it. It's our baby's lullaby."

_Our_ baby.

I let the tears fall as I registered his words. I already hear the love in his voice as he talked about _our_ baby.

"Oh, Bella," Edward murmured as he wiped away my tears, but the tears just kept coming as I saw all the emotion in his eyes. There was worry; but even more than that, I saw joy and… _love._

When I didn't stop crying, he took me in his arms, hugging me closely. I sniffled as I snuggled my head into the crook of his neck. I felt him kiss my hair, and for the first time in a long while, I felt as if I were _home._

_And I know You could leave writing on the wall that's just for me.  
Or send wisdom while I'm sleeping, like in Solomon's sweet dreams.  
But I don't need the strength of Samson or a chariot in the end...  
Just want to know that You still know how many hairs are on my head.  
(Are you small enough?)  
Oh, great God, be small enough to hear me now._


	8. Chapter 8: What if I Stumble?

_**A/N: **__Thank you all for your reviews as always. They make me happy ___

_Song: "What if I Stumble?" by the great DC Talk._

**Chapter 8: What if I Stumble?**

_EPOV_

_The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today  
Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips  
Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.  
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable._

"Calm down," I whispered to Bella as we waited on the sofa. I had heard my parents' car pull into the driveway, and reluctantly pulled back from Bella to bring her to a chair. I could feel her heart racing, providing me the perfect excuse to grab her hand again.

_Is this one for the people?  
Is this one for the Lord?  
Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?  
You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains  
Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame_

Just hours before, Bella brought the biggest shock to me in my life: I was going to be a father. When I heard those words, shock, followed by fear coursed through my body. It couldn't be true. Wasn't the pill infallible?

Apparently not. And now we were going to have a baby to prove that.

We weren't ready to be parents. We weren't even in a relationship, for goodness sake! I was just getting settled into my career and Bella was still rather young. I was pushing thirty, but she still had the latter half of the twenties to enjoy.

However, as soon as Bella's tentative voice called out to me after our meals arrived, joy decided to override any other feeling I had. I was going to be a _father, _and Bella was going to be the baby's mother. I could just picture our baby with her expressive brown eyes.

We could be parents. We had plenty of love to shower on a baby. Even though I had just settled into my position at the hospital, I knew that the salary I earned was more than enough to take care of the baby _and_ Bella. We could even get married and make the family complete. I smiled at the prospect.

Financial issues would not be a problem. It wasn't as if we were young teenagers, either. We both were mature adults who could raise a baby, as frightening as the prospect sounded.

_Cause I see the trust in their eyes  
Though the sky is falling  
They need your love in their lives  
Compromise is calling_

The main problem I could foresee was the church's reaction to the news; and Dad's reaction ranked high on the list. This was the reason why Bella and I were seated on a couch, waiting for my parents to walk through the door.

_What if I stumble, what if I fall?  
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?  
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?  
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?_

I squeezed Bella's hand as the front door opened and my parents stepped in. My dad looked serious and worried, wondering what we had to share. Mom, on the other hand, gave us a big smile and rushed over to give both of us a hug and a kiss. I saw her eyes look at our hands clasped in a tight hold, and I could practically read her thoughts. She was hoping that her son finally found somebody to spend the rest of his life with.

Well, she was probably right, but I'm sure she will be shocked to find out what the catalyst was in bringing Bella and I together.

I really needed to stop getting ahead of myself. I was here, planning our perfect life together, forgetting that Bella might not even want to be with me romantically. I frowned at the thought.

"So what is so important that we must talk at nine at night?" Dad asked as he sat down. I knew him enough that he wasn't angry at the time of night, but worried that something was wrong.

"Well, you see sir," Bella began. Dad raised his eyebrows at the formal way Bella addressed him. "I'm in a predicament."

My parents waited patiently for her to continue.

"I'm pregnant."

The reactions from my parents were exactly as I imagined them. Dad wiped two hands down his face and Mom made an expression that simply said "Oh." A moment of silence passed before my dad began again.

"Who's the father?" he asked.

Like everybody, my dad has plenty of faults. However, being dense usually was not one of his. I stared at him in shock before answering.

_Father please forgive me for I can not compose  
The fear that lives within me  
Or the rate at which it grows  
If struggle has a purpose  
On the narrow road you've carved  
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar?_

I cleared my throat without saying a word. It was times like these when being in front of my father made me feel like a child who just broke a window with a baseball.

"I don't know what to say." A loss of words usually was not one of Dad's faults either. He always had a reaction or something calming to say. "I didn't even know you two were a couple."

"We're not," I clarified. That didn't help matters. An expression of anger passed over Dad's face before it settled into an expression I could not recognize.

"Sir, I understand the consequences of this, and I fully intend to resign my position as the youth minister." I heard the sadness in Bella's voice and was shocked at what she said, but it made sense. An unwed pregnant youth minister wasn't exactly the best role model for impressionable teenagers.

Dad waved his hand to dismiss her words, "Of course you have to, but that isn't important right now. We'll talk about that later. Right now I would like to know what happened. Have you two been a couple for long?"

This was not going to go over well. I shook my head.

"How long?"

"Um," I began like a deer in headlights, "One night." I looked over at Bella who was beet red and looking down at her lap.

_Do they see the fear in my eyes?  
Are they so revealing?  
This time I cannot disguise  
All the doubt I'm feeling_

If Dad was the type to spontaneously combust, he would be in flames right now. "I… I… don't know what to say."

As silence settled over the four of us I glanced over at Mom who had not said anything the whole time. She was staring at the floor, but had a slight smile on her face. I am sure that somewhere deep inside, she was extremely disappointed, but I knew what was really going on in her head. She was dying to be a grandmother, and she absolutely melted around babies. Naturally, she probably thought that Alice or Emmett would be the first to give her a baby to spoil, but she was ready to accept any chance she got at being a grandma.

Finally Dad spoke again. "What's the plan, then?"

Bella answered this time, "We're going to keep him or her."

"And you have thought about putting him up for adoption?" I knew that Dad wasn't trying to convince us to do that. He just cared enough to make sure we were doing what we really wanted to.

"We have," Bella acknowledged.

"Anything beyond that?" Mom finally spoke. I saw in her eyes what she was hoping to hear. Another wedding in her opinion would be perfect. I knew she adored Bella and would not mind having her as a daughter-in-law.

"No," Bella blushed as she shook her head. I wanted desperately to know what she was thinking. Was she hoping for a wedding, too?

Mom stood up and came over to hug and kiss both of us again. "It's okay, kids. We're here for you." As she straightened, she held out her hand to Bella. "Come, Bella, I have some great herbal tea. It will help calm you."

I watched as Mom led Bella to the kitchen with her arm around her. I knew without a doubt that Mom would be the emotional support that Bella needed throughout the pregnancy. Alice, of course, would be too, but I had a feeling her specialty would be outfitting the baby.

As the women left, I turned back to my father. "Dad, I know you're angry, but…"

_What if I stumble, what if I fall?  
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?  
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?  
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?_

He cut me off with a wave of the hand, "Son, I'm not so much angry as disappointed. I thought you had better sense than that."

I bowed my head, "I'm sorry."

"What happened?" Dad's face softened as he saw the disappointment of myself on my own face.

"I don't know, Dad. It's just, for the past two years, I've loved Bella, and she was leaving after we all got together one night, and it just happened."

"How does she feel about you?"

"I don't know."

"You're having a baby together, and you don't even know how she feels about you?" His face took on a confused expression.

"For the past weeks since it's happened, she has been avoiding me," I explained. "She only found out she was pregnant yesterday, and just told me a couple of hours ago. I guess we didn't go into details yet."

Dad nodded as he absorbed my words. As he sat silently, I brought my idea to him quietly so Bella couldn't hear. "I was thinking about marrying her." He didn't comment. "What do you think?"

He took a deep breath before answering, "Edward, you know I think the best place for a child to be raised is within a family where the parents are married." I nodded. "That being said, I do not think a baby is reason to rush into marriage. The Bible says that in a marriage, your spouse is the most important relationship you have to nurture, more so than your children. Entering into a marriage because of a baby is already throwing the family's structure off kilter."

It made sense. "Without a strong relationship between a husband and a wife, the relationship between parents and their children can be affected," Dad continued.

"But what if I love her?"

"First of all, you need to ascertain _her_ feelings for you. Second of all, love isn't all you need, Edward. You know that. A marriage is also made of friendship, mutual understanding, and a commitment. I think you'd quickly find that you may love somebody for all your life, but it doesn't mean you always _like_ them. If you hit one of those rough patches, without having a steady relationship before marriage, you may give up before you even had a chance to turn it around." I opened my mouth to say that Bella and I _did_ know each other, but Dad again raised his hand to stop me. "I know what you are thinking; you do know each other _as friends._ But do you know each other as future mates?" He paused before continuing, "I can't make the decision for you, Edward. And obviously, I do not know what the extent of your relationship is with Bella. You need to think this through before doing anything, and for goodness sakes, Edward," he stopped and smirked, "do _not_ go over-romantic and propose to her like you've been talking about marriage for a year and she just didn't know when it would happen. You'll scare her. You need to talk with her first. If you don't, you just may be setting yourself up for disappointment." I nodded, taking all his advice in. "Whatever you do, Edward, your mother and I will be here to help you."

I asked another question that had been burning on my mind, "What about the church's reaction?"

Dad shrugged, "I don't know, Edward. They won't know for a while, depending on how soon Bella shows. Whatever you two do, though, whenever you are attending the same function, you must be together as much as possible when permitted. The last thing people need to think is that it was a one night stand without emotions involved. It would make matters worse if they think you weren't facing this together."

I nodded. I had absolutely no problem with that. I did have one question though. "How long did it take Mom to show?"

Dad let out an unexpected laugh. "It seemed only two or three months; but remember, she was also carrying three of you." He paused before continuing, "Edward, you're a doctor, you know it varies from person to person."

I stopped to picture the pregnant women I have seen to figure out when Bella would show. She has a short torso, which means that the baby would have nowhere to go except out, but it also depended on where her uterus was. It may sound weird, but I actually couldn't wait until I saw a baby bump.

Just as I started to day dream again, Mom and Bella came out of the kitchen. Immediately I stood to go to Bella's side. "Are you ready to go now?"

Bella nodded before turning to my parents. "Thank you," was all she said.

Immediately Mom was by her side again and giving Bella a big hug. "Sweetie, if you need anything, you know where I am."

Dad stood to give Bella a hug, as well. "Thank you for telling us sooner rather than later. We'll help you figure everything out."

I could tell from Bella's expression that she truly appreciated his words. I didn't know exactly what Bella would expect from my father, but it seemed from her expression as if he experience exceeded her expectations.

"I'm going to get going as well," I told my parents. "I have to work tomorrow."

After we said our good-byes, I grabbed Bella's hand to lead her to her car. We didn't speak as we walked, but when we reached her car, I turned to face her. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

She shook her head, "No, but I am still worried about what will happen."

I reached to brush some hair out of her face. "It will all work out," I promised. I thought it best to lighten the mood, so I asked, "What's with your change of clothing style?"

Bella looked confused for a second before she laughed, "Oh, Alice thought that I should look more like a mother to let you know I was going to be one."

I chuckled. "It sounds like she was trying to come up with an excuse to dress you. I don't think it quite matters what you dress like."

She shrugged. "Yeah, but maybe it is time to start dressing a little more maturely. I've had that style since I was in high school."

"Oh Bella," I said while cupping her cheek, "you don't need to change for anybody, especially something as trivial as clothing."

I was surprised to see tears coming into her eyes, so I enveloped her in a hug. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she sniffled. "It's just you accept me as I am."

I pulled back to gaze at her face. "Honey, we all do."

She just sniffled in response.

"I better let you get going. You need some rest." I leaned down to kiss her on the cheek, even though I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her properly.

I reluctantly pulled back and opened her door for her. "I'll call you tomorrow after work."

Bella nodded as she climbed into her Jeep. "Good night, Edward."

"Good night." I closed her door and stepped back as she started the engine. I watched as she drove away out of my sight. _I love you._


	9. Chapter 9: Would You Go with Me?

_**A/N: **__Thank you for all your reviews as always. I jump up and down everytime I see there is a review in my email._

_Song is "Would You go with Me" by Josh Turner._

**Chapter 9: Would You Go with Me?**

_BPOV_

I slept until noon the next day. The previous night, I barely slept as I tossed and turned in my bed, thinking about the pregnancy. Last night, I was a lot more relaxed after I talked to Edward and his parents. As nervous as I still was, I felt confident that everything will be all right.

I picked myself out of my bed and into the kitchen to have some breakfast. I fixed myself some eggs, turkey sausage and whole wheat toast as I downed my pre-natal vitamin with some orange juice. I usually kept breakfast simple with a bowl of cereal, but I was trying to eat more lean protein to support my baby.

I barely got down two bites before the nausea hit me. Quickly, I ran into the bathroom and vomited. This was one part of the pregnancy that I wasn't looking forward to. I wished I was part of the 50% of women who didn't have morning sickness, but it looked as if I wasn't going to be so lucky. Hopefully, though, I won't be one of those women who got sick all day throughout most of her pregnancy.

After a few minutes of rest, I went back to the kitchen to have another attempt at eating my breakfast. Luckily, it seemed as if I were to only get sick once. After my breakfast was cleaned up, I began cleaning my apartment, something I did most Saturdays.

Around three o'clock, I was vacuuming when I saw my front door open and Alice slip in.

"What are you doing?" she greeted as she ran to unplug the vacuum cleaner.

"Um… vacuuming?"

Alice's eyes looked appalled. "You're pregnant! You shouldn't be doing things like that."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm pregnant, not an invalid. I already did some research, and experts say that it is important to continue physical exercise."

"But you might hurt yourself!" Alice argued.

"Alice, I practically hurt myself every day just by getting out of bed. You know how clumsy I am."

My best friend let out a huff as she sat down on the couch. "Whatever."

"How was work?"

"Busy. But I had several clients who let me do anything I wanted to their hair," she grinned.

"Did they run screaming?"

"Nah. They were a bit shocked, but I think they'd grow to like it."

"So is there a reason besides trying to keep me bedridden that you came here?"

Alice pouted, "Can't I visit just because I want to?"

"Of course, you can," I grinned. "I just see in your eyes that you want to talk about something."

My friend grinned mischievously. "Edward seemed happy enough last night."

"Yeah. He took it rather well, actually."

"Of course he did! I told you that you didn't have anything to worry about!" She paused before continuing, "I heard you had a talk with Mom, too."

I smiled, "Your mom is so great. She assured me that she would be there for us, and she has plans of digging your baby albums."

"Mom is just ready to be a grandma. She's probably jumping up and down just thinking of how to spoil the baby before he or she is even born."

"I had a feeling she was secretly happy about this."

"Oh believe me, she is. She'd just rather it happened with…" Alice trailed off, stopping herself before she said something that would upset me.

"I know," I bowed my head. "So do I."

"What's done is done, though," Alice concluded. "So now all we have to do is plan!" She was rummaging in her huge purse before she pulled out a catalogue. "So, I have already narrowed down the cribs to three…"

"Alice! What are you doing?" I knew Alice was a shopaholic, but I didn't think she would be this bad. By my best estimation, I was only five weeks along, since the week of my last period was considered the beginning of the pregnancy. I needed to make a pre-natal appointment before I would be sure. In my opinion, it was way too early to be shopping for the baby.

"Shopping for the baby, silly!" Alice was practically bouncing in her seat. "You could never start too early!" I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Oh come on, Bella! You know you're excited now that you've accepted it! Just humor me and look at baby products with me!"

She was right; I was getting excited. Although I wasn't sure I was ready, I was a sucker for little babies. If I got the chance, I would hold every baby that crossed my path. I sat down next to her as she continued to ramble.

"We obviously don't know if it's a boy or girl yet, but we can pick out gender neutral products until then. The nursery would be a great place to start. Oh! Speaking of the nursery, where is it going to be?"

I didn't think of that. I was stumped. I was only living in a one bedroom apartment. I probably needed to upgrade to a two bedroom, but now I was going to be looking for another job. _Another job. Oh no. What am I going to do? How am I going to live?_ I felt a panic attack coming on as my lungs started to constrict. I tried to stop it, knowing stress couldn't be good for the baby.

"Bella! What's wrong?"

"I just realized I will be out of a job, and I don't have enough money to pay rent for a one bedroom, never mind a two bedroom apartment," I blurted out as if the sentence was one big word.

"Calm down, Bella," Alice took my hand. "Everything will be okay. I was actually thinking where the nursery would be in Edward's house."

"Edward's house? Why?"

Alice shrugged and looked shocked that I hadn't thought of what she did. "I assumed you'd just move in together. Not like _move in_ together, but live in the same house. Wouldn't it be easier that way?"

I looked at Alice in surprise. Live with Edward? It _did_ make sense; it would make things easier to deal with, but honestly, I couldn't imagine living in the same house with him and not be _together._ There was obviously sexual tension between us, and I didn't know how long we would last living in such close quarters.

I shook my head, and answered, "I honestly don't know, Alice."

She shrugged as she looked back down at the catalogue, "Oh well. We have time to figure things out; but it doesn't mean we can't pick out furniture! Look at this cute Noah's Ark lamp!"

I laughed as Alice started talking about what type of furniture would be best and what type of motif the nursery should have. Alice was awesome at calming me down. By time five minutes passed, I had forgotten all about my almost-panic attack.

Two hours passed before I realized my stomach was trying to tell me it needed nourishment. I suggested to Alice that I either cook something or order in.

"Sounds great," Alice commented, still looking at a catalogue, "but Edward told me to tell you to put off dinner."

"But I'm hungry!" I wasn't usually a whiner, but I excused my behavior with all the hormones flowing through my body.

"So," Alice shrugged. "Have a snack. I'm heading out to dinner with Jasper anyway. I'm trying to get all of us together to have another movie or game night tonight. How does that sound?"

I smiled at the idea. It seemed like it had been a long time since we had one of those; probably since the night Edward and I slept together. "That sounds great."

"Do you mind if we have it at your place? I have wedding things scattered all over the place at my house."

I shrugged, "That's all right with me. After all, I just cleaned."

"Great!" Alice jumped up suddenly. "I need to go get ready for my date. You probably need to take a shower and get ready for Edward, as well."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Do you know what he's up to?"

"Maybe," she smirked. "And all I am going to tell you is that I give you permission to dress very casually."

I gasped in mock-shock. "You mean… I can be myself?"

"Ha ha. Very funny." She started walking towards the door. "I'll see you later, Bella."

"Bye."

_If I gave you my hand would you take it  
And make me the happiest man in the world?  
If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without you, girl  
Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea,  
Let me know if you're really a dream?  
I love you so, so would you go with me?_

Two hours later, I finished cleaning the apartment and ate a huge salad for a snack. I also had taken a shower and slipped on a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt. I didn't even bother to dry my hair. I wondered in the back of my mind whether or not Alice meant for me to dress _this_ casually.

I was lounging around, reading a book, when there was a knock on my door. Opening it, I saw Edward with two huge grocery bags in his arms and his infamous crooked smile on his face.

I couldn't help but smile as I let him in the door. His appearance just made my day. I think I may have still been in shock that he didn't run away after I told him about the pregnancy.

"How was your day?" I asked as I followed him into my kitchen.

"Good. Nothing exciting happened." He turned his head to answer me as he put the grocery bags on the counter. One by one, he started to take out different ingredients.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I pulled myself up to sit on the counter.

"Cooking you dinner." He started to look through different cabinets and drawers to orient himself with my small kitchen.

"Why?"

Edward chuckled as he moved to facet me. "Because I want to."

"You've never done this before."

"There's always a first time for everything. Besides, I have to make sure you are eating well. You need to make sure you eat enough protein and take in enough of vitamins, especially folic acid."

I rolled my eyes. "What do you think I'm doing? Pigging out on potato chips and ice cream?" Now that I said that, those foods actually sounded good… together. Mmm.

"I didn't say that." Edward's face became serious as he stopped closer to me and put his hand on my stomach. I took a sharp intake of air as I felt his hand on me, even though it was through fabric. "I just want to make sure this little guy get his nourishment, as well as his mother. I don't need her to be fainting or anything like that."

With the last statement, Edward placed his other hand on my cheek and with the additional touch, tingles ran down my spine. I do not know what came over me, but suddenly, I was silently wishing for Edward to close the gap and kiss me. I hadn't felt attraction this strong to him since the evening this all started, and I wondered if he felt it too. I looked in his green eyes and searched, hoping to see desire in his eyes; however, there were so many emotions, I could not decipher them all.

My heart rate quickened as he leaned forward, but I was quickly disappointed when he gave me a chaste kiss on my cheek, instead. I inwardly sighed as he turned around to start preparing the food.

"Can I help?"

"Sure. There are some onions that need to be chopped." Edward indicated two onions already on a cutting board.

"Ooh! I get to use my chopper from Pampered Chef!" I jumped off the counter and quickly found the chopper in a cabinet while Edward chuckled at me.

"You know you are growing up when you get excited about kitchen accessories," he teased as he continued washing some green vegetable that I could not recognize.

"What is that?"

"Broccoli rabe."

I scrunched my nose as I sliced into the onion. Already I felt the tears build in my eyes. "What are you making, anyway?"

"Chicken on a bed of spinach fettuccine and broccoli rabe. It provides protein, carbohydrates, fiber, and plenty of vitamins."

I shook my head and asked, "Are you going to be extremely over-protective of me? Alice already came and yelled at me for vacuuming." Tears were falling down my cheeks steadily now as I chopped the onions.

"I'm not going to be that bad." He turned towards me and saw the tears falling down my cheeks. A look of panic came across his face and asked in a hurry, "What's wrong? Did I say something wrong? Did you cut yourself?" Instantly he was by my side, stopping my actions and forcing my face to look at him.

I burst out laughing at his expression. It was really sweet that he was so worried about me, but I knew this was all over some tears caused by the onions. "I'm fine," I chuckled. "I always just have a severe reaction to onions."

"Oh thank goodness," he exclaimed as he pulled me into a hug. "I was so worried."

I continued laughing into his chest as I wrapped my arms around him. _Why have I never noticed he smelled this good?_

Reluctantly, I pulled back and reminded him that we need to fix dinner. It didn't really take that long, and within forty-five minutes, we were seated at my kitchen table, enjoying our creation. I was pleasantly surprised at all the flavor one forkful could provide.

Our conversation over dinner was lighthearted. We most always had something to talk about, even if it was sharing stories about his patients or my youth group kids doing or saying silly things. During the times that we didn't have much to say, the silence was never awkward. Even today, the day after informed Edward of our impending parenthood, nothing seemed to have changed our friendship.

As we sat at the table, I couldn't help thinking that I would not complain if every night for the rest of my life was like this. Of course, next to me, there would be a high chair with the green-eyed child sat, making a mess with his baby food. After dinner, we would clean the kitchen of any evidence of the meal and sit with our child in the living room while watching TV or reading. We would put the baby to sleep soon after that, and then as soon as he was asleep, we could…

I could feel my cheeks redden as inappropriate images flashed through my mind. I was awoken from my day dream by Edward's voice calling my name.

"Bella?" I looked up to see his smiling face looking at me. "Is your head up in the clouds?"

I blushed and looked down as I nodded, but Edward only gave a little chuckle before suggesting that we go sit in the living room.

"But what about the dishes?"

"I'll get them later." He stood up and offered me his hand. "Come on."

Instead of leading me to the sofa, he sat down on the recliner and pulled me down on his lap. Since we were friends, little signs of affection like hugs and chaste pecks on the cheek weren't uncommon, but the past two days, Edward had had shown more affection than ever. I wasn't complaining, but I also wondered why he was doing so. Did he feel something more for me, or was it just because I was pregnant?

We sat in silence for a while. I had seated myself so that my head rested on his shoulder and he began playing with my hair. I had a feeling that he wanted to discuss something, but I wasn't going to push him until he was ready. A few minutes later, Edward cleared his throat and began with a question that I had no idea how to answer.

"What about us?"

"What do you mean?" I asked for clarification. I didn't know what kind of answer he wanted.

"What do we do with us? We're having a baby, but aren't even together romantically. What do you want to do?" Edward's voice lacked the confidence that he usually had.

So what did I want? Right now, my emotions were all over the place. I was relieved that our friendship remained the same, and I came to realize that I definitely had at least _some_ romantic inclination towards Edward. But what if we tried, and it didn't work out? Where would that put us with the added complication of a baby? I sighed inwardly as I realized I was calling the baby a complication. He wasn't a complication; he was a gift no matter how upside down my life was thrown because of his or her existence.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" I finally answered.

Edward sighed and pinched his nose, "Bella, we are not five years old; you must have some thought without me informing you what my desire is."

I nodded, knowing he had a point. But how do I express my feelings to him?

"I…" I paused to gather my thoughts. "I honestly don't know _what _I want to do. I realized that I _do_ feel something more than friendship for you." I could have sworn that I saw his lips curl into a slight smile at my disclosure, and I immediately felt some butterflies in my stomach. "But, Edward, what happens if it doesn't work out? Where does it put us with the baby in the picture?"

"There always is a risk," he agreed, "but do you think it's worth the risk?"

I thought back to my fantasy I had during dinner. If it did work, we _could_ have a wonderful life together. If we didn't, our baby would grow up with two parents who very possibly could be married to two other people. Was it worth the risk?

"Yes."

The simple answer made Edward's face light up in the biggest smile that I had seen on him. He grabbed my head and pulled me to him, kissing me soundly on the lips. It wasn't passionate or romantic or anything that would set off fireworks; it was just _joyful_. I could feel him smile against my lips and I couldn't help but to smile as well.

It definitely was worth the risk.


	10. Chapter 10: 17 Magazine

_**A/N: **Song: "17 Magazine" by Relient K_

**Chapter 10: 17 Magazine**

_Talked to my sister late last night  
She gave me some advice  
And what she said was right_

_Talked to my sister late last night  
Said I've got her on my mind  
She said it's good I know my kind  
And this time maybe she's just the one you need_

_Keep taking your time  
You shouldn't go for her full speed  
And maybe this time  
Maybe she's just the one you need  
'Cause I know that I've never seen  
your motives more squeaky clean  
And my 17 Magazine tells me that you're in love_

I waited impatiently outside of the church's doors for Bella to arrive. I wondered if she ever made it out of bed after I called her two hours ago. The night prior, I had put her to bed after my siblings had left. Prior to that, Bella had been sleeping, curled up in my lap.

I didn't think I could get any happier. Bella had agreed to attempt a romantic relationship with me. However, I didn't think of it as an _attempt_, rather I _knew_ we could make it work. We already were close friends and had a sexual attraction towards each other. What we needed to make it work was dedication and a commitment.

I took a look at my watch and knew Bella had plenty of time before the service began, but I was just impatient to see her if I had to be honest with myself. Since I knew that Bella and I were together, I was anxious to be with her again. I felt like a schoolboy again.

Luckily, I was able to stay distracted most of the time as the congregation members started pouring into the church. I tried to greet most of them, and of course, some stopped for small-talk. Although they were very friendly and great people, I wondered how they would react once they found out that Bella was having my baby. I winced at the idea.

Finally, I saw her Jeep cruising through the entrance and into a parking spot. As she climbed out of it, I noticed she was back to wearing her typical clothing and glasses. I caught her eye as she walked towards the church and she gave me a big smile.

I didn't have a reason to do so, but for a moment I dreaded that she regretted her decision to try a relationship with me, so I was relieved to realize that she was happy to see me.

"Hey Edward," she greeted as she walked closer to me.

"Good morning, Bella."

Just as I was about to offer her my hand, Bella tripped over the curb as she was apt to do. Luckily for her, I managed to catch her around her waist before she hit the concrete. I chuckled as she straightened herself while she blushed.

"You really have to watch where you walk, Bella."

"Oh stop it, Edward!" she playfully punched me. "You know I can't help it, no matter how much I am paying attention to where I am going."

My smile became larger as I grabbed her by her waist ad pulled her closer to me. Leaning down, I whispered in her hair, "You're really beautiful when you're frustrated."

"Edward, people will stare at us."

"I don't care," I retorted as I gave her a kiss on the cheek. However, I reluctantly released myself from her. "But we do need to go inside before the service starts."

As we walked hand in hand into the building, we were stopped multiple times, whether it be from one of Bella's youth students, or from a bold church member who witnessed how Bella ad I were acting as a couple.

Sometimes they were one in the same. I laughed when I heard one of Bella's high school students whisper, "Edward Cullen? You are so lucky!" Bella looked back anxiously to see if I heard her student. When she saw my laughter, she blushed a deeper red than the color that already tinted her cheeks.

Hand-in-hand, we finally made it into the sanctuary where we sat in the front row with the rest of my family.

"Hey you guys," Alice greeted with a big smile on her face.

Emmett's laugh followed as he greeted rather loudly, "Well if it isn't the happy couple who are expecting their first…"

Emmett would have continued if Rosalie didn't smack his head. That's what I loved about Rosalie. She was stubborn and tough enough to take on my boisterous brother.

"Ow!" Emmett patted the back of his head. "All I was going to say is that they were expecting their first Cullen Sunday dinner as a couple."

"Right." Rosalie rolled her eyes.

Dad gave Emmett a stern look before turning to me and raising his eyebrows. He looked down at Bella's and my clasped hands before looking at my face again. I nodded, knowing that he was asking if I ascertained Bella's feelings towards me. I noticed Mom now had a huge smile on her face as she watched us.

We settled down in our seats as Dad stood up to start the service.

All during the service, I attempted to remain focused on the scripture and Dad's sermon, but my mind and eyes were always drawn to Bella. I found myself lost again in fantasies of us as husband and wife with not only the child she was carrying now, but two other children. I had to keep reminding myself that Bella might not be thinking about marriage and life together yet. After all, she only said that she wanted to _try_ a relationship.

As I was looking at Bella, I saw Alice silently laughing at me from the corner of her eye. She had caught me in the act of not paying attention to church while staring at Bella. I grinned back at her before finally turning my attention back to my dad. I had a feeling that I was going to get teased mercilessly later.

"Edward and Bella sittin' in the tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G," Alice chanted as Alice, Jasper, and I piled into my car after the dinner at my parents' house.

I couldn't remember having a better time at dinner than today, even when Bella did join us previously. I suspected it had something to do with being able to hold her hand under the table while she snuck loving glances at me. I observed that even my father was extremely happy for us; and Mom… Well, I was convinced she had a permanent smile plastered to her face. Even Emmett's jabs at our impending parenthood could not break the mood, although they earned many glares from my parents and slaps from Rose. However, I believe that it was Mom who finally who put him down a notch when she started implying that she wanted a grandchild from him and Rose soon, as well.

He was quiet after that.

We were not on our way back to Alice's and my house while Bella followed in her own car. As soon as we were out of ear-shot, Alice began teasing me.

"First comes love, then comes marriage… Oops. I mean first comes baby in the baby carriage, then comes love, then comes marriage," Alice poorly tried to create another rhythm with her rearrangement of the words.

"Seriously, Alice. What is your age again?" I glanced back at her in the rear-view mirror.

"Hmm," She pursed her lips as she twirled a piece of hair with her finger. "Twelve?"

I glanced over to the passenger seat and pretended to whisper, "Jasper, are you sure you want this for the rest of your life?"

"Hey!" my sister exclaimed, reaching over to slap my shoulder. "I resent that."

Jasper smiled while he reached for Alice's hand to give her a kiss. "I'm definitely sure."

Not much could cause my sister to blush very easily, but I noticed that whenever Jasper declared his love for her, even in the smallest way, blood would rush to her face. I truly was happy that my sister found a good man to spend the rest of her life with. She obviously was deeply in love.

My sister quickly snapped out of her embarrassment and began taunting me again. "So, Eddie, are you going to sleep with her again before marriage? Hmm?"

"Alice! I'm not discussing that with you!"

She shrugged, "I mean, you already have a bun in the oven, there isn't much else that would stop you two from doing it again. Or are you going to turn pure and wait until marriage?"

"Alice!"

Jasper rolled his eyes and spoke for his fiancée, "She's just trying to live vicariously through you, Edward. She's just sexually frustrated since she has five more months."

"Jazz!" she screeched, hitting him this time. "How could you?"

He reached over to pat her knee. "I'm just kidding, honey. I really can't blame you if you are. I am, too."

Oh man. The expressions on their faces made me want to get out of the car quickly. I didn't mind sex coming up in the conversation, but not if it involved my sister.

"Okay, guys. Seriously, there's a brother in the car."

Luckily, they snapped out of it and Alice became serious again. "Edward, what are you going to do about marriage and all that?"

"I've thought about it," I began. "Dad made a good point, though. Pregnancy is not a reason to run into marriage; not when your spouse is supposed to be the most important in the family unit."

"But you guys would be," Alice argued. "You two love each other, don't you?"

I sighed, "I do, but Bella never used those words with me."

"She does," my sister responded, convinced. "Do you not see how she looks at you? She may not even realize it yet, but she definitely loves you."

"How can you be sure?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "I'm a woman, Edward. We know these things."

"But, don't you think it would be a little too early to bring up marriage?"

"Geez, Edward. I'm not going to make the decision for you. You're a big boy; you can do it yourself. Do you want to marry her?" I nodded my head. "Then the least you can do is talk about it with her. She won't run away from you even if she isn't ready for marriage yet. She wants you too much in her life for that."

As we pulled into my driveway, and I looked back to see Bella pulling in behind me, I knew there was only one thing to do. I was going to put myself out on a limb and talk to Bella. What's the worse thing that could happen?


	11. Chapter 11: Fireflies

_**A/N: **__Song: "Fireflies" by Faith Hill_

**Chapter 11: Fireflies**

_Before you met me I was a fairy princess  
I caught frogs and called them prince  
And made myself a queen  
Before you knew me I traveled 'round the world  
I slept in castles and fell in love  
Because I was taught to dream_

_  
I found mayonnaise bottles and poked holes on top  
To capture Tinkerbelle  
They were just fireflies to the untrained eye  
But I could always tell_

I believe in fairytales and 

_Dreamers' dreams like bed sheet sails  
And I believe in Peter Pan and miracles  
And anything I can to get by…_

_  
And fireflies_

I sighed in contentment as Edward and I cuddled on the couch. A while back, Alice and Jasper disappeared to the back porch to spend some time alone, and Edward and I decided to watch a movie; but I honestly was not following it. I was too enthralled with the feeling of being close to Edward. To make it even better, he would occasionally lean down to kiss my head, cheek, or sometimes even my neck. Not to mention, he continuously kept one hand on my stomach, as if protecting the baby that grew inside me.

I was still in awe at how quickly these feelings for Edward surfaced. One moment, I was sure all I felt towards Edward was friendship; the next, I was picturing a future with him. I began to wonder whether I just learned to repress any feelings I had for him. It wasn't the first time that I thought that I wasn't good enough for him.

I glanced up and took in his beautiful features. His hair was always perfectly mussed, as if he had just awoken from sleep. His eyes were an emerald green, and his strong face could only be construed as sinfully handsome. Edward was extremely intelligent and musically talented, and his love for his job and the children he treated overflowed from his being.

And then there was me. I wasn't ugly, but I wasn't beautiful either. I was extremely pale, no matter the season, and my features were not striking. I wasn't tiny, either. I was thin, but my frame wouldn't allow me to go below a size six before looking sickly. I often joked that at least my hips were meant for child-bearing.

My hair wasn't special. It was a dark brown, almost black, and was extremely fine. This was the only reason why I kept my hair short, although I was attempting to grow it out again.

So what was I doing with such a handsome man?

I sighed, and at the sound, Edward tightened his hold on me.

As the credits rolled on the movie, Edward reached to turn the TV off and turned towards me. I knew he wanted to say something by the expression on his face.

"What?"

"I was wondering if you found an OB/GYN yet."

I shook my head. "I only went to a general practitioner to confirm I was pregnant. I haven't looked for on OB yet."

He shook his head, "You need to, you know."

"I know," I sighed. "It's just… it's an important decision, and I don't know where to start."

"Well, I have a friend at the hospital who is wonderful at what she does. If you want, I could make an appointment for you. That way, I could take my lunch break at the same time and be with you."

I smiled as he told me he wanted to be at the appointment. "Okay."

After I agreed to the appointment, Edward shifted so that he was sitting straight, and indicated to me that I should do the same. I looked at him questionably as he turned to face forward and take my hand.

"Bella there is something I have been meaning to talk to you about." He lazily drew circles on the back of my hand. "You don't need to make a decision now, but I want you to at least think about it."

"Okay?" I was wondering what made him so serious all of a sudden. "What is it?"

"I was thinking about marriage."

_Marriage? Was he serious? _"Edward, I don't know what to say. I don't…" I paused and bit my bottom lip. "I don't want a shotgun wedding."

"It wouldn't be," he shook his wedding.

"It sure sounds like one to me. We'd be getting married because I am pregnant." I _had_ thought about it, but the way that everybody was reacting, I thought nobody expected us to "make it right." Esme and I had even talked a little about it the night we told his parents.

"No, it wouldn't," Edward shook his head. "We are not teenagers who are being forced by their parents to do this. We are two adults that could provide a loving home for the baby."

"It still sounds like you are trying to make an 'honest woman' out of me." I was actually a bit angry at his implication. Not to mention, I did not want him to feel indebted as if he was doing a favor for me.

He shrugged, "In a way, I am." My expression must have shown some of my anger because he quickly continued, "But I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to, Bella. I wouldn't enter into marriage without _wanting_ to."

He wanted to. What exactly did that mean?

"Why do you want to?"

"Because…" he paused to think about his words. "Because, I care for you more than you know, and you are my best friend."

There was silence between us before he asked me what I was thinking.

"I'm thinking about how screwed up this is." His face suddenly fell as if what I said hurt him. "I don't mean that how it sounded. I guess there was always a bit of little girl in me that wanted the fairy tale."

"The fairy tale?" He looked confused.

"You know, the knight in shining armor riding in on a horse to sweep me off my feet. I realized a long time ago that life isn't like that, but a part of me still hoped." He squeezed my hand. "Maybe a real life example I wanted to follow is Johnny and June."

"Johnny and June?" He appeared even more confused.

"Johnny Cash and June Carter. They loved each other so much that Johnny couldn't even last much longer after he lost June. I want a love like that."

"Bella, I cannot promise a fairy tale, but I can promise that there is nothing to stop us trying for a Johnny and June."

His eyes were determined, yet looking at me in a loving way. I could feel my heart pounding at his expression and how close his face had become to mine. I silently prayed that he would continue to lean in to kiss me. Since we decided on a relationship, he had only kissed me chastely on my lips or my cheek, but nothing like the kiss that started the situation we were in.

I felt my breathing hitch as he nuzzled my chin with his nose and he brought one hand to the back of my neck. Ever so slowly, he kissed along my jaw, from my chin to my ear and back again. Where his lips met my skin, all I felt were tingles.

"So beautiful," he whispered before his lips met mine.

The kiss started as chastely as the others, but as soon as I reached to put my arms around Edward's neck and my hands in his hair, I felt his tongue taste my bottom lip and I happily opened my mouth to let him deepen the kiss. With his arm that wasn't already on my neck, he wrapped his arm around my waist to pull me closer.

As my tongue hesitantly started to explore his mouth, I instinctively leaned back on the couch, pulling him on top of me. Sighing, Edward increased the intensity of the kiss as his hand roamed up and down my side, resting where there was a sliver of exposed skin between my jeans and my shirt.

_This is heaven. I would gladly marry this man if it meant we could spend evenings like this._

Edward's hand just started to slide up under my shirt and his lips had just left my mouth to find my neck when I heard a loud gasp and a scream.

"Geez, you guys! You know we have rooms upstairs, right?" That was definitely Alice's voice.

Edward immediately leapt off of me as he ran a hand through his hair. I sat up, as well, straightening my shirt and trying to get my hair back to the way it was. Alice and Jasper were standing at the entrance to the living room with shocked looks on their faces, which quickly turned into giggles. Jasper was trying not to look at us and Alice looked as if she didn't know whether or not she wanted to continue laughing or to scold us.

I felt all my blood rush to my face. I definitely did not expect that to happen, and I knew that if Alice and Jasper had not walked in on us, it was very probable that our actions would have led to something more. I seriously was beginning to wonder about my self control.

I stood, noting the time. "I… I…" I stuttered before finally speaking normally. "I probably should get going."

"I'll walk you out," Edward immediately replied, jumping from the couch and following me to the door as we both tried to avoid Alice and Jasper and their giggles.

As soon as we were out the door, Edward grabbed my hand to slow me down from running. "Slow down, Bella. We can't hear them laughing any more."

When we reached my car, he turned me around so that my back was to my Jeep and I was facing towards him. I noticed that he was wearing a smirk.

"I think we better watch ourselves from now on."

I nodded, still feeling the blush on my cheeks. He must have realized that we may not have stopped as well.

Edward leaned forward to press his hands on either side of my head and put his lips inches from my own.

I gulped as I felt my knees go weak.

"Not that I didn't think it wasn't fun, or anything," he smirked as his lips became even closer

I began breathing heavier as my heart began speeding again. _Dear Lord, what is wrong with me? And what is up with him? Didn't he realize what he was doing to me? Who gave him the right to be so sexy?_

Suddenly I realized why some Christian couples decided to not even kiss until they were married. They knew that once they started, it would be increasingly difficult to stop.

His lips were on mine again, but this time, it was a slow, gentle kiss. When we broke, Edward merely whispered "Good night" against my lips before opening the door for me to climb in.

He really was going to be the death of me.

The make-out session Edward and I had must have made my mind numb and cleared my brain of any rational thought, because I didn't even think about the discussion we had about marriage until the next day when I was sitting in my office.

Marriage. He wanted to marry me.

But the question still remained of why he wanted to marry me. He said he wanted to, but was it only because of the baby?

I always imagined that I would be deeply in love with the man I would marry. It was the fairy tale that I wanted. I knew I loved Edward to an extent, but was it the love that I expected to feel? He was one of my best friends, and I loved to be around him. We obviously had no problems in the physical aspects either.

Would marrying now be such a bad idea? I have known couples, both young and old, who were married just months after meeting each other and they were still in successful marriages.

In the past centuries, and in many cultures today, marriages were mostly arranged. I know that there were unhappy marriages resulted from the arrangements, but I also knew that many couples found happiness. In fact, I heard many times that couples who have arranged marriages today have a lower chance of becoming divorced. The reasons were speculated, but many people believed it was _because_ the couples entered the marriage without the thoughts of ideals and fairy tales.

Maybe today's ideals of the "sweep you off your feet" love as being the basis for a marriage were wrong. Marriage, above all, was a commitment to your spouse. Years of talking with married couples made me realize that romantic love didn't last unless you put forth the effort. In fact, the butterflies in your stomach and the excitement of a new relationship were biological responses to help form an attachment so that we could reproduce.

Compared to some couples, Edward and I were already at the head of the game. We have known each other well for two years and we already had a commitment for our friendship. I could tell by Edward's eyes and actions that he loved me to some extent, just as I did.

I sighed as I threw down my pen. I needed to talk to someone, and I knew just who to go to.

Leaving my office, I turned left down the hall that led to the church's main office. Knocking quietly, I heard a soft voice call out, "Come in!"

As I opened the door, Esme turned around in her chair and smiled at me. "Bella! What brings you here today?"

"Hi Esme. Do you have some time? I need someone to talk to."

She nodded, and indicated a chair next to her. "What do you need to talk about?"

I quickly relayed to her how Edward revealed that he would like to marry me. I told her about my hesitations, as well as everything I was thinking about before; how there really was no reason for a marriage between him and me to fail.

"What do you think?"

"I think you make some valid points, Bella," Esme started. "It's true that people go into marriage thinking that love is everything you need, but what they think is true love is only a feeling."

"What do you mean?"

"Bella, love isn't an emotion. Well, it is to an extent, but true love, love that lasts throughout a marriage, is a commitment to friendship, companionship, and a family. Romance comes separately. At the beginning of a relationship, it comes naturally, but after time, both the man and the woman need to work to keep the romance alive."

She paused before continuing. "There was a time in Carlisle's and my marriage where he wasn't meeting my needs as a husband. He was just beginning his own church and I felt alone much of the time. I didn't understand why he wouldn't make more time to talk with me. He spent much of the day into the evening planning and organizing before he came home, had dinner, and went to sleep."

I listened in silence. I couldn't believe that Esme was sharing something so personal with me.

"One day, I had enough. I found myself crying until I fell asleep and spending the day just lying on a sofa. I gained some courage and went to visit Carlisle. I told him all that I had been bottling up inside. I informed him that I no longer liked him." I gasped, and she continued. "But I also told him that I made a commitment to love and to be with him for the rest of my life, and that was what I was going to do."

"What happened?"

"He took my words to heart and he began changing to make sure I was getting the attention I needed. We worked through it with God at the center of our marriage, and we love each other more than we ever have." Esme reached over to take my hand. "What I'm trying to tell you is that I believe a marriage can work between you and Edward, but _only_ if you have God at the center of your marriage, and have the same amount of commitment on each end. It takes work. I also have seen how you two look at each other, and believe me, there is love there; it just may not be how you imagined it growing up as a child."

I nodded at what she said. I saw for myself the love Edward had for me in his eyes, even though he never said that he loved me out loud.

Esme continued, "This is something you need to discuss with Edward. Make sure you are on the same page as him. As much as I would love to see you two married with a family, I would be devastated to see you two enter an unhappy marriage."

I stood and gave Esme a hug. "Thank you, Esme. It means the world to me that you care so much."

"Of course I do, sweetie. You're like a daughter to me."

As I walked back to my own office, I thought about what Esme told me. Before I made a decision, I knew that I had to have another talk with Edward. I was about to call him when my phone rang.

Speak of the devil.

"Hey there," I smiled into the phone.

"Hey," his silky voice greeted. "I was able to talk with Dr. Denali and she can squeeze you in today at one. Can you make it?"

"Yeah, sure. Where should I meet you?"

"Just come into the hospital lobby and I'll meet you down there."

"Sounds great."

"I need to run, but I will see you later. I miss you."

I grinned, "I miss you, too. Bye."

I could not stop grinning as I turned up my music and purposely forgot about the resignation letter I was attempting to write. Somehow, my sorrow of resigning my position left me as I thought about the baby that was growing inside of me.


	12. Chapter 12: Fearless

_**A/N: **__Song: "Fearless" by Taylor Swift_

**Chapter 12: Fearless**

_And I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first  
Fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance  
In a storm in my best dress  
Fearless_

I paced around the hospital lobby, impatient for Edward to arrive. I knew I was earning some looks from other visitors and nurses, but I could not sit down. I was going to have my first pre-natal visit. I knew it was too early in the pregnancy to have a good reason to do an ultrasound, but I was still anxious to make sure that my baby was doing all right.

"Bella!"

I turned around to see Edward quickly walking to me. Once he reached me, he wrapped his arms around my waist and gave me a kiss.

"Hello Edward."

He grinned before asking, "Aren't you excited?"

"Nervous, more like it," I explained as he started to lead me towards the elevator.

"There's nothing to worry about. You and the baby are going to be healthy."

We stepped into the elevator, and since we were alone, I told him about my morning. "I spoke with Esme this morning about what you proposed last night."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Before I make a decision, I want to talk with you about what we would be doing." I bit my lower lip as I watched his expression.

"Okay. When would you like to do it?"

"How about dinner?"

"Sounds good. I'll pick you up when I'm done with my shift."

By time our conversation ended, the elevator had reached the floor where the OB/GYN offices were. Walking through the wing, I noticed many pregnant women in different stages of pregnancy. I especially noticed the woman in a wheelchair who was currently cursing at her husband for putting her in the situation she was in.

I tried to hide my laughter as I promised myself that I would not do that to Edward when my time came.

When we reached Dr. Denali's office, we checked in and the nurse gave me many forms to fill out. Edward helped me fill out the medical history for his side of the family, and soon after we turned the papers in, we were led back to an examination room, where I was told to put on one of those flimsy gowns, which caused an awkward situation for Edward and me.

"Umm," Edward averted his eyes from me. "Do you want me to leave the room while you change?"

I laughed. "It's not like you haven't seen this before." He gave a small chuckle, too, but I instructed him, "Just turned around while I get changed."

As soon as I was ready and seated on the examination table, I called him over. Immediately, he was at my side holding my hand. A minute later, the door opened and in stepped the doctor.

She was gorgeous. She must have been six foot tall with strawberry-blonde hair that was pulled back into a low ponytail. Her face was clear of any imperfection and she had the body of a supermodel.

"Hey Edward," she greeted with a smile before turning to me. "You must be Bella."

I held out my hand to her. "It's nice to meet you Dr. Denali."

"Please, it's Tanya," she replied, sitting down on the stool next to the table. "Any friend of Edward's is a friend of mine."

_Tanya. That name seems familiar._

Before I could ponder her name any longer, she pulled out my chart and skimmed it. "It says here that you are just going into your sixth week. Is that correct?"

I nodded.

"Okay. Since your health history is clean, I don't see a reason to do an ultrasound quite yet. I'm going to do a routine pap smear and as long as everything checks out, I'll see you again in a month. Then we can use the Doppler and you can hear your baby's heartbeat."

"When does the baby's heart start beating?" I asked.

"Your baby's heart could be beating right now, actually," Tanya grinned. "It just takes several more weeks for it to be strong enough for us to hear."

_Wow. Almost six weeks along, and my baby might already have a heartbeat. Amazing._

"Okay. I am going to just press around your abdomen and make sure everything feels okay." As she began putting gentle compressions on my stomach, she asked, "How are you feeling physically?"

I shrugged. "I have a bit of morning sickness, but I usually only get sick once a morning."

"That's good. How about fatigue?"

"I've been falling asleep much earlier in the evenings now. Sometimes I take a nap, but not always."

"If you can, try to take a nap, Bella. Your body needs its rest now." Then she said the dreaded words. "Okay, feet on the stirrups and scoot up."

Even after many years of having my yearly pap smears, I still dreaded this.

"Okay, you know the drill. I tried to warm the metal a little, so hopefully it won't be too uncomfortable. And remember to breathe."

A minute later, everything was done and she told me to sit up. I had to admit, she was very gentle. "Everything looks great; all we need to do is wait for the tests to come back, but I don't anticipate any problems." As she pulled off her gloves, she asked another question. "How have you been eating?"

Before I could answer, Edward finally spoke. "I'm making sure she's eating healthy."

Tanya chuckled, "That sounds like you, Edward. Always taking care of others."

He looked down at me and squeezed my hand. "Well, I have to make sure the two most important people in my life are healthy and happy." I could feel myself blushing.

Tanya smiled, "Well, it looks like they will be. Just remember, Bella," she turned to me, "ignore any old advice of gaining too much weight. With your height and weight, I would say to not gain more than twenty-five pounds."

"Okay," I nodded. Twenty-five pounds still seemed like a lot to me.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, Bella. I look forward to seeing you next month," Tanya shook my hand again before turning to Edward. "See you later, Edward."

"Bye," we both said at the same time.

As I changed back into my clothes, I couldn't help wondering why my doctor's name was so familiar. She and Edward were friends at some level. Had I met her before?

_No; I would have remembered a beauty like that. _I decided I had to ask Edward about her.

As Edward and I walked hand-in-hand out of the office, Edward commented, "See? I told you everything would be fine."

"Yeah," I smiled. "But I can't wait to hear the heartbeat."

"Me neither." Edward squeezed my hands.

"So how long have you and Tanya been friends?"

"Since college. She was my girlfriend," he answered, looking down at me.

"Oh."

That's where I heard her name. She was the only other woman Edward had slept with. A tinge of jealousy began floating through my body. Why would Edward choose me when he had the beautiful Tanya?

"You're not jealous, are you?" he smirked after I was silent for a while.

"No," I lied as my cheeks turned red.

"You're such a bad liar," Edward chuckled as we entered the elevator to go back down to the lobby. As there were people in the elevator, we stopped talking until we reached the first floor.

Just before we reached the exit doors, he stopped me to turn me towards him. "Bella, there's nothing to be jealous of. There was a reason why we broke-up." I nodded, biting my lower lip. "And I wanted you to go to her because she is one of the best obstetricians in this hospital, but if it upsets you…"

"No," I shook my head. "It's just a silly feeling. I liked her as well. She was very gentle."

"Well, if you change your mind," Edward paused to push a piece of hair behind my ear, "just let me know."

"Okay."

"I have to get going, but I will pick you up after my shift. All right?"

"I'll be ready." I reached up to kiss him. "I will see you later."

"Bye," he leaned down to kiss me again. "Be careful."

"I will." And with that, I turned around to leave the hospital.

When I returned to the church, I made some final changes to my resignation letter, printed it off, and headed to Carlisle's office. When he invited me in, I went directly to his desk and put the letter on it.

"Here is my resignation letter, Carlisle."

"Thank you."

I turned to leave, but he stopped me. "Why don't you take a seat, Bella?"

I did as he told me, and waited while he read my letter.

"You have this resignation effective in two weeks," he commented. "Is that what you want?"

"Sir?" I asked, confused.

"Well, I figured that we did have some time before word got out about your pregnancy. Besides, we need somebody to remain in place while we look for a replacement, which I would like your input for."

"Oh." I hadn't thought about that.

"Would you be willing to stay on board until we do find somebody else?"

I nodded, "Of course. I would want as much time as possible with the kids."

There was a moment of silence before Carlisle spoke again. "I'm sorry it has to be this way, Bella."

"I know," I sighed. "I'm sorry that I even put you in this predicament."

"Things happen," Carlisle shrugged. "People make mistakes. I _am_ proud of how you and Edward are handling it, by the way."

"Thanks."

"I heard you had a doctor's appointment today."

"How did you find out? I only knew about the appointment today."

"Edward called me when he had a break. He wanted to tell me that you and the baby are healthy."

I grinned, "Yes, we are."

"I'm glad," he smiled. "I need to tell you, Bella, as a pastor, I'm disappointed in what happened." He paused before smiling sheepishly, "But at the same time, I'm excited to be a grandfather." I chuckled at his confession. "Even though I'm much too young to be one," he added.

"But of course."

I couldn't help smiling at the conversation Carlisle and I were having. I was so frightened of his reaction, that when it turned out that he was going to be very supportive, it was a great relief. I knew as a pastor there were things that he could not change the course of, like me resigning, but as a father, he held a soft spot for the baby that was coming.

Soon after that, I excused myself to start working on the lesson for the middle school youth meeting that was the next evening. It was mostly done, but the thoughts in my head kept distracting me. I was determined to settle down and finish the lesson before I had to head home to get ready for my "date."

I smirked as I thought about the word "date." Were Edward and I dating? Or were we something more? Obviously, we were going to be parents together soon, and we were thinking about marriage, but what was our "title?"

_Oh well. Titles don't mean much anyway._

As I found my hand go to my abdomen instinctively, I realized I wasn't bothered by what Edward and I were. All I knew was that we were together and that we created a life together.

And for once, I was fearless.


	13. Chapter 13: Mood Rings

_**A/N**_**: **_Song: "Mood Rings" by Relient K_

**Chapter 13: Mood Rings**

_If it's drama you want then look no further  
They're like "The Real World" meets "Boy Meets World" meets "Days of our Lives"  
And it just kills me how they get away with murder  
They'll anger you then bat their eyes; those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize_

_EPOV_

It was nearly nine when I pulled up in front of Bella's apartment. I had a last minute appointment that ended with admitting a little boy into the ICU at the hospital. If there was only one thing that I hated about my job, it was when I saw critically ill children. It just didn't seem fair that God let them suffer the way they did. And when I ended the day with a case like that, it made my evening so much more depressing.

On my way home, I called Bella explaining why I was late, and we decided that I was to just pick up a pizza on the way home instead of going out to eat. I tried arguing with her that it wasn't healthy enough for her.

She yelled at me and said if I didn't stop picking on her about the junk food that she ate only once in a while, she was going to take a head of broccoli and shove it up a very inappropriate part of my body.

Apparently the hormones were already starting to kick in.

I had just barely reached the door to Bella's apartment when it flung open and Bella appeared.

"Oh thank God!" she exclaimed.

At first I was flattered that she missed me so much, and I was about to tell her how much I missed her too, when I realized she was completely ignoring me and grabbing the pizza out of my hands.

"Well, hello to you, too," I teased as I followed her into her apartment.

"I'm sorry," she called from the kitchen. "I'm just so hungry!"

When I finally got to the dining table, she already had a slice out of the box and half-way in her mouth. I chuckled as I reached into a cabinet and got two plates out.

"Missing something?" I handed her a plate.

When she looked at me with wide eyes, brimming with tears, I knew I must have said something wrong, but I had no idea what. I rushed over to her to put an arm around her waist. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"You… You…" she sniffled. "You think I'm fat!" With that, she burst into sobs, hiding her face into my shoulder.

_What? She thinks that I think she's fat? How did she get that from me handing a plate to her?_

"Honey, no I don't. I just was handing you a plate so nothing would fall on the floor and make a mess," I soothed.

"But I started eating right away and now you think I'm a pig!"

"No I don't." I sighed, pulling her down on my lap. I decided that I wasn't going to say anything more; I'd probably just upset her.

We sat for several minutes as her sobs died down and I rubbed her back. Bella was so even-tempered that her outburst took me as a surprise. She was fine just this afternoon; now all of a sudden, she was a mess.

When her sobs finally stopped, I tentatively suggested that she eat.

She shook her head. "I don't want pizza anymore."

"Why not? You were craving it just minutes before."

"I want herring."

"Herring?" She nodded against my shoulder. "Well, do you have any in the fridge?"

"No."

"So you want to go out to get some? Aren't you tired?"

Bella lifted her head from my shoulder and stared out from under lashes. "I was hoping you would go out for me."

I sighed. "Do you really need herring?"

"Yes!"

I really didn't want to go out to the grocery store. I was tired after a long day at work. I didn't have to work the next day, but it didn't mean I wanted to go gallivanting out on the town at nine at night.

But then Bella looked at me with those big, brown eyes.

I was whipped.

Forty-five minutes, fifteen texts with more food requests, and five grocery bags full later, I was back at Bella's apartment. To my surprise, half the pizza was gone. I rolled my eyes as I started putting the different groceries away. When I came across the herring, I brought the jar to Bella with a fork.

"One jar of herring just for you," I proclaimed as I opened the bottle.

"Mmm," she moaned as she took the jar. Just as she was about to pop a piece of the herring in her mouth, her face turned green.

"Bella?"

Instead of answering, she quickly placed the jar down and ran to the bathroom. I winced as I heard retching noises and I quickly ran to her side.

I patiently waited and rubbed her back as she proceeded to empty her stomach. It seemed to go on forever, but finally, she was able to stand to brush her teeth and wash her face.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled.

"What for?" My eyebrows furrowed.

"I probably just grossed you out."

I chuckled at her remark. "Bella, I'm a doctor and a pediatrician no less. It takes _a lot_ to gross me out." I put my arm around her shoulder and started leading her to the living room. "Come on. You need to sit down, and we need to talk about your response to my proposal."

Her face showed a lovely shade of pink as I said the last part. Was she blushing at the word "proposal?" However, she nodded and moved to sit down on the couch.

"I'm just going to grab a couple pieces of pizza," I told her as I headed back to the kitchen.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Bella covered her mouth. "I didn't let you eat anything yet."

I shook my head and gave her a grin, "Don't worry about it." I quickly grabbed a plate and two slices of pizza before sitting down next to Bella on the couch.

"So," she began and then hesitated.

"So," I smirked.

I actually suspected that Bella was not going to turn my proposal down. I knew her well enough that if she was going to refuse to marry me, she would be closed off and quiet as she pondered a way to tell me she would not marry me. She was much too boisterous and open for an outright refusal.

"I talked to Esme today and we had a great conversation about marriage and what it really is," she began to explain without looking up at me.

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow.

"We talked about how marriage is not only about love and romance and how love isn't always an emotion."

"What do you mean?" I already knew that marriage wasn't all about flowers and hearts and all that girly stuff, but I wanted to know what Bella thought about it.

"I mean that what we feel at the beginning of a relationship is mostly romance and that wears off after a while. Love is a commitment."

"I could not have said that better myself, love." Bella blushed at my endearment.

"Edward," Bella reached for my hand and looked up towards me. "I am willing to marry you if you promise me some things."

I could not help the grin that spread automatically over my face. She had just agreed to marry me. Of course, there were conditions, but I wasn't worried about those, for some reason. Automatically, I pictured Bella dressed in a beautiful white dress.

"Edward?"

Bella's voice snapped me out of my daydream. "Yes?"

"Did you hear what I said?" she smirked.

"You agreed to marry me!"

She rolled her eyes, but laughed all the same. "Yes, I did, if you promise me three things."

"I can do that."

"First, you must realize that it _is_ a commitment and that even if you grow tired of me, it's not a reason to give up. First and foremost, we need to remain best friends."

"I can do that," I nodded. As if I would grow tired of her.

"Second, I know it is not the most important part of marriage, but I'm sure you know romance is very important to women." I nodded. "You need to work with me to keep romance alive. I'm not talking about flowers every day, but once in a while, I like sweet things done for me." She blushed.

"What about me? I like sweet things, too," I laughed.

"Of course I would do things for you." Her blush became brighter.

"And what is the third promise?"

"It is the most important, Edward." Her expression suddenly turned serious and I felt slight nervousness at what she was going to say. "You have to promise me that we will center our marriage around God. Without Him, it _will not_ work."

"Bella," I grabbed her around her waist and brought her to sit on my lap. "None of these ideas are new to me. I always knew what marriage was all about by watching my parents. Believe me; they are happy, but definitely not perfect." I pushed a piece of hair behind her ears and looked deep in her eyes. "We may have had some laughs discussing this, but I promise you in all seriousness that I will commit myself to you, I will romance you, and I will always work to put God in the forefront of our marriage. I never wanted anything different for my life."

I was alarmed when I saw tears fill Bella's eyes, but without a word, she threw her arms around me and held me close.

I closed my eyes to just enjoy the feeling of her in my arms and I made the decision to tell her the one thing I was scared to for so long.

"I love you," I whispered into her hair. It proclaimed it so softly, that I wasn't even sure if she heard it, but suddenly, she pulled back and pressed her lips to mine.

"I love you, too," she whispered against my lips when our kiss finally ended.

I could have leapt for joy at those four simple words. There was no doubt in my mind at that point that we could be very happily married for the rest of our lives.

I only stayed at Bella's apartment for another hour and a half. I had off the next day, but she had to go into work, of course.

After our declarations, we talked a little about when we would get married. To quiet any rumors that will develop in the church, we decided to get married before she would start showing too much. We figured July or August would be best even though Alice would certainly freak out that she wouldn't have much time to plan. (Yes, we already knew that Alice would certainly take over the plans even though she had her own wedding to plan.) Apart from that decision, we decided that we would discuss plans later that week, depending on when the rest of my family was free.

After the serious conversation, we decided to relax while watching television. It surprised me when she suggested that we watch the show "Top Gear." I never took her as a girl that loved cars.

She giggled when I told her that. "I'm not obsessed and I don't know all the technical terms," she explained, "but I still appreciate good cars. Besides, these guys are hilarious. I could watch them all day."

As I drove home that night, I reflected on just that one fact that I learned about Bella. Suddenly it became clear to me that although we were close friends, we most likely had much more to learn about each other.

And I looked forward to every moment, even if she acted as crazy as she did tonight.

_And I've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man  
Let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings  
So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off  
'Cause we'll know just what they're thinking_


	14. Chapter 14: Fishing in the Dark

_**A/N: **__Song: "Fishing in the Dark" by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band_

**Chapter 14: Fishing in the Dark**

_Lazy yellow moon coming up tonight  
Shining through the trees  
Crickets are singing  
And the lightning bugs are floating on the breeze  
Baby get ready_

Across the field where the creek turns back  
By the old stump road  
I'm going to take you to a special place  
That nobody knows  
Baby get ready

_EPOV_

"Hey, Alice, I need you to do something for me."

Alice looked up from the bridal magazine she currently was reading. "What is it, Ed?"

I scowled at the shortened version of my name. "I need you to find Bella's father's phone number for me."

"What do you need that for?" my sister looked confused.

"Well, Bella agreed to marry me…" I began, but didn't have a chance to finish. My pixie-like sister had thrown down her magazine and was currently bouncing around the living room. She was talking so quickly, I wasn't exactly sure what she was saying, but I could have sworn she was talking about flowers and dresses and reception sites. She was already planning our wedding.

"Alice!" I tried once to get her attention. It didn't work.

"Alice!" I yelled louder. Still no response. She was talking about invitations now.

"ALICE!" I couldn't believe it. She still didn't stop. Growing up with her, I knew there was only one way to get her to be quiet and sit still. I tackled her.

"Edward!" she squealed as she landed on the couch. "That was mean!"

"You wouldn't stop to listen to me!" I complained as I stood up.

"I have plenty of time to listen to you! I may not have much time to plan the wedding!"

I rolled my eyes. "How did we know that you were going to take over?"

"Because you guys want the best wedding ever!" Alice grinned up at me.

I sighed. "Well, no matter what, could you do me the favor of finding Bella's father's phone number?"

"Oh yeah. Why?"

"Well, I wanted to do this the traditional way by asking her father's permission and all that, so you need to get the number without Bella realizing what you're doing." I was a bit embarrassed to confess that, seeing that this wedding was not happening in a traditional way, but I felt it was important to ask the bride's father for permission. I also wanted to give Bella a real proposal. Our situation shouldn't rob her of her one chance to have a romantic proposal.

"Aww," Alice sighed. "You're so cute." She reached over to pinch my cheek.

I swatted her hand away. "Seriously, Alice."

"What?" She looked innocently up at me.

I rolled my eyes at her. "You're too much. But I also need your help in another area."

"What's that?"

"I need help picking out a ring."

Apparently, that was another thing that would send Alice into hyper-activity mode. Once again, she was bouncing around the living room.

It was going to be a long evening.

"You don't have any idea who sneaky I had to be to get this," Alice murmured the next afternoon as she shoved a piece of paper in my hand. "I got his home number and the number at the police station."

_Oh crap. I forgot. He was a police chief. He was going to kill me when he found out. I certainly hope that Bella doesn't tell him about her condition until after I call him._

"Thanks, Alice. You're the best."

"So have you decided anything yet?" my sister asked as she looked down at all the jewelry.

"No. I just know that Bella would want simple."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Yeah, no kidding. What I would give to see a Tacori setting on her finger. You have to promise me to at least get her one karat."

I shook my head. "Bella would hate that."

"Three quarters?" Alice looked up hopefully.

"Maybe. I care more about quality than size."

"Yeah," Alice sighed happily as she stared at the rings. "Shiny."

I laughed. I absolutely loved my sister. More often than not, people assumed that she was superficial because of her love for clothing and accessories, but she was one of the most down-to-earth people I knew. She was also easily amused with anything that glittered.

"Did you ever notice how diamonds sparkle more in church?"

"No, Alice, I have not."

"Well, they do."

"I believe you."

"You better."

Our pointless conversation came to a close thankfully as a sales lady approached us. She listened much better to my opinions than Alice, but in the end, the ring I picked out was almost a karat. It was simple, however. It was round cut set in a simple platinum band, to the consternation of my sister. The size and quality was enough to satisfy her, though.

I had the ring, now I only had to call Charlie, Bella's father, and plan a way to ask Bella. I already had something in mind. There was a meadow only accessible by an off-road vehicle that was perfectly round. To the side, a creek that fed into the larger river flowed. I wanted to propose there, but I hadn't decided exactly what to do yet.

But first, I had to call Chief Swan.

As soon as Alice left my company to back to the salon, I took out my cell phone and the piece of paper Alice had handed me in the jewelry shop.

_Well, it's now or never. _

I dialed the phone number and pressed "send." Then I pressed "end." I did this several times before I finally got up the nerve to actually say on the line.

"Swan residence."

"Mr. Swan?" I nervously asked.

"Yes? Who is this?"

"Mr. Swan, my name is Edward Cullen and I have been dating your daughter." So that was a little fib, but it would be better than telling him that I knocked his daughter up and wanted to make an honest woman out of her.

"Cullen, eh? Bella has mentioned your family, but she never mentioned dating you."

"Well, you know how private she is." I hope that worked.

"Yeah, that's Bells for you."

_Bells. That's cute._ "So Mr. Swan," I began.

"Charlie."

"Charlie, I was calling you to ask permission to propose to Bella."

Silence. For a moment I thought the line went dead, but Bella's father spoke once again. "You want to marry her?"

"Yes, sir."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-nine."

"What do you do?" Translation: Do you make enough to support my daughter?

"I'm a pediatrician."

"Hmph."

"Where did you go to college?"

"Dartmouth for undergrad, Ohio State for med school."

"Wow. Go Buckeyes."

I laughed. Was he really talking about sports when I just asked him for his permission to marry his daughter?

"Where were you born?"

"Chicago." My nervousness was actually fading away during the interrogation. I actually found it a little amusing.

"What was your G.P.A. in high school?"

"Uh… I don't remember that, sir."

I heard genuine laughter on the other end of the phone. "I was just kidding about that. I have to give you the complete third degree."

"I don't blame you, sir."

Finally he asked the million-dollar question. "Do you love her?"

"With all my heart."

There was silence again, and I began to think that he wasn't going to give his permission. I didn't see why he would. This was the first time he learned that his only daughter was "dating" a man that he hadn't even met. I probably wouldn't be too keen on giving my permission, either.

I heard a sigh on the other end. "I really hate the fact that I don't even know you, but I know Bella, and she wouldn't be with a man if he wasn't right for her. On the condition that she agrees, I will give my blessing."

I grinned. I just got Bella's father's blessing on our marriage.

"Thank you, sir. I promise I will make Bella the happiest woman alive."

I meant every word.

"Go to the passenger side."

"Nuh uh," Bella shook her head. "You said that we had to take my jeep, so I'm going to drive."

"You don't know where we're going."

"You can give me directions."

"I want it to be a surprise."

"What are you going to do? Blindfold me?"

"Maybe," I smirked. In a role reversal, it was Bella who was picking me up for our date so we could take the jeep. It was Friday night, and I thankfully had the weekend off again. With the help of Alice and Rosealie, I had come up with a plan of proposing to Bella. "Come on, babe, it's almost sunset and we need to get there before it gets dark."

Bella just smirked at me. So I did the only thing I could think of. I kissed her.

A breathless moment later, I pulled back to see a dazed expression on Bella's face and an adorable pout beginning to develop. "You don't play fair."

"I never said I did."

As she got out to switch sides, I opened the back to store away all of the supplies I brought. Blankets? Check. Picnic basket with food? Check. Fishing poles? Check.

"Edward, you know I love you, right?" Bella asked as I climbed into the driver's seat.

I grinned. "I don't know. Do you?"

She leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. "Yes, I do. But I want you to know that fishing isn't exactly my ideal date."

"Why not?" I frowned.

She shrugged. "I was always forced to go along with Charlie when he went fishing. I hated it."

"Well, you never went fishing with me, did you?"

"No."

"Well, I promise you that it will definitely be worth your while."

"I'll hold you to that, Mr. Cullen."

"So how do you feel about fishing now?" I asked Bella as she laid with her head on my chest.

She giggled. "If by fishing, you mean casting the line and totally ignoring it while we cuddled, I would say I like it very much."

It was several hours later, but I had not proposed yet. I was waiting for the perfect time.

When we arrived at the meadow, we unpacked everything from the back of the jeep and set up a layer of blankets on the ground. For most of the evening, we ate from the picnic basket, drank sparkling grape juice, and laid on our backs, watching the stars. I couldn't believe my luck at how clear the night sky was and how relatively warm it was. I smiled at the thought that God must have been on my side.

It was peaceful just to be with her. We talked some, but for the most part, we just enjoyed each other's company while stealing kisses every once in a while. I imagined plenty of other evenings like this in our future.

As I was laying with one hand resting on her stomach and another hand caressing her left hand, I realized who much I wanted my ring on that hand. I had to propose soon.

"Where are you going?" Bella frowned as I moved to stand. I had hidden the ring at the bottom of the picnic basket.

"I need to get something."

I chuckled lightly at her expression as she sat up with a blanket wrapped around her legs. A moment later, I had the ring box in my hand and was attempting to come up with the courage to ask her.

Yes, I know she already agreed to marry me, but it was still nerve-wracking. This was the only proposal I was going to give, and I wanted it to be special.

Turning back towards Bella, I smiled lightly as she sat with her arms around her legs and her chin resting on her knees. Her eyes were closed, and by the expression on her face, I could tell that she was happy.

"Bella?"

The smile that she gave me took my breath away. "Yes, Edward?"

"There is something I need to ask you." I slowly walked towards her and got down on one knee.

"Isabella Marie Swan, will you do the honor of becoming my wife?"

_You and me going fishing in the dark  
Lying on our backs and counting the stars  
Where the cool grass grows  
Down by the river in the full moon light  
We'll be falling in love in the middle of the night  
Just moving slow_

Staying the whole night through  
Feels so good to be with you


	15. Chapter 15: Love Story

_**A/N: **__Sorry for the rapid updates… or You're welcome to those who enjoyed it. This catches me up to what is updated at . I hope you are still enjoying it._

_The song is "Love Story" by Taylor Swift_

**Chapter 15: Love Story**

_And I said,  
"Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone  
I keep waiting for you but you never come  
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think."  
He knelt to the ground and he pulled out a ring  
And said,_

"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone  
I love you and that's all I really know  
I talked to your dad, you'll pick out a white dress  
It's a love story, baby, just say yes"

"Isabella Marie Swan, will you do the honor of becoming my wife?"

I gasped as I looked at Edward's hesitant face. He was holding the most beautiful diamond ring in his hand, and I could tell that he was physically shaking.

I never imagined that he would actually propose. I assumed that the way that our relationship was progressing, there was no need for a typical proposal. That didn't mean that I didn't want one; I just assumed there wouldn't be one.

So the surprise I felt as Edward knelt in front of me was overwhelming. Sheer joy spread through my body as I realized how much I really did love him. The other night when he said it first, the words slipped out of my mouth. But I knew without a doubt that what I felt for Edward was love. It wasn't the feeling that fairy tales made it out to be, but it definitely was love.

"Bella?"

Through all my internal ramblings, I didn't realize that Edward was still on his knee, waiting for my answer. Certainly he knew it was, "yes," didn't he?

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "A million times yes!"

The grin that adorned Edward's face as he slipped the ring on my finger was the most beautiful expression I had ever seen. As soon as the ring was on my finger, I jumped at him, causing him to fall backwards onto the blanket.

As I gave tiny kisses all around his face, he was laughing. I finally stopped and held out my hand to look at my ring in the moonlight. I wasn't obsessed with material things, but what girl does not appreciate a sparkling diamond, especially when the cut and color are so perfect it sparkles in the moonlight?

"Do you like it?" My fiancée asked anxiously. "Alice helped me pick it out."

"It's _bigger_ than I expected_._"

"Is it too big? We can exchange it."

"No, silly," I laughed as I threw my arms around his neck. "I love it, it's just going to take some used to. But I can't believe Alice helped you pick something simple enough that I would like."

He chuckled, "Well, it was more like her settling on the size and quality and complaining that there wasn't more ornamental designs on the setting."

I chuckled, "That sounds like her."

"She's ready to start the planning, too."

I merely laughed. I knew she was going to. It didn't matter to her that she had her own to plan; in fact, this probably made her doubly happy.

I cuddled my head into the crook of Edward's shoulder and sighed. When this whole drama started, first with Edward and I sleeping together, and then with the discovery of the pregnancy, I couldn't see how anything good could come from it. I wondered why God would even let me go through something like this. Had I done something that warranted a punishment?

But I shouldn't have been surprised that God took a difficult situation and made it good. It wasn't the first time that he has done that. Now I was getting married to one of my best friends and I was going to have the gift of a child.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too," Edward whispered to me as he leaned down to give me the sweetest kiss I had ever experienced.

I woke up early the next morning with something tugging on my left hand. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw a pair of blue-gray ones staring back at me.

"Alice, what are you doing?"

She smirked, "I may ask the same thing of you. Except the door was open and you are fully dressed so I know what you _didn't_ do." She tugged on my left hand again. "Now let me see the ring."

The perfect evening last night ended when the inevitable rain started sprinkling down on us. We quickly packed up and headed on our way back to town. When we arrived at Edward's house, he hesitantly asked me to stay the night, promising that he would behave.

At first, I resisted, but than the thought of sleeping next to him completely changed my mind. True to his word, he was a perfect gentleman the whole night; he seemed to be content with just sleeping next to me as well… And, to be honest, a little making out too.

"Alice, if you don't leave us alone in ten seconds, I swear I'm going to kill you," Edward's muffled voice came from his pillow.

"Hush, Edward. You love me too much to kill me," Alice chirped as she hopped to sit on the bed. "Now, come on, we need to plan the wedding. We have to set a date, which means we have to talk too Mom to find out when the church is open, and we have to find a place for the reception, although I think it would be lovely to have it in Mom and Dad's backyard, and we have to decide what type of wedding dress and tuxedos you guys are going to wear and…"

"Alice," I groaned. "It's seven thirty and we didn't get back until two last night. Could you wait several hours until we discuss wedding plans?"

"But, we don't have much time. I suppose you want to get next summer. That's only a little over a year!"

Uh-oh. She is not going to like when we really wanted our wedding.

"Actually, Alice. We were kind of thinking towards the end of July."

"WHAT?!" she screamed, jumping from the bed. Grabbing my hand, she tried dragging me out of bed, but Edward's arm was firmly around my stomach.

"Alice, go away," Edward's voice was more firm than before. "We need to sleep."

But Alice kept pulling, and Edward kept restraining me. "Guys! I am not a tug-of-war toy." Immediately, Alice dropped my hand, and Edward's arm relaxed. "Alice, if you leave us alone now, I promise I can be your puppet for the rest of the weekend." I cringed as I said this, knowing that I would regret it within the hour I was awake. But at that moment, the only thing important to me was sleeping.

"Fine," Alice pouted, but I saw a gleam in her eye. "As soon as you're up, you're _mine."_ With a huff, she turned around and pranced out of the room.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you right now?" Edward murmured as he kissed my neck and settled back down next to me.

I laughed softly, "I think I have an idea."

And I slowly drifted off to sleep.

"Alice, I don't need a fancy wedding."

Rosealie sighed and rolled her eyes, "We never said it had to be fancy, but classy is a must."

It was early afternoon, and Alice, Rosealie and I were now at my apartment, looking at bridal magazines. While I was still sleeping, Alice had run to stores, picking up the latest magazines that she didn't already have.

"Now the first step is to decide on a wedding dress. It will be difficult without knowing exactly how much you will be showing, but we will do." Alice pulled several printouts from her bag. "Now I searched for maternity dresses, and here are some great ones. This one is my favorite."

She handed me over a picture of a beautiful lace colored gown. The only problem with it was that it was fitted… through the whole dress.

"Alice, I can't wear something like this. It'll reveal everything."

"Why not? A pregnant woman is beautiful!"

"But I don't want to show off my stomach!" I objected.

Rosealie interrupted our argument with a comment of her own. "You know, Alice, she probably won't be showing that much. This dress may just make her look fat."

I rolled my eyes. "Geez, thanks." You could always bet on Rosealie saying it like it is, though.

"What? I'm looking out for you!" she defended herself.

"Well, maybe something with an empire waistband would do," Alice mused. "It would hide the stomach for the most part, and it also will be able to adjust depending on how much you're showing. Speaking of which, we probably should change your style of bridesmaid dress for my wedding. You'll really be showing by then."

"Oh, I'm sorry Alice," I apologized, but she just waved her hand indicating that she didn't care much about the change of dresses.

"You know what?" Alice squealed, suddenly over-excited. "We need to take a trip to Seattle!"

Rose's eyes lit up at that idea. "We can drag the boys and have a weekend away. We can go do wedding things, and they can pick out their tuxes for both of your weddings and do guy things!"

"We can go to the spa and everything!" Alice was jumping up and down.

"Guys, can't I just get a dress here in town or Port Angeles?" I sighed.

"Isabella Swan! Don't you ever say anything like that again! You need to look your best for your wedding. Many famous designers make maternity gowns now, and you will only be able to find them in Seattle."

"We just have one more detail to decide," Rose looked sideways at me and smirked.

_Uh oh._

"Should we lie and get her a white dress, or a bright scarlet dress that screams 'I'm not a virgin?'"

"Rose!" I threw a pillow at her. "That's not very nice. And I don't recall any wedding pictures of yours where you are not wearing the virginal white dress!" I teased. "Besides, the original idea of a white wedding dress wasn't to signify virginity; it was to show that a rich family could afford the expense of a very impractical white dress that would only be worn for one occasion." I crossed my arms in triumph.

Alice sighed, "Well, it won't be either white or scarlet. Do you think I would let pale-faced Bella in a complexion draining color? It has to be ivory," Alice concluded.

Rose and I kept quiet, seemingly losing the argument to Alice's determination.

Luckily, the phone rang, deterring any more talk about the lack of my virginity. Looking at the caller ID, I saw that it was my dad. Usually I only talked to him on Sundays, and I always called, so it was a surprise to see his name on my phone.

All of a sudden I got butterflies in my stomach when I realized that I really ought to tell him about my impending nuptials. He would need to know in advance so that he could take time off to walk me down the aisle.

Eventually I would have to tell him that I was pregnant, too. I intentionally haven't told either one of my parents. I didn't know how Renee would handle it, but I winced as I thought of Dad grabbing his shotgun and flying out to see me and the no-good man who impregnated me.

"Hey Dad," I greeted as I accepted the call.

"Hey there, Bells. How's it going?"

"Great. How about you?"

"Great."

There were always awkward silences during our conversations, but I always looked forward to our weekly conversations. With him being down in Texas, I missed him terribly.

"So anything new?" He asked.

"I.. um…" I knew now would be a good time to tell him, but how do you let your father know that his only child, his baby girl, was getting married? I glanced over at Alice and Rose who were watching me, waiting for my decision. "Dad, I need to tell you something."

"What is it, Bells?"

"I'm getting married."

He chuckled, "Congratulations."

_Wait? Where was the surprise? The interrogation of who I was marrying? Something was not right._

"You don't seem surprised, Dad."

"Well, I'm not. Edward called me the other day for my permission."

I sighed inwardly. Was it possible that I fell even more in love for Edward for doing something so… gentlemanly?

"Really? How'd you like him?"

"He seems like a great guy, Bella. Of course when I come to visit, I will need to give him the complete interrogation."

I laughed. "I wouldn't expect anything but that, Dad."

"So have you set a date yet?"

I chewed my bottom lip as I thought of how to answer that. "Um. We're not exactly sure, but we're thinking towards the end of July or early August."

"Oh. Well that will give you plenty of time then. You have over a year of planning."

He obviously thought I meant next year. Now for the bomb. "No, Dad, of this year."

"Oh."

Once again there was awkward silence. I had to think of an explanation of why we were getting married so quickly. I didn't want to lie, but I also didn't want to tell my dad I was pregnant over the phone.

"Why so soon?"

I shrugged as if he could see me. I crossed my fingers and hoped that he would believe me. I never was much of a liar. "Well, we know what we want, and I don't need a big wedding, so we thought there was no reason to wait."

"Oh, okay," he paused. "This is a lot to spring on me, Bells."

_Oh, you have no idea_.

"I know, Dad. I'll let you know as soon as possible when the wedding is, so you can make sure your shifts are covered. Hopefully we'll know by tomorrow since we'll be talking with Edward's parents about when the church will be open."

We talked for another couple of minutes before we said our good-byes. Right before we hung up, he reminded me to tell my mother as soon as I could, so I called her immediately after.

Renee was surprised about my wedding, mostly because she never heard me talk about Edward as a boyfriend, but she was excited. She told me that I was mature enough to make such a life-altering decision. However, she was disappointed in that we were getting married so soon. It seemed as if she wanted a hand in planning the wedding with Alice and Rosealie.

All in all, I thought the conversations with my parents went very well. I just didn't want to think about the inevitable conversation that would come when they see my swollen stomach.

The next day, the Cullens and I were seated in the living room after the Sunday dinner when the subject of the wedding date came up.

When we revealed our engagement to Edward's parents, they were clearly pleased. I could tell that they witnessed the feelings Edward and I had for each other, so neither one saw any doubt in our decision.

Esme had grabbed a calendar she always kept with her that showed all the events happening at the church. She always kept the schedule on the computer, but always had a back-up with two hand-written calendars.

"So you want the end of July or early August?" She asked as she perused the calendar.

When we confirmed that was what we wanted, she asked, "Do you definitely want it on Saturday, or are Fridays okay?"

Edward and I looked at each other and shrugged. "Either one is okay, I guess," I answered.

Esme told us the available dates, and we all eventually decided on Saturday, August 2.

As soon as the date was set, and the wedding penciled into Esme's calendar, Edward squeezed my hand and looked over to me. He had the biggest grin on his face that I had ever seen.

And I had a feeling my expression echoed his own.


	16. Chapter 16: Believe

**a/n: Tha**nk you all for your reviews as always. They make me smile.

This chapter is mostly a discussion about Bella and Edward's faith. I do used the term "saved" which sometimes is an uncomfortable word for people.

Edward's story is blatantly stolen from Brooks & Dunn's song "Believe" which is also the song in this chapter. If you do not know what the "Red Letters" are, in the niv translation of the Bible (perhaps other translations as well), Jesus' words are in red. I was totally confused by the DC Talk song "Red Letters" for a while until somebody explained it to me.

Anyway, here it is…

**Chapter 16: I Believe**

_I can't quote the book  
The chapter or the verse  
You can't tell me it all ends  
In a slow ride in a hearse  
You know I'm more and more convinced  
The longer that i live  
Yeah, this can't be  
No, this can't be  
No, this can't be all there is_

The next couple of weeks flew by with wedding preparations. Alice won the argument about a trip to Seattle, and so in three days time, Alice and Jasper, Rose and Emmett, and Edward and I were set to drive to Seattle for a weekend of wedding preparations. Of course, Alice managed to sneak some spa trips as well as some shopping trips that had nothing to do with our weddings into the schedule.

Edward and I made a habit of spending our evenings together either at my apartment or his house. Many times we just opted for my apartment to avoid the madness that was his sister. Other times, I figured that our wedding had to become planned some way, so I might as well deal with her hyperactivity.

Edward and I spent most of our time learning some little things that never came up in our friendship. I learned that his favorite color was green and he learned that mine changed from day to day. I learned that he started playing the piano when he was three and he learned that I started lessons in third grade, although I always tinkered with my mother's upright piano. His favorite piece to play on the piano was Debussy's Clair de Lune, but his favorite original composition was our baby's lullaby that he was still working on, and mine was Beethoven's Sonata Pathetique. I learned that his favorite author was Ernest Hemmingway and mine was Jane Austen. His favorite TV show was "House" and mine was "Scrubs."

We even set aside some nights where we watched our favorite movies. Well, we set aside one for his, and three for mine. _Blues Brothers_ obviously only took one night, but when I pulled out the BBC version of _Pride and Prejudice_, Edward started protesting.

"I thought you meant your favorite version was that new one that came out a couple of years ago!"

I pouted, "I like that one, but this one stays more true to the novel."

"But do we have to watch a six hour chick flick?"

"It's not a chick flick!" I retorted. "And technically, each episode is fifty minutes, so it's really only five hours."

He rolled his eyes, but I knew he wouldn't say no, and so for the next three nights, he endured the torture inflicted by Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet. However, when it came to the end, he begrudgingly admitted that the movie wasn't half bad. He even had a small desire to read the book.

Three nights before our scheduled trip to Seattle, Edward and I settled into a conversation that held a serious note; that of when we became Christian.

"You said that you weren't a Christian in high school; what happened?" Edward asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "It was actually senior year of high school. A friend of mine, Angela, invited me to her youth group and Bible study. I couldn't say that I didn't believe in God and Jesus, I did, but in more of a secular way. I just never knew what it really meant to truly _believe._ I learned that they weren't some far off spirits that just watched what went on in the world." I paused as Edward's eyes persuaded me to continue. "I remember the night clearly when I finally realized that God wanted so much more from me. He wanted me to recognize my sins and faults, but more than that, he actually _loved_ me and wanted me to come to Him in pain, happiness, sadness; in all situations. That was the night I was saved."

"Were you still with your boyfriend then?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but he had some aversion to Christianity. Our relationship started to be strained once I started attending the youth group. It didn't last much longer after I dedicated my life to God, especially since I decided I didn't want to have sex anymore."

Edward mumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "jerk."

"So there you have it," I shrugged. "It's not a spectacular conversion or anything. It wasn't like I was an adamant atheist that got completely turned around."

"So when did you decide to become a youth minister?"

"In college. I was actually an education major, when I suddenly felt this pull towards ministry. I remained in education; I thought it would still be useful as a youth minister; I just added religious studies as a minor." I grabbed his hand and asked, "So how about you? Obviously you grew up in a church, but you mentioned you had a rebellious stage. What happened?"

"It actually happened gradually. It was actually due to an elderly man that opened my eyes to life in general."

He paused, closing his eyes for a moment, and I squeezed his hand.

"The man was a member of the congregation of the church my father was the pastor of at the moment. He lived alone and was often ill, so starting in high school, my mom would have me visit him and bring him supplies. I also did errands for him when he was too ill to do it himself.

"During high school, our conversations were mostly superficial, but I knew he enjoyed the visits just the same. I actually came to like them as well. He had great stories about growing up and everything he experienced. He was a World War II veteran stationed in the Pacific."

"Wow."

"Yeah, he was an amazing man. Anyway, it was Christmas break my sophomore year of college when I started wondering more about his life. I started asking more personal questions, which he had no qualms about answering. I found that he once had a wife and a child, but they died while he was over in Europe during the war. The child was only three years old, and he had only been married for four years."

"The poor man."

"That's what I thought, but as he showed me pictures of his wedding and of him and his wife just days after the baby was born, his smile was bittersweet. I asked him how he kept from going crazy.

"He looked me in the eye and said, 'God. He loves me and I know He is protecting Sophia and Matthew in Heaven. There is a purpose for everything, and his love kept me going through all these years. One day I will see him.' His voice was so sure; I knew he believed in every word that he said."

"That's amazing."

Edward nodded, "I know. If I was in his situation, I could see myself just totally rejecting God, wondering what kind of god would do that to me. I learned that there were more tragedies in his life, including the premature death of his brother, a period where he had no job and was practically begging on the streets. But he never let it get to him. He was one of the most faithful people I had ever met."

"What happened?"

Edward cleared his throat and his voice got low. "Senior year of college, I was talking to Mom on the phone. I had just broken up with Tanya and was feeling low. Mom was letting me know about everything that was going on, but then she snuck in the fact that the man had died."

"Oh."

"I felt horrible; I think I cried that whole night. I didn't even have a chance to say good-bye. But at the same time, I felt a sense of peace. I knew he was with his wife and child with God. That was the same day that I rededicated myself to Him. Mr. Rigley's faith showed me what it truly meant to be a Christian and know God."

I didn't know what to say. It was an incredible story.

"Hold on." Within a second, Edward had stood up from his couch and ran upstairs. A moment later, he was back at my side holding a worn Bible. "I was surprised to find that I was in his will. He didn't have much to give away, obviously, but he left me this."

Edward handed me the Bible and I fingered the leather cover lightly. While it was still in my hands, Edward opened it to a page that held an old black and white picture of a young man and a woman holding a child.

"That's him." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes. That's him."

No words were spoken. At that moment I felt closer to Edward than I had ever felt. It was as if he shared a part of his soul to me, and it was an evening I'd never forget.

_I raise my hands, bow my head  
I'm finding more and more truth in the words written in red  
They tell me that there's more to life than just what I can see  
Oh I believe_


	17. Chapter 17: A Clumsy Shotgun Rider

_**A/N: **__This is just some corny Bella and Edward fluffy fluff to celebrate the New Year. We got duets, a dancing Bella, and a possessive Edward…_

_You better enjoy the fluff while it lasts. In two chapters (or the next depending on how it pans out), angst makes her reappearance…_

_Thank you all for your reviews. I read every one of them and appreciate them all._

**Chapter 17: Clumsy**

_EPOV_

Since the evening three days prior, Bella and I only seemed to become closer emotionally and spiritually. We even took the step of beginning to pray with each other everyday.

I knew God was showing me that even with the screwed up beginning of our relationship, He was making something good out of it.

Now it was a Friday about two months before the wedding, and Bella and I, as well as Alice and Jasper were in my Volvo on the way to Seattle for some wedding preparations that could not be done in Forks.

Well, according to Alice, they couldn't be _fashionably_ done in Forks.

Emmett and Rose were joining us on the trip, but they had their final teacher work-day and could not leave until later. Alice didn't want to wait for them; she wanted to start dragging Bella to wedding shops so that they could narrow down their selections and show Rose their choices the next day.

Bella already confided in me that she was looking forward to the time away, but not the "torture" Alice was going to inflict on her. I could feel her pain. Alice planned on dragging the guys and me out to pick out tuxes. I had a feeling that it wasn't going to be so much as the guys choosing them; it was more like Alice was going to choose them, while we stood back and let her work.

But I loved my sister, and knew that she only wanted the best for us. Besides, it made her happy to do the planning, and honestly, I would do anything to make my sister happy.

We were about halfway to Seattle, and we were all having fun singing along to Bella's ipod. I loved times like these; when I could listen to Bella singing without her worrying about an audience. She had the most beautiful voice that she could alter from singing rock to pop to country to Broadway. I truly believed that if she had wanted to, she could have made it in show business. But I also knew that Bella would not be comfortable with fame and attention. She was perfectly happy as she was.

It was a secret among my siblings that I liked to sing, but the only time anybody would catch me if it were just with my siblings or their respective significant others.

"You know what, guys?" Alice asked in between songs. "I bet you two would sound awesome in a duet together."

Bella snickered. "Is that right?"

"Yeah. Your voices compliment each other. Here, let me choose a song. It has to be something you both know."

Alice searched for several moments before she finally picked a song. The twangy introduction to a Tim McGraw song started.

Now, I was never a country fan. I suppose I still wasn't, but being around Bella, who would listen to anything except rap, I unwillingly managed to memorize songs she listened to a lot. Tim McGraw was one of her favorites, and this song was on top of her favorite song by him, so I immediately knew the song.

"This doesn't count, Alice," I complained. "It's mostly a guy's part."

"Oh shush. Bella can do harmonies better than you, so she needs a song where she's the second part."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes as the singing part started.

However much I could complain, "Shotgun Rider" was actually a fun song, and I enjoyed every minute of watching Bella's happy face as she sang Faith Hill's harmony.

_She said rodeo man where are you going?  
Don't you know that the life of a cowboy is no good alone?  
If you tear down that fence of rusty barbed wire,  
Then I'll lay down beside you and be your shotgun rider._

But true to our personalities, we began to overdo the twang to make it a little more comical. By the end, everybody in the car was in hysterics.

"Do you want me to be your shotgun rider?" Bella teased as the song came to the end.

"Anytime, babe, anytime," I grinned at her.

_Woman, come lay down beside me and be my shotgun rider_

"How do you think Bella's taking the shopping?" Jasper asked me while we flipped through some CDs in a local music shop.

"I don't know. Bella doesn't like shopping, but hopefully she'll like it better because it's for her wedding dress. I think it's tomorrow when they are going to the spa and do other random shopping that she's dreading more."

While Alice and Bella were out wedding shopping, Jasper and I decided to go peruse music and book stores. We were going to meet the girls, as well as Emmett and Rosalie, at a local restaurant at eight and then head back to the hotel to rest for the inevitable long day Saturday would be.

"I suppose. Are you ready for tux shopping tomorrow?"

I sighed, "I guess. It should only last a couple of hours but then we can do whatever we want."

"Yeah," Jasper answered absentmindedly, looking over a CD case. "Hey," he spoke as he put away the CD, "wouldn't it be fun if we could all go to a Mariner's game on Sunday? They have an afternoon game."

I grinned, "That sounds like a great idea."

"And it would get Alice back for the torture she's going to put us through."

"But is it fair to the other girls?" I frowned.

He shrugged, "I don't think Rose is necessarily opposed to it. What about Bella?"

"I don't know," I murmured. "We never talked about sports. I don't think she would mind it too much." But what did I truly know?

"Well, we can see if we can get tickets online later. What time is it now?"

I glanced at my watch. "Seven thirty. We better get going if we're going to meet everybody on time."

With that, we left to hail a cab to make it to the other side of the city.

It turns out we didn't have to hurry after all. We made it with ten minutes to spare, and Emmett and Rose were the only ones that met us by eight. We went ahead to get a table and wait for Bella and Alice, who finally joined us at twenty after.

As Bella sat down, I pulled her chair closer to me so I could give her a kiss hello. She was slightly flushed, but she had a big smile on her face.

"How did it go?" I whispered, wanting the conversation to be just between us.

She grinned even larger. "Good. Alice and I narrowed the dresses down to three, but I have a favorite."

"So she didn't hassle you to death?" I smirked.

Bella shook her head as she reached for her glass of water. "No. How could I not enjoy shopping for my own wedding dress?"

When Bella, with obvious happiness in her eyes, said that, I didn't know how to reply; so I reached forward to kiss her so more.

I must have lingered too long four our friends' tastes because all of a sudden I felt a straw wrapper hitting me in my cheek. I pulled away to see Emmett with a straw in his hand and a goofy grin on his face.

"Come on guys," he teased. "We can only take so much!"

Even I had to laugh at his expression, and soon we all settled into an easy conversation as we ate. We were all excited to be away from Forks, if only for a weekend. There was also a sense of excitement as the purpose of the trip was for the two weddings that were quickly approaching.

As dinner was winding down, Alice noticed that the restaurant employees were clearing the floor of the tables and chairs, and there was a DJ in the back setting up his equipment.

"Ooh!" she exclaimed. "It looks like this plays turns into a club! We should stay a bit."

Bella raised her eyebrows. "And do what exactly? Go 'clubbing'?"

My sister shrugged, "Just dance a bit and have a little fun. We don't have to stay long."

Rose's face lit up, "That sounds like a good idea! We haven't gone in a while."

Bella, meanwhile, was shaking her head furtively. "No way. You know I'd look like I had some sort of disorder out there."

Meanwhile, I seemed to be stuck on Rose's comment. "What do you mean a while? I didn't know you girls went in the first place."

Emmett chuckled. "Yeah, these girls used to be dancing queens."

"Did you go?" I turned to Bella. She turned red and nodded.

I smiled. I didn't oppose her going dancing, but I could only imagine an awkward Bella on the dance floor.

"We never drank at clubs," Bella explained, "and we never danced with guys. We just went to dance."

"It's okay," I laughed, taking Bella's hand. "I don't care. I just find it… _amusing_ that you would go dancing."

"Hey!" she exclaimed, slapping my arm. "Be nice!"

I laughed loudly. "Come on, Bella! You trip over your own two feet! How can I picture you dancing?"

My fiancée began to pout and crossed her arms over her chest.

Still chuckling because I knew she was playing, I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, kissing her cheek. "Come on, honey. You know I'm kidding."

As she was relaxing in my hold, the first notes of a familiar song began over the sound system, and Alice and Rose both let out squeals.

"Come on Bella!" Alice rose, taking Bella's hand. "This is your song; you have to go out there with us!"

_Her song? A Fergie song is Bella's song?_ Somehow I could not picture it.

But Bella stayed firmly in her seat. "No! I'm not going out there to make a full of myself. Besides, I'm pregnant!"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Bella, nobody who doesn't know you can tell, and dancing is not going to put your baby in danger."

"Edward!" Bella whined, looking towards me.

But I didn't feel like playing the knight in shining armor. Truth be told, I was actually curious to see Bella dance. It may sound mean, but I was sure it would be amusing.

"Edward!" Bella pleaded again, and I held up my hands signaling that I was to have no decision in this. But with that, I inadvertently made the decision to let Rose and Alice drag my Bella onto the dance floor, leaving Jasper, Emmett, and I laughing.

At first, Bella just stood on the dance floor between Alice and Rosalie, barely swaying to the beat. But as her friends grabbed her hands and forced her to move, she began laughing and finally gave in to the catchiness of the song.

The song was actually ironic, and I can see where Alice and Rosalie called it "Bella's song." She wasn't exactly the most graceful on her feet, and was clumsy even when she wasn't "in love" as the song suggested.

I actually was amazed that she was a pretty good dancer, and although she was not dancing in a seductive manner, I still felt a pull towards her.

I took a last swig of my bear, and setting the bottle on the table I asked, "Well, boys, what do you say about joining the ladies."

"I'm game." Of course Emmett was. He could hardly keep his hands off Rosalie, and I'm sure he was feeling the separation now.

Jasper smiled and replied, "I'm in."

_Yeah, he's in, but he better watch himself around my sister._

Just as I was getting to the dance floor, I caught a man eyeing my Bella and making his way towards her.

_Like hell you will._

I quickened my pace and just as the man was going to cut in to dance with Bella, I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards me.

Her instincts told her to pull away before she saw that it was me who grabbed her, but as soon as she realized, she moved closer to me as I wrapped an arm around her waist.

Leaning down, I whispered in her ear, "You really shouldn't dance in public."

"Am I really that bad?" She asked frowning up at me.

"No. That's the problem." I nodded towards the guy who made his way back to the crowd. "Some creep was going to try to dance with you."

With her eyes glowing with mirth, Bella grinned up at me. "Why aren't you the possessive one? I kind of like it."

I let out a growl as I pulled her even closer. "You are mine, Bella. Don't ever forget that."

She giggled as she stood on her toes to give me a soft kiss on the lips. "I wouldn't have it any other way.

_You got me tripping, stumbling, flipping, fumbling  
Clumsy cause I'm falling in love  
You got me slipping, tumbling, sinking, fumbling  
Clumsy cause I'm falling in love  
So in love with you_


	18. Chapter 18: Nah!

_**A/N:**__Thank you all again for the great reviews. They make me happy ___

_This chapter has it all… girl time, sexist Emmett, a frisky Edward, a blast from the past, and talk about big breasts. Yeah. It's that good._

_The song in this chapter is "Nah!" by Shania Twain_

**Chapter 18: Nah!**

_That's it! (That's all!) We had fun!  
(We had a ball!)  
It was good while it lasted--  
But now I'm past it.  
It was short! It was sweet!  
Sure you swept me off my feet  
I miss you now and then,  
But would I do it all again--Nah--_

You won't find me  
Naked and cold just sittin' on the doctor's table  
Waitin' to be told just why I'm no longer able  
To feel my heart beatin'--  
Give me a good reason why!  
I kinda went numb just around about the time you told me  
You were movin' on, and you said that you were gonna phone me  
It's been so long, and there ain't nothin' wrong with the line.

_BPOV_

I sighed as I stared at myself in the mirror. I was dressed only in a bra and underwear as I waited for Alice and Rose to prepare to dress me in my favorite wedding dress.

"Has it seriously been long enough for me to be showing?" My hand instinctively went to lay itself on my slightly protruding stomach. My other hand went to my face, which had been filling out lately.

"Well, Bella, you _are_ almost three months along," Alice rolled her eyes. "Besides, you can only tell when you're half naked."

"Yeah, well I can tell when I try to button my jeans," I retorted. I didn't know why I was so upset about my ever-growing stomach. I knew it was going to happen, and the reason why it _was_ happening gave me extreme joy. Maybe it was just the reality of the situation setting in.

Rose walked over with the dress in her arms in such a way to keep it open wide enough to slip it over my head. "Stop your whining and put on this dress. I'm anxious to see it on you."

As the silky fabric passed over my body, I turned to look at myself in the three way mirror as Alice and Rosalie zipped the dress and buttoned all the tiny silk covered buttons that covered the zipper.

I gasped at the image before me. True, I had seen myself in the dress the prior night, but without a doubt, I knew the dress was for me. The off-white satin fit snuggly over my chest, where an empire waist fell just below my breasts. The rest of the dress flowed smoothly down my body, giving plenty of room for my stomach and hips to grow a little. The front of the dress ended just at the floor, while the back cascaded to a chapel length train.

The satin part of the dress was essentially strapless, if not for the delicate lace overlay. The lace just covered my shoulders as both sides met right below my bust, leaving to top of the satin dress visible. From where the lace met, it separated again to reveal the skirt of the satin dress. The lace was an inch shorter than the dress, but it still followed the length of the train.

"Now to complete the look," Alice murmured as she placed the circular veil on the crown of my head. Ever since I saw the veil the young girl wore in _Under the Tuscan Sun_, I knew I wanted to wear a veil just like it. It was hemmed all around with the same lace that covered my dress.

None of us said a word as we stared at me in the mirror. I could not believe that the vision before me was _me_. The dress transformed me from everyday Bella to a bride, and the transformation was amazing.

"Perfect," Rose whispered.

I couldn't say it better myself.

"I can't believe you decided to let the guys pick out their tuxes themselves," I laughed at Alice.

"Well, they were going to complain anyway," she shrugged her shoulders. She looked to be the picture of tranquility as she sat in a massaging chair, her feet soaking in warm, bubbling water, while her head was thrown back with a damp washcloth over her eyes. "I trust Jasper, anyway. He knows better than to pick out anything outlandish. Edward has a classy sense, too. He won't disappoint."

Rose made an un-ladylike snort. "Now, if it was Emmett on the other hand…"

"… They'd all be dressed in fluorescent green tuxes," I finished, setting us off in laughter at the vision of the three men in lime green.

After finalizing the sale of the dress, along with an expedited shipment date, Rose, Alice, and I went to the mall for an enjoyable shopping trip. Well, enjoyable for them; not so enjoyable for me.

Alice attempted to make me try on maternity clothes, but I adamantly refused. As far as I was concerned, I sill would be able to fit in regular sized clothing. Besides, I remember hearing somewhere that the longer I put off wearing maternity clothes until the shape of my body absolutely needed it, the longer I could wear flattering clothes. So, I bought several pairs of pants two sizes too big and several shirts that accommodated my ever-growing chest.

Of course, this got teenage-like giggles from Alice and Rosalie who found it necessary to comment on my bigger breasts.

Seriously, were they like twelve years old?

What I didn't want to tell them that it secretly made me a little pleased. I was always on the small size, and the fact that I was developing curves in that area made me a little bit happy.

After our shopping trip, we made our way to the spa where we got first class treatment from head to toe. I put up a fuss when Alice and Rose wanted to do this, but as I sat in the chair, I realized that the relaxation was helping my stress level of planning a wedding in only several months.

"I hate to kill the mood," Alice spoke as she took the washcloth away from her eyes. "But has Dad mentioned anything to find a replacement?"

I frowned as I thought about the inevitable occurrence. "Not since a couple of weeks ago. I think they are taking applications, and then Carlisle wants me to help with the selection."

Alice nodded, but Rose had a perturbed expression on her face. "It's so stupid!" I looked at her with a confused expression. "You're being forced from a job you love and are _good _at even though I doubt any member of the church could say they are flawless. Who knows what half the congregation does in their free time?"

"Rose, nobody is perfect. I think we all know that," Alice explained.

I looked down at my newly manicured hands as I gave the best explanation to my friend. "But their flaws are hidden, Rose. Yeah, they sin just like we do, but my sin is obvious to everybody around us. If I was just another member of the church, there probably wouldn't be _as _much controversy. But, I'm not. I'm a role model for all the youth, and if Carlisle kept me as the youth minister, he'd be sending a message that what I did wasn't wrong."

"What makes it wrong?" Rose countered.

"I don't know," I rolled my eyes. "Maybe the whole no sex before marriage thing?"

"You know as well as I do that there is no verse…" she began.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. There is no verse in the Bible that explicitly says that sex before marriage is forbidden. But there are verses that tell us we are to live pure lives. And the majority of Christians believe that this means that we should save sex for marriage." I paused before continuing, "I did, and I _still_ do, Rose. I can't go on leading a youth group telling kids I believe one thing while my body is exposing the fact that I did the other."

Rose replied, "But isn't it saying something about how you are dealing with this? You are admitting your mistake and living your life?"

I shrugged, "I guess. But I just have to do that from the sidelines."

Rose didn't say anything more, but I glanced over at Alice who was looking down at her lap, clearly uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation. I desired for the atmosphere to lighten as well, so I brought up the planned event for the next day: the Mariners' game.

However, that only elicited groans from my two friends as the bemoaned the fact that they would have to sit through nine innings of "boredom." I never got into watching sports with my father, so I wasn't exactly looking forward to the game, either, but I thought it was a new experience and I might as well try it out; especially since Edward seemed into it.

So when the guys asked us if we could go to the game before heading back to Forks, I agreed. After all, what's the worst that could happen?

"Okay, Bella. See that guy on the mound? He's going to throw the ball, while that guy in front of home base is going to try to hit it with the bat," Edward slowly spoke as he pointed to the field. "If he hits it, he's going to try to run around the bases until he gets back to where he started."

"Hardy har har," I rolled my eyes. "I think I know _that_ much about baseball."

"You said you knew nothing!"

"You love to tease me."

Edward put his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me to him. "You know I do."

I grinned and glanced at him from the corner of my eyes, but I quickly slapped him lightly on his shoulder when I saw where his eyes were. "Hey, eyes up here, buster."

He smirked as he looked up. "I can't help it. You do realize that they've gotten bigger, right?"

I sighed as I attempted to pull my tank top higher while trying to close my jersey over my chest. When we got to the stadium, Edward insisted on buying me a jersey for some reason. I was already wearing a shirt over a tank top, so I thought I could take my top shirt off and put the jersey on over my tank top.

Well, there were two problems. First, my tank top sometimes fell to reveal some cleavage. Second, those jerseys were made for men; they had no room for hips or a chest, so I couldn't close it completely. I tried to take it off and wear it some other time with an appropriate shirt under it, but Edward insisted I had to wear it to the game.

Now I knew why.

Suddenly, I felt a peanut hit my cheek. I glanced over to Emmett who was sitting there with a huge grin on his face. "Oh, give him a break, Bella! He's just a guy. Just let loose like Rose and make the best of it."

I rolled my eyes again at his comment about his wife. When Rose put the jersey on that Emmett bought for her, she immediately pulled her tank top _down._

"Now go do what God made Eve to do and get me some beer!" Emmett demanded, which only earned a slap from Rose. "Ow! What was that for?"

"For being a sexist pig," Rose scoffed.

For the second time in two innings, I had to use the restroom so I stood up. I thought since I was up I might as well get Emmett his beer.

"You're not going to go do that, are you?" Rose asked, surprised.

I shrugged. "I have to go to the restroom anyway. I might as well get him a drink."

"Babe?" I felt a tug on my hand as I looked down at my fiancée who was attempting to put his best innocent expression on his face. "Can you get me one, too?"

I rolled my eyes, but nodded. I felt him tug on my hand again. "Kiss?"

I smiled as I leaned down to kiss him quickly, but he put his hand on my waist to keep me still for a moment. It wasn't until I felt the hand sliding up my torso that I realized what he was doing.

"Edward!" I squealed as I pulled away quickly. "What are you doing?"

He gave me a mischievous smirk as he simple stated, "You know you like it."

I huffed and turned around to make my way to the stairs. I didn't know what got into Edward lately. He wasn't being pushy or presumptuous, but his gentlemanly exterior was crumbling. It probably was because he got to spend the whole weekend with Emmett.

But truthfully, I kind of enjoyed his attention; I just wasn't going to tell him that.

It seemed like I had to wait forever in a long line of women to even get into the bathroom, and by time I was done, the lines to the food stands were a mile long. I briefly wondered if I was even going to make it back by the end of the game when I heard somebody calling my name.

"Bells?"

Nobody called me Bells. Nobody since…

I turned around to see my high school sweetheart standing there with shock on his face. He had definitely grown up since high school. He had to be at least six feet five, and his muscles had filled out. His long black hair was pulled into a ponytail and his skin was the beautiful tan skin I remembered it to be.

"Jacob." It was more a statement than a question. We hadn't parted on the politest of terms, and since I moved from Phoenix, I never thought I would see him again.

He didn't understand my tone of voice though, and he approached to wrap me in a hug. "I've missed you."

I wiggled out of his grasp and asked the only question came to mind. "What are you doing in Seattle?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he smirked.

"I asked first." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I live here now."

"Oh."

"You?"

"I live in a small town west of here."

"What do you do?"

I sighed. I really didn't want to be in this position right now. It took me so long to get over Jacob, and although I did not feel even any nostalgic feelings towards him, I was annoyed at his presence and wanted to be with Edward again.

"I'm a youth minister."

"Wow. I thought that was a phase you were going to grow out of."

My eyes flashed with anger as I glared at my ex-boyfriend. "Of course you would," I answered bitterly.

"Look, Bella, I didn't mean to insult you." We stood in awkward silence for a moment before he spoke again. "Bella, I always meant to apologize for the way I treated you."

I looked at him in shock. "Jacob, it's been seven years. I forgot all about it."

He shook his head. "No, I need to say this. You didn't deserve it and I was an ass. I never got to apologize to you since I haven't seen you since graduation."

"You could've called," I pointed out.

"I didn't have your number."

"It was the same in college as it was in high school. Besides, you could've asked Charlie." I didn't even know why I was standing there arguing with him. It was all water under the bridge, and I couldn't change anything now. "Jacob, I have to go. My friends will be wondering where I am."

He reached out to grab my arm. "Wait! Don't go. Can I see you again? Maybe meet up for lunch or coffee?"

"I live three and a half hours away, Jake. I don't think that's going to happen."

"Well, how long are you here for?"

I was getting tired of his insistency. "We're leaving after the game. Really, it was nice seeing you, but I have to…"

"Bella!" I let out a relieved breath as I felt the comforting arm around my waist. "What is taking you so long?"

I glanced at Jacob who suddenly took a step back and stood up straighter. "Oh nothing. I was just talking to an old friend."

I saw the light of recognition in Edward's eyes as Jacob's name registered in his memory. Jacob reached out a hand to shake Edward's. "Nice to meet you. I'm Jacob, Bella's ex-boyfriend."

"Hi Jacob. I'm Bella's fiancée, _Dr._ Edward Cullen."

Was it just me or did both of them puff out their chests? Were they going to start beating them next?

"Oh. Bella didn't mention she was engaged."

I let out a puff of air. "We talked for like a minute. I didn't exactly have time to sneak that in there."

"So when's the wedding?"

"August second," Edward grinned. "Only two months away. We were in Seattle for the weekend to do some wedding planning."

"Two months, huh?" Jacob shrugged. "Plenty of time for somebody to change her mind."

I glared at Jake. What audacity! I was about to share a piece of my mind with him, but Edward beat me to it, but in a much more polite manner. "I don't think so. I wouldn't let Bella go for anything. Even if it meant I had to be celibate for the rest of my life."

My eyes widened at Edward's obvious jab at the reason why my relationship with Jake ended the way it did. I noticed Jake's eyes narrow, but once again, Edward spoke before anybody else could.

Looking down at me, he spoke, "Well, the others want to leave before the game is over so we can beat traffic and make it home before dark. Are you ready?"

"Yeah," I smiled at him. "I am."

I said my good-bye to Jacob as the men retracted their peacock feathers and we turned to move in the opposite direction.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward's voice was concerned as he tightened his grasp around my waist.

"Yeah. It was just a shock seeing him here."

Edward stopped us from walking as he turned to take my hands in his own. "Are you sure? We can go someplace to talk if you need to, or ask Alice and Jasper to rise with Em and Rose…"

I pulled my hand from his grasp to the collar of his shirt, and silenced him the best way I knew how: by pulling him down to meet me in a kiss.

When we parted, he smirked and responded, "I guess you're okay."

I nodded before pulling him down again. As we slowly kissed, I felt him smile against my lips. I was about to pull back wondering what he was up to, but I soon realized why he was smiling when I felt his hand directly above the neckline of my tank.

"Edward Cullen!" I softly exclaimed as not draw any attention from the crowd.

"What?" His face looked so innocent that I couldn't do anything but laugh as I grabbed his hand and started walking in the direction we startled.

After all, boys will be boys.


	19. Chapter 19: Beaty from Pain

_**A/N: **__*Crawls out of woodwork* So I wish I could say that I had a valid reason for the delay in posting, but I don't. It's Minesweeper. It has consumed my soul._

_Oh, and I know it's been like two or three weeks ago (I can't keep track) but I would like to give props to Ben from the Steelers. He's the only talented football player to be a starter and win two superbowls from my alma mater of Miami of Ohio. He was also responsible for me being able to witness miami actually winning some big football games. haha. Believe me, that's an accomplishment._

_So this chapter is bittersweet... Rumors start, but there's a happy moment or two in it. Oh, probably most of the chapters from here on out will be Bella's point of view. Edward would be a couple, and there will be a surprise POV later on._

_At the end, I have a question I would like your opinion on... It has to do with announcing the sex of the baby._

_Thanks for all the reviews, and to vjgm for being my validator. Song is "Beauty from Pain" by Superchic(k)_

**Chapter 19 – Beauty from Pain**

_The lights go out all around me  
One last candle to keep out the night  
And then the darkness surrounds me  
I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died  
And all that's left is to accept that it's over  
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made  
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder  
I feel like I'm slipping away_

_My whole world is the pain inside me  
The best I can do is just get through the day  
When life before is only a memory  
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place  
And though I can't understand why this happened  
I know that I will when I look back someday  
And see how You've brought beauty from ashes  
And made me as gold purified through these flames_

"Do you have time to talk a while?"

The sound of Carlisle's voice startled me as I worked on my lessons Monday morning. "Sure. Come on in."

By the expression of Carlisle's face, I knew whatever he had to talk about was not going to be pleasant, at least on my end. He usually greeted me with a smile, but his mouth was pressed in a thin line, showing the tension he obviously felt.

"How was your weekend in Seattle?" he asked.

"Fun. We did everything we needed to do, including getting my wedding dress and picking out the bridesmaids' dresses."

He nodded, "Good, good." Carlisle lapsed into silence again, looking at his hands in his lap, an action that was so uncharacteristic of him.

"Carlisle, what's wrong?" I asked tentatively.

"Rumors are going around, Bella," he answered bluntly.

"Oh."

I knew it was going to happen sooner than later. The congregation was going to put two and two together when they realized that Edward and I were getting married and as I started to grow. However, I didn't think it would be this soon, especially since I was not obviously showing.

"They didn't think anything of it when you and Edward got engaged, Bella. Getting engaged quickly is not really uncommon, especially since you could have been just hiding your relationship before. But then the word got out that you were going to get married this summer…"

I interrupted him, "But that doesn't prove anything."

"No," Carlisle shook his head, "it doesn't. But Bella, people have noticed that you're… I mean, you're not showing, but… Your face…" Carlisle was stuttering to find words that would not hurt my feelings.

"I'm gaining weight," I stated with certainty.

Carlisle nodded. "I'm sorry, but we're going to have to speed up the process of finding a replacement for you."

Biting my bottom lip, the only thing I could do was nod.

"I still want you involved in the process, Bella. You've turned the youth program around, and your input in deciding who will replace you will be valuable."

I gave a slight smile and nodded. "Okay."

"Bella, I hate to have to do this, but it's best that we get it out of the way before the truth becomes evident."

"Carlisle," I reached out and touched his arm, "I understand completely. I knew this day would come. You don't have to feel bad about it; really."

"Well," he slapped his hands down on his lap before standing. "We're going to try to set up the first interview for later this week. I'll let you know when."

I forced a smile, responding, "Okay. Sounds good, Carlisle."

It was only when he shut the door behind him that I finally let the tears fall.

I jumped as I heard a knock on the door. "Come in," I called out from the examination room bed, where I was waiting for Edward to join me. As the door opened, the very man I was thinking about glided through the entrance.

"Hey," he greeted, leaning down for a kiss. "How are you?"

"Excited," I answered, wringing my hands. "We can finally hear our baby's heartbeat." However, as the events of the day were brought back to me, my smile faltered, which did not go unnoticed by my fiancée.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Edward immediately grabbed my clasped hands. "Aren't you happy?"

I opened my mouth, ready to answer, but as soon as the first word was formed, Tanya entered the room with a friendly, "Hello! Are we ready to hear our baby's heartbeat?"

I had to smile at Tanya's enthusiasm. Even though I only met her once before, I knew she was cheerful woman who loved her job. There was still a light pang in my chest at the thought that she was Edward's love in college, but I quickly brushed it aside, reminding myself that the past was the past and Edward was with _me_ now.

After greeting us, she flipped over my chart, I imagine to look over my weight and blood pressure which a nurse had already taken.

"All right. Blood pressure is good, and you're gaining weight at a good pace. Are there any problems so far? Has your morning sickness decreased?"

"Nope, no problems. And I barely have any morning sickness at all anymore."

"Good," Tanya smiled at me. "That's what I like to hear."

After some more routine questions as well as a routine check-up, Tanya pulled over a small machine with what looked like a probe to the side of the bed, and Edward grinned down at me, squeezing my hand.

"Now's the moment we've been waiting for," my doctor smiled as she put some gel on me and gently began rubbing the probe across my stomach. While biting her lip, Tanya slowly grazed my stomach until she grinned as a stead "whoosh" sound reached our ears.

Edward immediately noticed it as the heartbeat, and a grin spread over his face as he squeezed my hand. "That's it," he simply stated.

As I heard our baby's heartbeat, a lump started to form in my throat as my eyes watered. I couldn't get past how amazing a pregnancy actually was. There was a little human growing inside of me with a tiny heart that was beating. And hearing my own child made it seem like even more of a miracle.

"Is he healthy?" I asked.

"Perfectly so," Tanya grinned at me. "I don't detect anything wrong at all."

With those words, my exam ended, and within minutes, Edward and I were in the elevator on our way to the lobby.

"I still have some time before I have to get back to work if you want to grab something to eat with me in the cafeteria," Edward stated as the doors closed behind us.

"Sure," I squeezed his hand. "I would like that."

He turned his head to face forward, but I could see him staring at me from the corner of his eye. "And then you can tell me what's bothering you."

I sighed deeply. "Okay."

Fifteen minutes later, we were seated at a table with food in front of us. "So what's going on?" Edward didn't waste any time getting to the point.

I started picking at my salad, staring down at it so I didn't have to look at Edward. "Carlisle came to see me this morning."

"Oh?"

"Apparently rumors are already starting."

"I see." Edward leaned back in his chair, folding his arms around his chest, but he didn't say anything more for a while.

I continued playing with my food for a while before Edward reached over and grabbed my hand that held my fork. "So what's going on?"

"They're going to start interviewing for my replacement this week."

"Bella, I'm so sorry."

I shook my head, fighting back tears. "Don't be. I knew this was coming eventually."

Suddenly, Edward was out of his seat and in the chair next to mine. He put his arms around me and pulled me close, gently rubbing my back. It was then that I let my tears flow freely, not caring that we were in public. I grasped his lab coat as I buried my face into his chest, wetting his shirt with my tears.

"I don't know what to do to make this all right," my fiancée whispered into my hair. "I need to make this right."

I felt guilty that he was taking this upon his shoulders, when in fact, I was just thankful that he was here with me. "Just love me," I whispered.

"Always, Bella. Always."

The week went by slowly, but what made it worse was that it seemed like all the Cullens were stepping lightly around me. They were acting as if I was a fragile doll ready to break at the slightest trouble.

In a way, I was grateful. I was able to work out my problems with myself and God, without anybody else interfering.

But on the other hand, I knew I wasn't that fragile, and there was no reason to act any differently. I was going to be replaced eventually; it was not news to me. I just wished that it hadn't happened so soon.

It was with this mentality that I entered the conference room at the church for the first interview. I was the first person that arrived, so I took a seat to wait for Carlisle and the rest of the people doing the interviews. Most of them were elders of the church, members who were generally old enough to be retired and who had been members of the church for a while. However, Carlisle had invited several parents of students who were involved in the youth group to sit in on the interviews to get their opinions.

I was nervous about the interview sessions; I knew that the rumors would only be strengthened as word got out that we were searching for a new youth minister. People would automatically make the assumption that I was stepping down due to a pregnancy.

Well, who could blame them? It was true.

Suddenly the door opened, and in walked Carlisle. He gave me a small smile before taking his seat at the head of the table. After greeting me he stated, "The others will be here in a second. I saw most of them walking in to the church just a moment ago."

I nodded, biting my lip. True to Carlisle's word, the door opened and in walked five other people. Attempting to act normal, I gave a smile to each one as they entered, but I was quickly disheartened as each person turned his or her head, refusing to look at me. I had to hold back a sob as even the parents of one of my kids refused to look at me. Mr. and Mrs. Hillock were always friendly with me, talking about how their son, Joe, loved the program. Now they couldn't even stand to look at me.

"Carlisle, why is _she _here?" I was startled by the voice of the kind Mr. Smock, talking as if I weren't even in the room.

"Peter," Carlisle sighed, rubbing his face. "Don't start this. Bella has been an invaluable leader at this church."

"Carlisle, Peter is right," Mrs. Willow pronounced.

"Enough," Carlisle's voice began to show tension. "Don't forget that Bella is in this room."

"Just because she's carrying your grandchild out of wedlock," Mr. Smock sneered, "Doesn't mean you have to protect her."

I watched in shock as my future father-in-law turned red. I never saw him this angry.

"In fact," Mr. Smock continued, "we should question whether or not you are still suited…"

This time Carlisle lost it. "ENOUGH!" he bellowed, making everybody, including me, freeze. Everybody remained frozen in their seats as Carlisle looked everybody in the eye. "Let us remember what Jesus said. Only those of you without sin may cast the first stone."

It was the truth of Carlisle's words, probably along with everybody's shock at Carlisle's anger, which effectively stopped any more opinions about my presence at the meeting. I was sure their thoughts had not changed much, but at least their mouths remained closed in regards to what I had done.

Shortly after the outburst, the first interviewee was announced by Esme as she led the young man to into the room before quickly leaving.

Paul had just graduated from seminary and was seeking to be the minister to a church just like this one. He certainly seemed to be a good candidate, and his love for God as well as children overflowed in him.

Of course, though, he was the only first candidates we were going to interview.

The first of many.

The remainder of the day passed smoothly. I vocally thanked God every time a person walked past and at least smiled at me. Either they did not hear the rumor as of yet or they didn't mind.

Or they were just pretending to be nice.

Evening had come, and I was setting up for our bi-weekly high school gathering in one of the classrooms. I was anxious because I didn't know how many of these meetings were left for me. Eventually we were going to find a suitable replacement and I would not be necessary any more.

I frowned as I looked at the clock. It was almost six thirty, and still nobody had shown. Usually by ten minutes before the meeting, there were at least a handful of kids.

The minutes ticked by. No one.

And then I realized. They weren't coming. I, as a youth minister, was a disgrace. What parent in their right mind would let their teenager attend one of my meetings?

Gasping for breath, I sat down on the floor, just curling my knees towards me. Burying my head in my knees, I let out a strangled sob as the tears started pouring again.

It was too much.

I didn't honestly think it would be this hard.

I barely could stand the thought that I wouldn't be a youth minister for that much longer, and I never thought that students would just stop coming to my meetings all together. What kind of fool was I?

"Bella?"

A soft voice called to me through my tears. Raising my head and wiping away my tears, I saw the concerned face of one of my kids.

Samantha. The one I always tried to draw out of her shell.

As soon as I met her eyes, she enveloped me in a hug. I felt embarrassed and ashamed. Here I was crying like a child on the floor with one of my students tried to comfort me.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she pulled back.

"For what?"

"My friends are jerks. Well, at least their parents are," she rolled her eyes.

"Samantha," I admonished, giving her a stern look.

"What?" she shrugged. "They're not coming because of some rumors? They're crazy."

So she thought they were just rumors. I took my bottom lip between my teeth as I contemplated the thought of letting her down when she found out the truth.

"Wait, are the rumors true?" I looked up to see her curious eyes.

I was at a loss of what to do. She was my student, and I didn't believe it was exactly the most appropriate thing to admit my pregnancy to her.

But at the same time, they were all going to find out eventually. And I knew Samantha. A senior in high school, she was at the top of her class. I also never heard her speak poorly about anybody until today.

And I so desperately wanted to confide in somebody that was not caught up in this whole mess.

But I didn't have to decide. My silence told her what she wanted to know.

"Oh, Bella," she sighed. "Even if they are true, who cares?" I gave her a questioning look. "You brought this program out of the dust. The least we could do is attend the meetings while you are still here."

I laughed sarcastically. "I don't blame them, Samantha."

She said nothing. She knew I was right.

"You're very mature for your age," I commented out of nowhere. "Look, you are the one trying to comfort the supposedly capable adult."

She gave a wry smile. "Mom says that I was born middle-aged."

This time I let out a sincere chuckle. "That's funny. My mom said the same thing about me."

"Really?" She grinned widely as she settled herself on the floor next to me against the wall. "That's funny."

We settled into silence yet again, both in our own thoughts before I spoke, "You know, Samantha, you can call your mom and tell her to pick you up. Obviously there is no meeting tonight."

"No," she shook her head. "I'd rather stay here. Besides, who said we can't have our own meeting?"

I smiled. "I guess we could."

"After all, wherever two gather in God's name, there He shall be," she commented.

We spent the next hour and a half going through what I had planned. We sang and prayed, and we had our own Bible study. It was amazing the insight that she brought to the study for someone so young. It was pleasant to be able to have a mature conversation about a Bible passage with one of my "kids."

Just as we were finishing, there was a knock on the door before Samantha's mother entered. She frowned when she saw it was just me and her daughter, and for a moment I thought she was going to take Samantha home with an order that she was never to speak to me again.

However, she sighed, "I can't believe this." She turned to me, looked me up and down, focusing on my abdomen and then my face. "It's true?"

I nodded.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Mrs. Walker asked.

"Of course. Let's sit down."

Both she and I took a seat at one of the many tables in the room, leaving Samantha where she was, but her mother called her over. "Samantha, baby, it's time that you learned this too."

My interest was piqued. Mrs. Walker was going to share something her own daughter didn't know as of yet.

"Samantha, you're eighteen." Her daughter gave her a strange look before nodding. "How long have your father and I been married?"

Samantha looked at the ceiling. I could see her counting in her head. She gasped. "I can't believe I never realized that. I feel so stupid."

I looked between the two ladies who looked so similar, yet had their differences. Mrs. Walker turned to me. "Bella, I have been married to Samantha's father for sixteen years."

"Oh."

The woman took a deep breath before continuing. "Samantha's father and I were seniors in college. We met at a Christian fellowship on campus during our sophomore years and we became friends instantly. It wasn't long until we began to date.

"By time we were seniors, we were leaders in the group. Everybody knew us. Younger students looked up to us.

"Tim and I got too close physically. In public, we were the picture-perfect Christian couple. We were pure. But behind closed doors, we were anything but."

I noticed a slight blush creep on Samantha's face. I know it was quite uncomfortable to hear about anybody's parents' sex life during marriage, never mind prior to marriage, but I was also sure it would be a lesson to her.

"I found out I was pregnant in October. Nobody knew outside of our families, but of course, after several months it became obvious to those around us. It split our fellowship in two. Even the adults who ran our chapter were divided. Some wanted to ban us from the group, as un-Christian like as it sounded. Others defended us, stating that we all sinned. Other couples even came out to share that they weren't as pure as they pretended to be. It became a big mess."

As I heard Mrs. Walker confess to what happened in college, I felt tears collect in my eyes. I could not imagine that much pain she must have felt. I also noticed that tears were silently falling down Samantha's cheeks as well.

"Tim and I depended on one each other, and on God of course. But we no longer could attend the large group meeting every week. We stopped going, but friends of ours who stood by our side had a Bible study we continued to attend.

"But the guilt we felt was unbearable. We felt as if we were the ones solely responsible for the fissure that developed in our fellowship. I never saw such arguments and pettiness before. It seemed we brought out the worst in people.

"However, the more guilt we felt, the harder we depended on God. And, Bella, He delivered. In June, Samantha was born. Two years later, Tim and I married. Three years after that, Tyler was born. Two years later, Katie. God has blessed our life beyond belief." She reached out to take my hand. "And if you let Him, He will bless yours as well."

With a silent sob, Samantha flung herself at her mother and hugged her tightly while I quietly whispered a "thank you" to Mrs. Walker.

"Remember, Bella. God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. And if whatever doesn't kill you…"

"…Will make you stronger," I completed the saying.

Just then, a clearing of a throat alerted us to a presence. Turning around, both Mrs. Walker and I saw Edward standing at the doorway. "Am I interrupting anything?"

Mrs. Walker gave him a genuine smile. "No, Samantha and I were just leaving." Standing up, she reached across the space between us and gave me a tight hug. "I'll be praying for you."

Tears forming in my eyes again, all I could do was nod my head before I watched Mrs. Walker walk out of the room with her arm around her daughter, pausing just briefly to lay a comforting hand on Edward's arm.

At least, I knew that somebody truly _understood_ what I was going through. She just didn't sympathize; she lived what I was going through and had the experience to confirm what I already knew: that I would only become stronger through these trials.

Edward was looking at me curiously with his head tilted. "You all right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm all right."

_After all this has passed, I still will remain  
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain  
Though it won't be today,  
Someday I'll hope again  
And there'll be beauty from pain  
You will bring beauty from my pain_

**A/N: **_Okay, so now I need your opinion. My intention all along was to save the sex of the baby till the birth, because I'm traditional like that. But, then I had a revelation one day... Edward is a doctor. Once he saw the ultrasound, he would know the sex. I can't see him knowing the sex of the baby, and not letting it slip to Bella... So what should I do?_


	20. Chapter 20: One Touch

_**Author's Note:**_*Sneaks out of the bunker where she's been hiding* So. Uh. Hi. I am going to start out by saying I'm a horrible person and didn't reply to anybody who asked about this story. It's because I'm ashamed. I was touched by everybody wanting me to continue, it was just... yeah. So short list of excuses: pre-req classes at comm. college, actually finding a life when I found out my friend from college lived down the street from me (seriously, in a city this big, what's the chances?), marital problems that almost left me a divorcee at age 25 (seriously, can't real men just be like Edward? Don't worry there, folks. Things are working out. My husband just needed a kick in the you know where), writer's block, and my master's program sucking the life out of me. But, I would like you to let you know that I have just sentenced myself to staying up late to study because I wrote this chapter!

Song is "One Touch" by Nicole C. Mullen. She performed this song at the Women of Faith conference last year and had me in tears.

As always, not mine.

**Chapter 20: One Touch**

_And then suddenly He turned around  
He said somebody has unleashed my power  
Well, frightened and embarrassed I bowed  
You see I told Him of my troubles  
And how..._

I had to touch the hem of His garment  
And I know I've been made whole  
And how I had pressed my way through this madness  
And His love has healed my soul.

"Geez. What's everybody's problem?" Alice muttered as we walked arm and arm into the church with Edward and Jasper trailing after us. Emmett and Rosalie were walking ahead of us.

"You know exactly what the problem is, Alice," I answered looking around at all the people staring at me. "I think everybody knows now."

"Yeah, but still. Can't people just mind their own business?"

"If it wasn't me in this situation, though, I would be staring as well. It's an awkward situation."

Alice let out a despaired sigh. "I guess."

I felt the comforting hand of Edward's on the small of my back as he leaned in to suggest we settled in our seats.

We never would sit down so early, but people were obviously avoiding us and were not talking to us. All I got were smiles from Samantha and her mother. People were even avoiding Alice and Jasper, as well as Emmett and Rosalie, who all huddled around us protectively. I guess they were guilty by association.

As we took our seats in the empty sanctuary, Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulders and reached down to kiss my head. "It'll be all right. I promise."

If only he were right.

The weeks dragged on. Wedding planning was fun, but each Sunday, as well as mostly every day at the church, I felt as if I were burning at the stake. Sure, there were people who treated me as if before and who assured me they would be praying for me, but they were few and far between. There weren't even any more youth meetings, although I did meet with Samantha every week now. We developed quite a unique bond as we studied the Bible and prayed during our meetings. Sometimes her siblings, although several years younger than her, would join us.

It helped that I had Carlisle and Esme near me during the day, though. Often, Esme would stop in to bring me something to drink and eat, and just make sure I was okay. Whenever Carlisle walked by my office, he always popped in just to say "hello."

But I worried about him. The rumor mill was working at full speed, and there were even talks among members of the church of meetings outside of the church about the situation. Some people were wondering about the strength of Carlisle's leadership, but from what the Cullens and I could gather, most people were not blaming _him._ Still, it drove a knife into me knowing that my actions caused doubt in Carlisle.

We had multiple interviews for my position as youth minister, but there did not seem to be anybody that quite fit the bill. We were beginning to wonder if we'd ever find one.

At least the elders of the church didn't try to insult me again in front of Carlisle. Some of them were even opening up to hearing my opinions. That at least gave me a bit of hope.

So it was a stormy afternoon when we all were gathered around the table waiting for the new interviewee.

"Bella, it seems she came from the same hometown as you," Carlisle mentioned as he was looking over the resume.

"Really?" I was surprised to hear this. How could another person from Phoenix even learn about Forks. "What's her name?"

"Angela Cheney."

When I heard the first name, I built up hope that it was my old friend, but the last name didn't register with me. However, I was still anxious to meet a person who came from the same area as I did.

Imagine the shock when the door opened and in walked my high-school friend who was the catalyst for my salvation.

"Angela!" I practically squealed as I jumped from my chair.

"Bella?" She looked equally surprised and pleased.

In a moment, we were both in a tight embrace as everybody looked on. But I didn't care. I was reunited with my best friend who I hadn't seen since the summer after our junior year of college.

I heard chuckling behind me as Carlisle simply stated, "I take it you know each other."

I grinned as I introduced Angela. "She is the friend who first invited me to youth group and Bible study which led me to Christ." Although most of the people in the room smiled at the fact, there were one or two who I noticed who cleared their throats in a mocking manner. Angela looked at me curiously, but I made certain that I ignored her unspoken question.

The interview went smoothly, and Angela did wonderfully as I knew she would. During the time, I was silently praying that she would be the one we would hire. It would be a huge coincidence, but I would love for my old friend to be near me again.

After the interview was over, and Angela was dismissed, I asked her to wait for me so we could talk. During the whole recap among Carlisle, the elders, and me, I was practically bouncing in my seat waiting for when I was excused to talk with Angela freely.

When the meeting finally ended, I practically ran out of the room. I found Angela in the narthex waiting patiently, reading a book. When she heard me coming she looked up and gave a big smile. Immediately we were in a big hug again, jumping up and down, and I have to admit, squealing. I'm sure we looked a site to any onlookers.

"I can't believe you're here!" I exclaimed as we finally settled down.

"I know! Imagine that I ended up in the same small town that you are in. We have so much to talk about."

"I know," I agreed as I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. It was a text from Alice.

_**The usual Friday. Your place all right?**_

__I quickly typed in an affirmative before turning my attention back to Angela. "Hey, a bunch of us are getting together at my place for dinner and hanging out. Want to join us?" I asked her hopefully.

"Of course! I have nothing better to do anyway."

"When are you going home?"

"Tomorrow," Angela sighed. "It's such a long trip, too. I live in Connecticut now."

I scrunched up my nose in disgust. "That is a long trip in a plane."

"No kidding. And to top it all off I live in the middle of nowhere so the nearest airport is almost an hour and a half away."

"Ouch."

"No kidding."

We had began walking towards the parking lot. "Where are you staying?"

"The Forks Hotel."

"You don't need to stay at a hotel!" I protested. "You can stay at my place. I don't have an extra bed, but I do have a comfortable couch. Or you can share the bed with me. It's queen sized so it'll be big enough."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course! What are friends for? I have to warn you though: I fall asleep early so it won't be a girly sleepover time," I laughed.

She returned the laughter. "That's quite all right. I'm not much for staying up late anymore, either." We paused as we reached her rental car. "So should I just follow you?"

I nodded. "Yeah. It's not far from here and there aren't many turns so it shouldn't be a problem."

"Kay. See you in a few," she grinned as she unlocked the car.

I smiled as I walked to my car. It felt like we had never been apart, and I prayed that Angela would be the one to get the youth minister position. I could think of no one better to take my place. She would be wonderful with the kids and she was even more creative than me when it came to activities and other ways to teach. Hopefully I could persuade the others that I wanted her in the position more than the selfish reason of wanting her near me.

When I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment, I noticed Alice's car in the parking lot. She probably let herself in for some reason or another. As Angela stepped out of the car, I warned her.

"My friend Alice is here. She is very hyper and friendly so I hope you don't mind being hugged by a stranger."

My friend laughed. "That's quite all right. I'm sure if she's friends with you she's not a creepy weirdo."

"Creepy? No. A weirdo? Maybe."

Laughing, we entered through the front door to find pictures of everything from table coverings to flowers scattered around the floor. Alice was in the middle of the mess with a big binder full of other wedding plans.

"Oh good! You're home!" Alice hopped up and practically danced towards me. "Oh! Who's this?"

"This is Angela, my best friend from high school. She interviewed for my position today."

"Ooh! Nice to meet you!" As predicted Alice threw herself into Angela's arms to give her a big welcoming hug, making Angela burst out in giggles. With her arms around Alice, I noticed the ring on her left hand. _That explains the different last name._

"Hey, who's the lucky guy?" I asked when Alice finally let go.

Angela's cheeks turned a little red. "Ben. We met in college and we've been married a little over a year now."

"That's great!" I grinned. "He better treat you good."

"He's the best." Happiness practically radiated from Angela and I knew the man that caught her eye must be very special.

Meanwhile, Alice took both of our hands to lead us to the couch. "Come on, we have a lot to talk about."

"What's all this?" my old friend asked. "Are you getting married?" I saw her peek at my left hand. When she spotted the ring, she grabbed my left hand to inspect it more closely. "Oh wow. What a beautiful ring. What is he a lawyer or something?"

"A pediatrician," Alice affirmed. "And he's my brother."

"Triplet actually," I laughed. Angela looked up at surprise. "Edward, my fiancée, Alice, and Emmet are triplets. They're actually Carlisle's children."

"Ooh. A preacher's son, too. What a lucky girl," she winked at me. "When's the big day?"

"August 2nd."

"Is that why you resigned from being the youth minister?" When Angela asked me this question, I could feel my cheeks become red as Alice stared at me with eyes wide open in surprise that Angela didn't know.

"Kind of." Angela looked at me with the same question in her eyes as when some elders scoffed at me being saved.

I don't know why I was so hesitant to tell Angela the whole truth. I really did trust her, even after all these years, but it felt as if I was exposing my stains to Angela's purity. But apparently I didn't have to tell Angela. Alice made the decision herself.

"She's preggers." I rolled my eyes at Alice's choice of word. "The preacher's son didn't live up to expectations."

"And neither did the youth minister," I muttered.

Angela looked at me for a minute, wide-eyed. "Oh."

"Yeah, I know," I sighed.

Silence enveloped us for what seemed like an eternity before Angela enveloped me in her arms. "I don't know whether or not to say congratulations or I'm sorry."

I shrugged. "I guess both. I mean, I'm happy about the baby and my marriage and everything, but things haven't been so comfortable at church, if you know what I mean."

Angela didn't say anything. All she did was take my hand and squeeze it. Somehow, that was enough.

"So Edward's great," Angela commented the next morning out of the blue as we were cooking breakfast.

I grinned, "Yeah, he is."

"So how long have you two been together?"

It was such an innocent question, but in my situation, the answer was so much more complicated.

"Well, we've been good friends for two years."

"Friends?" Angela raised her eyebrows. "There's something you're not telling me."

"Well, you see," I struggled to find words as I flipped the omelet. "We weren't exactly together when this baby was conceived." Once again, I felt my face go up in flames.

"Oh." Angela kept quiet as she reached for the plates. "So what happened? I mean, if you don't want to share, that's fine."

I shook my head, "No, it's all right. I guess we always have been attracted to each other. Edward told me he was in love with me before we slept together, and maybe I did love him to an extent as well. It's just one night…" I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

Angela nodded. "I understand. It was like that with me and Ben, too." I looked up at my friend in shock, and she made a sarcastic laugh. "Bella, I'm not perfect. You need to stop putting me on a pedestal." She continued, "No, I didn't get pregnant, and we were engaged before we had sex, but I fell to the same temptation as you. It's just nobody ever told me how… _difficult_ it is told hold back when you're so close to somebody. And then suddenly you're alone together and the opportunity strikes, and you're too far gone to turn back."

I nodded, not knowing what else to say. A comfortable silence followed as we finished making breakfast. It was very comforting to know that to an extent, Angela understood the type of guilt and emotions I felt after Edward and I slept together.

We were sitting down at the table when I finally spoke. "Angela, whether or not you get the job, I would love for you to come to my wedding… despite the long flight."

"I would love to," she grinned. "I wouldn't miss it for the world… Even if it does mean I have to endure a full day of travel to see it," she laughed.

"And you'd need to bring Ben. I have to officially meet the man that stole your heart."

"Of course. You never did get to approve of him. At least I gave you my approval of Edward before the tying the knot."

And with laughter, we settled into easy conversation about nothing at all.

After Angela left, I had the sudden urge to pray; but I didn't want to just pray at home. I couldn't explain it, but I was drawn to church. It was early Saturday afternoon and there weren't many people around.

The sanctuary was empty besides one of older member, Mrs. Dawson, of the church who was replacing candles around the church. I had barely sat down in a pew before I buried my head in my hands and burst into tears.

I don't know what caused it. Maybe it was all the stress of the weeks. Maybe it was the comfort the church provided me. But the moment I let it out, I could swear that I felt God wrap me up in his arms. He had me and He would heal me.

Suddenly I felt a physical touch on my shoulder. I looked up and Mrs. Dawson was looking kindly down at me. It shocked me because she was a member who had given me looks that bordered on disgust. Whereas before the news of my impending arrival, she had always been friendly to me, afterwards, she totally ignored me.

"It will be okay, child. God has you and will heal you." With just another touch on my shoulder, but without another word, Mrs. Dawson left the sanctuary as I stared at her retreating figure.

I knew then why I was drawn to the church. God had put Mrs. Dawson there for me. She was a physical representation of the understanding and forgiveness that He offers.

God truly is good.

_Then with one word He touched the hem of my garment  
And you know I've been made whole  
And somehow He pressed His way through my madness  
And His love has healed my soul._

_I tell you he touched me.  
He reached way down and touched me  
When no one else would touch me  
Your Jesus shol' 'nough he touched me...  
And I know I've been made whole_


	21. Chapter 21: Butterfly Fly Away

_**Author's Note: **__So, I told you it would be awhile, and I followed through with that, didn't I :-P I decided to speed the timeline up a bit, so we're now at the week before the wedding. The pregnancy is revealed to Bella's parents!_

_I'll have a longer author's note at the end... Song is "Butterfly Fly Away" by Miley Cyrus and her daddy, Billy Ray. Yes, I have the Hannah Montana soundtrack, and I don't even have kids._

_As usual, not mine._

**Chapter 21: Butterfly Fly Away**

_You tucked me in, turned out the light  
Kept me safe and sound at night  
Little girls depend on things like that  
Brushed my teeth and combed my hair  
Had to drive me everywhere  
You were always there when I looked back_

You had to do it all alone  
Make a living, make a home  
Must have been as hard as it could be  
And when I couldn't sleep at night  
Scared things wouldn't turn out right  
You would hold my hand and sing to me

_Caterpillar in the tree  
How you wonder who you'll be  
Can't go far but you can always dream  
Wish you may and wish you might  
Don't you worry, hold on tight  
I promise you there will come a day  
Butterfly fly away_

_One Week Before the Wedding_

Anxiously, I stood on my tiptoes to try to find the three most important adults in my life. Dad, Mom, and her husband of eight years had decided to fly in early before the wedding. It was just a week prior that I received a phone call from my mother.

"_Hello?" I answered my cell phone whose ring mysteriously got switched to "Baby Got Back." I knew, however, who got a hold of my phone last. I'm sure Emmett thought the song was funny as my stomach expanded more and more each week._

_"Baby! Happy two weeks until your wedding!" The joyful voice of my mom rang out into my ear._

_"Hey Mom. What's up?"_

_"I just rearranged my flight schedule. I decided to come next weekend; a week earlier than planned."_

_"Really? Why?" Outwardly, I was grinning at the revelation. I hadn't seen my mother since last Christmas and was excited to see her again. _

_"Well I talked to Charlie…" she began, but I interrupted._

_"Dad?" I was surprised. My mom and dad did not exactly talk socially since their divorce._

_"Yes, Isabella. He _is_ your father." I could practically hear her rolling her eyes in a manner that was so like my mother. "Anyway, we decided that we'd both come a week early. You need your mother before your wedding, and Charlie has it in his head that he needs to get to know your husband-to-be. You know your father."_

_Yes, I knew my father. And how many shotguns he owned. And a .357 Magnum. And a twenty caliber assault rifle._

_Oh yeah. I knew my father._

_"And Phil is going to join as well. At first he was going to keep the same plans, but you know how protective he has become of you as well. Apparently Phil wants to get to know Edward as well."_

Phil Dwyer was my mom's husband. Although he was ten years younger than my mother, he really does fit her free spirit. Over the years, a mutual respect and love formed between my step-father and me, although in a weird way, he was more like a brother than a father.

Anyway, I was extremely nervous. Like, extremely. Because I did something stupid.

Well, it was more like I didn't do something that was smart.

You see, my parents still didn't know I was expecting. And not only was I expecting, I was showing. And it was enough that strangers could tell that I was pregnant and not just a little heavy. My stomach was too round and uniform in shape to just be a little weight around the waist.

Suddenly, I heard a happy exclamation as I saw people part to let the crazy forty-five year old woman through. Suddenly I was in the comforting arms of my mother.

"Look at you!" she exclaimed as she leaned back slightly and took a hold of my face. "You're absolutely glowing."

I felt the blush fill my face as I whispered, "Thanks."

"Bells."

I looked over my mom's shoulder to see my father and step-father standing side-by-side waiting patiently to greet me. It was almost surreal to see them together like that. I didn't even think they had met before this occasion.

"Look, boys," my mother smiled as she finally let go to stand beside me. "Isn't she glowing?"

Phil nodded and smiled while Charlie began to say something. However, his words were cut short as he glanced down to my stomach. Immediately his eyes turned black, and a look of pure anger appeared on his face.

"Where is he?" he practically growled.

"Who? Edward?" Mom was completely clueless. "Charlie, why are you looking like that?"

Dad looked towards Mom with a look of utter disbelief. "Renee, seriously, are you blind?"

I could see how Mom could miss the obvious protruding stomach. Although she had let me go out of a full hug, she still had yet to face me completely.

"Phil, what is going on?"

Phil just smirked at his wife. "Congratulations, Grandma."

A look of confusion spread over Renee's face as she looked me up and down. Her eyes finally came to rest on my stomach as her mouth fell open into an "O."

I awkwardly stood there, playing with my hair. "Umm, yeah. Grandparents, meet Baby. Baby, meet the grandparents," I muttered as I gestured towards my stomach.

Suddenly, Mom's eyes lit up with delight. "I'm going to be a grandmother? Really?" Her arms were immediately around me, as she began asking a thousand questions a minute. However, her words did not even register in my mind as I stared over her shoulder at my father who could have steam coming out of his ears.

"Mom," I wiggled out of her hold. "Edward is probably going around in circles waiting for us to come out. We should go."

As soon as I was out of her arms, I slowly walked towards my father. Although we were both not ones to express our feelings, I always felt close to my father. We understood each other, and knowing that he was angry was breaking my heart.

"Dad," I pleaded. "Please."

Even with that one word, he knew what I was asking, and soon, his arms were around me. "It's good to see you, Bells," he whispered in my ear before letting go. "But I'm still going to kill him."

"Dad," I rolled my eyes. "Please, don't cause any problems. He's… I mean, we've been through so much these past couple of weeks."

"What do you mean?" Dad's eyes scrunched together in confusion.

"Well, you know how Edward is Carlisle's…" I began before I felt the familiar warmth of Edward's hand in mine.

"Hey, I found a parking spot," he informed me before looking up to Charlie. "You must be Mr. Swan," he greeted lifting up his right hand towards my father. "I'm Edward Cullen. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, sir."

Dad just folded his arms over his chest and glared at Edward.

My fiancée meanwhile stood there uncomfortably alternating his eyes from me to my father back to me again. Finally Dad spoke.

"I wish I could relay the same sentiment."

Thankfully, the awkwardness of the situation dissipated as the energy ball in the form of my mother pushed herself between my father and fiancée. "You must be Edward. I'm Renee, Bella's mother. But you can call me Mom. Why, you sure are a handsome man. Why didn't you tell me he was so handsome?" She turned towards me to ask that question before turning back to her soon-to-be son-in-law. "Your baby is going to be so good looking with both of your genes. Can I hug you?" She didn't even wait for an answer before she was throwing her arms around Edward.

Meanwhile, Edward's eyes widened at the reception he got from my mom. I only shrugged and smirked as if to tell him "I told you so." We had many conversations about my parents since we had met. He couldn't be that surprised that my mom was so willing to welcome him.

A chuckling Phil finally saved Edward from the clutches of my mother. "I'm Phil, Bella's step-father," he introduced himself. "It's good to finally meet you."

"It's good to meet you, too, sir."

"Sir?" Phil raised his eyebrow. "Do I really look old enough to be a 'sir'?"

"Honey, you're only six years younger than him," I explained as my father snorted behind me. _There's the dad I know._

"What…?" his eyes widened in surprise. "Oh."

Phil chuckled as he slapped Edward on the back in a friendly manner. "Now let's get out of here. I already spent way too much time in airports today."

As Phil and Edward hurried to get the luggage, I stepped back towards my father again. Wrapping my arm with his, I urged him to walk forward. "Come on Dad. Let's go to meet my new family."

The drive that would've taken me four hours to complete took Edward all of three hours. The drive, of course, was full of my mom talking. She continuously talked about the wedding, the baby, and the rainy weather.

"Really, Bella, how could you live here?" was a question that must have been asked five times during the trip.

Of course, my dad just sat quietly and glared at the back of Edward's head.

The Cullens had graciously offered their spare bedrooms to my parents. They didn't want my parents to have to pay money to spend a week in Forks when they had rooms to spare. At first, I was hesitant to allow this, but practicality won out and I allowed Esme to call my mom and dad to invite them to stay.

Now, with my father's behavior, I was starting to rethink that idea. However, it was too late to change the plans.

We were greeted on the Cullens' front porch by the whole clan, and introductions were made. I was glad to see that my father _was_ behaving himself with Edward's parents.

"Renee!" Alice exclaimed as she hugged my mother. "We finally meet!"

"Finally?" I asked, perplexed at the familiarity between the two.

"Silly, Bella. Didn't you realize I would be talking to your mom about wedding plans?" Alice explained.

I shrugged. "I don't know. It doesn't surprise me but neither one of you informed me of this."

"Hmm," Alice returned my shrug. "I guess I just never thought about it." Immediately, she went back to talking to my mother. Esme and Rose had already captured my mother's attention, so I figured I could let them discuss my wedding without me.

As Dad and Phil conversed with Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper, I caught Edward's eye, and he indicated to follow him to another area of the house. Separating ourselves from the group, we walked hand-in-hand into the house towards the living room where the piano was situated. As soon as we were out of site from our families, however, he pulled me close and leaned down to kiss me.

"Mmm," I sighed against his lips as I leaned into his body and Edward's arms automatically tightened around me. Before long, his hands were tangled in my hair as his tongue tentatively asked for entrance, which I graciously allowed.

Before I knew what was happening, he had me pressed against the wall as he let out an unfamiliar sound that was halfway between a growl and a sigh. My heart, meanwhile, was beating a mile a minute, and I could have sworn that Edward could feel it against his own chest.

Just as I was getting the desire to wrap my legs around his waist and take it farther than we ever had before (beside the night that began our journey on the road to marriage), and farther than we even had any business taking it with family just outside the room, Edward must have come to his senses and pulled away, breathless.

"One more week," he whispered, his lips still touching mine.

"One more week," I repeated.

When we both managed to calm our breathing and hearts, Edward took my hand and led me to the piano. Sitting on the bench, he pulled me to sit beside him.

"Remember the night you told me you were pregnant?" he asked tentatively as his fingers began to caress the keys.

"Of course," I rested my head against his shoulder.

"And the song I began to write?"

I smiled at the memory. "Yeah. Have you worked on it more and didn't tell me?"

"Maybe," he smirked. "Maybe not."

I pouted, but I soon recognized the bittersweet melody evolve into a happier, yet similar, melody.

"Is it finished?"

Edward frowned, "No. It will never be."

"What do you mean?" I inquired.

"It's always going to be evolving, Bella. I have found that any song I write based on a person I love never is quite finished."

"So if it's not finished, why are you finally playing it for me?"

"I'm not playing it for you."

"Hmph," I pouted. "Well, then why are you playing it?"

A smile small appeared on his face. "Because at this point in your pregnancy, our baby may actually be able to hear. So I'm playing him his song."

"Him? Are you sure it's a him?" I teased, although I have to admit that my eyes were watering at his gesture.

He shrugged as he gradually ended our baby's song. "Would you rather me call him an 'it'?"

"No. But I would like to know if you would prefer a boy or a girl."

"What difference does it make?" Edward asked me. "Nothing is going to change whether our baby is a son or a daughter."

I rolled my eyes. "Can't you answer a simple question?"

His eyes lit up playfully as he retorted, "You never asked a question." As he said this, he slid off the bench to kneel down before me.

When he reached to pull my shirt up, I went to stop him. "What are you doing, Edward? A little impatient, aren't you?"

This time it was Edward's turn to roll his eyes as he pushed my hands away. But as he reached down to kiss my belly, tears really did start to fall as I witnessed what proceeded.

"Hey baby," he cooed to my stomach. "I don't know if you can hear me yet, but it's your daddy. Don't mind your mommy too much. She's silly, but I'm sure you will find out soon, but not soon enough. You stay safe in there, you hear?"

Kissing my belly again, he looked up to see me smiling through my tears. "Hey, babe," he reached up to wipe my tears away. "Don't go crying on me. I might have to tell our baby that not only are you silly, but emotional too."

I laughed, enjoying the loving look in my fiancée's eyes. "There's nothing really new with that one."

"No, there isn't," he whispered as he reached up to gently kiss me.

A gruff voice was what broke our kiss apart. "Come on kids; dinner is ready."

I looked up just to see my father's back retreating into the dining room.

"Hey Dad," I greeted quietly as I sat down on the swing next to the man that raised me.

"Hey Bells."

After dinner, the Cullens and my family retreated to the living room downstairs to continue to get to know one another. However, after twenty minutes, I watched as my dad quietly slipped upstairs and out onto the porch.

We sat in silence for a moment, just gazing at the sky that temporarily opened up so we could see the stars.

"Are you disappointed in me?" I could not help but ask.

"Wait.. What?" Surprised, Dad turned his face towards me.

"You've been acting all… off," I shrugged while I aimlessly dragged my foot against the floor.

Dad sighed as he leaned his head back against the bench. "Bells, if I'm disappointed in you, it's because you didn't warn me before I came."

I looked down at my hands. "I know," I sighed. "I wanted to tell you, but I was scared, Dad. I didn't know how to tell you over the phone."

"I could understand that, Bells, but you need to see how I feel in this situation. I was just thrown into a situation where I had to come to grips that my little girl was not only getting married, but also had a baby on the way."

"I'm sorry," I sniffled, my eyes watering.

Dad sighed again, putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close. "I know, kiddo, I know."

We sat in companionable silence again, until curiosity got the best of me. "What do you think of Edward, Dad?"

His only response was a gruff, "Hmph."

"Dad," I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder. "Please," I repeated my request from earlier that day in the airport. "You don't understand what we've been through."

"Why don't you tell me, then?"

"Well, I need to tell you that Edward and I were only friends when this happened."

"You mean you weren't even dating when you two…" Dad's face turned red just as mine does when embarrassed. Even though I spent my teenage years living with my father, he never even gave me the "Birds and the Bees" speech. I knew this conversation had to be difficult for him.

I spared him even more embarrassment by answering his partially unspoken question. "No. I avoided him for almost a month afterward until I found out I was pregnant. It forced us to discuss our feelings for each other, and not long afterward, we decided to get married." I paused before continuing. "Well, you know that Carlisle is the pastor of the church, and I obviously was the youth minister. When we first became engaged, people just assumed we weren't openly dating before the engagement, but then it became obvious…"

My father finished for me, "That you were pregnant."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I was forced to resign from my position, which I knew I would have to do anyway, and people just started treating us differently. Some members of the church have been great, but others…"

I realized that I had begun crying again when Dad pulled me even closer, kissing the top of my head. "I'm sorry, Bells. It hurts me to see you in pain."

"I know, Dad. But at the same time, I know I got myself in this mess…"

"But that doesn't give other people the right to judge. Those people obviously don't know you enough to truly love you like I, as well as the rest of your family and friends, do."

"Thanks, Dad."

"For what?"

"For being a dad."

"Hey, you will never guess who is taking my spot, though," I suddenly brightened up.

"Who?"

"Remember my friend from high school? Angela?"

"Yeah."

"Well she applied for the position and yesterday we decided to offer her the job. Carlisle is planning on calling her tomorrow to offer it. She could very well be moving close to me again."

"That's great, Bells."

"Yeah," I smiled. "By the way, you never told me truthfully what you think of Edward."

"As much as I want to hate him for what he did for you…"

"Dad, obviously I had as much a part in it…" I began, but Dad held up his hand to stop me.

"Please, Bella, I don't want to hear any more of that. I still consider you my little girl." I nodded before he continued, "I have to confess that before I called you to dinner, I witnessed some interaction between you two."

"Oh?" I felt my face redden as I wondered exactly _how much_ he saw.

"Bella, the way that I saw him talk to your baby and treat you so gently," Dad's voice turned rough with emotion. "It's obvious how much he adores you."

"He does, Dad."

"And it's just as obvious how much _you_ adore _him_." I nodded against his shoulder. "Despite the circumstances that brought you two together, I have no doubt about your marriage."

I reached up to kiss my father on his cheek; something that was rare for me to do. "Thank you, Daddy."

"Welcome, Bells," he kissed me back on my head before he gently disengaged himself and stood up. "Now, I think I should go to bed and rest. After all, the men and I have a busy day ahead of ourselves."

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow as I stood to follow him into the house.

"Yeah," he continued, talking over his shoulder. "We're all going to the shooting range to fire a few rounds." He chuckled when he saw me stop in my tracks. "'Night, kiddo."

_Oh dear Lord,_ I silently prayed up to the sky. _Please let nobody die tomorrow._

_Butterfly fly away, butterfly fly away  
Flap your wings now you can't stay  
Take those dreams and make them all come true_

Butterfly fly away, butterfly fly away  
We've been waiting for this day  
All along and knowing just what to do  
Butterfly, butterfly, butterfly, butterfly fly away

_**End Notes: **__(Some relevant, some not)_

_1.) Thank you all for reading even though my updating is sporadic at best. You have been understanding in knowning how RL sometimes is._

_2.) I'm proud to announce, that I am going to an aunt for the first time! My sister is due in March, and I'm already planning to spend my spring break at her house so I can help around the house and give her time to do stuff on her own... like take a shower once in a while. I did talk to her belly two weeks ago, too, and introduced myself to the little one. (They're calling him/her "Taylor" after Tylor Swift for now... until they find out if he is a boy or girl.)_

_And... I was a complete geek and managed to actually slip a line from my story into conversation... My parents were telling her she didn't have to walk us down the long driveway and across the street (because she was pregnant) so I retorted "She's pregnant, not an invalid."_

_Yeah._

_3.) I finally figured out who I want Edward to look like as a "grown-up." For now, he can look like Colonel Shepherd from Stargate Atlantis... but with auburn hair. As he gets older he can look like Colonel O'Neil (AKA Colonel MacGyver) from Sg-1. _

_See? I said I was a geek._


End file.
